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To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/03/08 06:44
Subject: Re: [K-list] relationships
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent


On 1999/03/08 06:44, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:

At 03:38 AM 3/8/99 , molecularbreeze wrote:
>
>WHAT do you know of the phenomenon of abuse? Please share some more of
>your wisdom with me. So I can chew you up and spit you out. Come on
let's >hear it.
    Ah so, righteousness gives permission to be abusive? The Spanish
Inquisition liked that one, too, Connie.. where do you plan to go with it?
  
>>>There is very little question that victims often gain a perverse and
>inverted sense of power from their role as victims. I think it is a shame
that so
>many forces in the culture feed this sense of power. I am truly disappointed
>that members of this list are so ready to join that bandwagon.
>
>(Connie spits, spits, spits). Whoever wrote this is NOT for real.

     how eloquently you made his point, Connie.. feeling like a victim,
because of his threatening statement gives you the power to judge and
reject him, even spit on him? Not on this list. Bet it felt good to post
that stuff tho, right.. to lash out with a perverse inverted sense of
power, as the slighted victim righteously defending herself... from what?
A disagreeing opinion?
     Do you want to spit on me, next? Go ahead, if it will help you relax. :)

   He is right, you know... the victim has the dreadful power to accuse..
you are not ready to see that, that is why your reactions are so powerful.
Right now you are at the place in your healing, of reclaiming your power by
blaming your abuser, ...a band-aid strategy, but socially approved.
  To truly reclaim your power, eventually you must come to terms with your
part in what you created in your life. Two to tango.. you must eventually
release your attachment to the idea that you were ever helpless, in order
to be finally free.
  
  Early in awakening, at the bottom of the tree of life the separation
between light and dark seems very clear, and the judgments of Righteousness
from these perceptions are the tragedies of religious oppression. The
pro-choice/pro-life abortion debates as a good example of this. As you move
up the tree, light is revealed in all of the dark places, till love is All
that Is.
 We choose our birth, our families, our death and the form it will take. On
 soul level, victims and abusers make loving agreements to have various
interactions and experiences within the realm of duality. We choose to be
victims, because sometimes it is what we need to shift ourselves onto a
different path, or even, to open to a bigger level of forgiveness and
unconditional love..

   Whether the humans working out the experiences are aware of these
choices of not, there is still free will in action.
  In women's self defense courses, one of the things they teach is how to
adopt a posture so that you appear confident and strong, so you do not walk
around expressing the message that you are a victim with your body
language. Abusers look at body language instinctively, to know who will
fight back, and who will not. Sure as wolves can smell fear.
   I am not "blaming the victim", I'm not blaming anyone, it just Is.
Abusers and victims find each other, just as teachers and students do, and
for much the same reasons, from Spirit's perspective. Fire and pounding
refines steel, and shit makes the flowers bloom. Suffering makes good poetry.
  It is the ego that judges these incidents, and has the emotional
reactions to them.. from the witness state, it appears very different.
"Problems" are gifts we haven't found the purpose of, yet.. There are no
abusers and no victims, only humans making choices out of fear or love,
doing the best they can for who they are and what they know.
   The humans who feel most unloved, are the ones most likely to lash out
in their pain. It is the rat who feels cornered and afraid, that is the
most dangerous and likely to attack.
     Goddess mercy on your healing..

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