To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/03/07 14:37
Subject: Re: [K-list] Re: kundalini-digest V1 #80
From: Kath
On 1999/03/07 14:37, Kath posted thus to the K-list:
Charles V. wrote:
> >I'm pleased to say I have come across only a few men and women in my =
> >life who seem to want me to abuse them.
I'm sorry, Charles, but this is, well, an unimaginable point of view IMO. I
can see people being dysfunctional, or even a little kinky and into the
(totally up front consensual) pain thing (ask Mystress Angelique about
that)...but the self worth business, I have REAL problems with what you
imply
here. (perhaps I'm naive but...)
> I personally prefer loving =
> >relationships so I have run away from them
<the alleged abuse lovers>
>
> as quickly as I can. Thinking =
> >back over these experiences, however, it is almost as though these =
> >people wanted me to validate their own view of themselves as worthless.
Now why would you say that...unless you perhaps (apparently) thought
that this
was what they wanted/needed and bought into what you thought was their
game?
I take exception to your POV because I had a bad experience with a
supervisor
who used a similar "line" when explaining why he was so abusive to me...he
said "everyone gets what they want in life, no matter what it is" <quoting or
mis-quoting somebody named Arnold Patent>... and by this he was
referring to
everything from car crashes, terrorist murders, illnesses, etc. etc.... in
other words there was no room in his tiny universe for anything even
remotely
random...everything was "karma" and pre-arranged, with no room for
random
events or chaos of any type.
He used this against me several times by saying, when he would talk
abusively
to me and do overtly sexually harrassing things, that it was what I wanted.
This, IMO, is total bullshit. Not everything is "black or white" Charles...and
if you have used this philosophy of yours as an excuse to be mean to
someone,
I think you have been badly mistaken.
Don't get me wrong, I'm trying to be loving here, but I get the feeling that
you have, as the other poster just wrote, a LOT to learn.
> >I'm aware that at least one of them was abused by her father, and in a =
> >strange way I believe she was 'comfortable' with an abusive =
> >relationship, however unpleasant it was for her. At least she was =
> >familiar with how they worked, and was confident she could handle it.
> >
> >I believe it takes two to tango, and always has.
Tell that to the next rape victim you come across.
--Bright Blessings
--Kath
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