1998/09/10  02:04  
 kundalini-l-d Digest V98 #645 
  
kundalini-l-d Digest				Volume 98 : Issue 645
 
Today's Topics: 
  Re: Angelique - where oh where are y  [ "Hudson Jackson II" <hjackson2ATnospamhotm ] 
  Re: Unidentified subject!             [ raptor <splackoATnospamkr.tel.hr> ] 
  Permanence                            [ "Paul" <paulwestATnospamstationone.demon.c ] 
  RE: Views on Aura-(Part III, IV)      [ "jb" <janbarenATnospaminfase.es> ] 
  Re: Unidentified subject!             [ "Mel August" <bodacia31ATnospamhotmail.com ] 
  Reiki                                 [ flute <FluteATnospamcreate.org> ] 
  Re: Unidentified subject!             [ raptor <splackoATnospamkr.tel.hr> ] 
  spanking Kat.. Re: thunder storms an  [ Mystress Angelique Serpent <serpent ] 
  I'm Back...:) was Re: unsubscribe     [ Mystress Angelique Serpent <serpent ] 
  Re: The shadow                        [ Mystress Angelique Serpent <serpent ] 
Date: Wed, 09 Sep 1998 18:17:50 PDT 
From: "Hudson Jackson II" <hjackson2ATnospamhotmail.com> 
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com 
Subject: Re: Angelique - where oh where are you?? 
Message-ID: <19980910011750.6741.qmailATnospamhotmail.com> 
Content-Type: text/plain
 
>>Angelique....  
>> 
>>I'm trying to send you an off-list note and it keeps being returned to  
>me - 
<snip> 
>Not worry. . . she posted something either Monday or yesterday.  I sent  
>something to her off-line also, but no reply - but I didn't get return  
>e-mail either. 
> 
>Angelique, weeeeeeee're waiting. . . :-) 
> 
>(meditating in front of fire at virtual campsite)
 
I made a judgement call too early!  I got return e-mail seconds after  
trying to send it to Miss Angelique.  Not only that, her Web site's down  
as well!
 
Well, I guess we'll be waiting quite awhile.  :'|
 
 
- Hudson
 
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 
Webmaster (n.): A spider who has achieved 
enlightenment on its home turf.
 
 
______________________ 
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com 
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1998 03:12:30 +0200 
From: raptor <splackoATnospamkr.tel.hr> 
To: fredaann2ATnospamjuno.com (freda ann) 
Cc: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com 
Subject: Re: Unidentified subject! 
Message-Id: <3.0.2.32.19980910031230.00a35160ATnospampop.tel.hr> 
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
 
At 05:18 PM 9/9/98 -0700, freda ann wrote: 
>cosmic energy, 
>I am aware that you have chosen this unlikely forum, a *discussion* list 
>as your personal podium to lecture on, and therefore WE are not allowed 
>to ask questions.  
>IMO people have been more than kind in this reguard...... I get a real 
>comical piture in my head of how my fellow K-sters would react if "I "<or 
>any one else> were to start sending in  *opinions* with the instructions  
>that the entire group  
>"BE STILL,  and speak IF and When permission is granted!" 
 
Hi freda ann, where've you been? I've missed your angry posts.. :))) 
 
  
 or annfreda or fredaann, as you've put it to me once.. :)
 
><For example - At the beginning, we had requested everyone to putforth 
>their 
>queries/comments, only after we complete our series. Almost all were kind 
>enough to heed to our request, but one (kidney bean) could not resist.> 
> 
>add ME to your bowl of chilli. <the hotter the better!!> 
>This has gone too far..... now you are insulting K-sters here on this 
>list for disopeying your *request* to keep quiet? to speak when told to 
>speak?
 
 <fzzzzzzz> my gawd, this grrl is hot hot hot.. real chili.. :)
 
>like a little child, doing as all children do (with god given innocence 
>to ask dumb questions?) I ask,  
>out of turn of course: 
> 
>Which are You?  
>lion or sheep?  
>What the heck are the *circumstances* to which we owe this grand 
>teaching? 
>what IS your intent?  
>and how many more LECTUREs must we endure before you allow questions 
 
 you speak about not giving lectures, and lecture the lecturer who, just 
maybe, is not lecturing as much as you think..
 
 ;)) :)))
 
>pardon my evolution but my survival might just depend on a much more 
>pressing question: 
>How hazardous can a *supressed* Amygdala  be?  
>How many need be eaten up by a lion before it is considered appropriate 
>to HOLLER 
>"Halt!! who goes there?...." 
>"Halt!! who goes there?..." 
>"Halt!! who goes there?..." 
>if you are a sheep..... now would be a good time to say BAAAAAA
 
 how hazardous is your cynism? ;)) :)))))
 
>just out of curiosity.... 
>what color is paranoia anyway?
 
 I always thought it was yellowish or something like that.. :) 
  
 hey, would you mind if I send you a big <hug> to help you deal with your 
frustrations?
 
 .. kiss. :) 
 
 Be well, to quote Lobster.. :)
 
 
 
 
  ____/(______/|____/\_______)\____________ 
  \vr!\_ . \ . | . >  _> .\_ . \ No sounds, no silence. No truth, no lies./ 
   `~~~|_,_<_,_>__Y<__>\__/|_,_<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` 
 Latah! 
Date: 10 Sep 98 03:04:37 +0000 
From: "Paul" <paulwestATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk> 
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com 
Subject: Permanence 
Message-Id: <OUT-35F741C5.MD-1.0.paulwestATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk> 
 
Hi.
 
As I write I am at the end of a totally new day. I don't think I have 
ever done before anything that I did today.
 
Last night just as I was getting to sleep my parting words with the 
world were that there are two states. Either I could be in a state of 
BEING comletely honest and confident, or a state of having to check to 
make sure. I saw, actually saw, that the two states could not coexist.
 
In the night I dreampt of a voyage of great confidence, personified by 
me driving my own car most competently and unremorseful walking away 
from accidents.
 
When I woke I was immediately very confident. Somehow I knew I was 
going to go into town today. And I did. I haven't been out of the 
house for a few months! I just did it. It just happened. I surrendered 
every part of the journey, seeing that I could turn back at any time I 
wished. Honesty was my only travel partner and I fought to have no 
politeness. I don't think I've ever felt so at home in a foreign 
place.
 
On my return I experienced as I have many times recently that no time 
had passed. Timelessness is becoming a general feature. I still don't 
believe I did it. I am not even sure that I am writing this message. 
Oh what it is not to be constantly checking to make sure. It's insane, 
not knowing the nature of anything or experiencing anything and not 
wanting to. Talk about an act of faith! I think I am almost crying 
now a tear of joy.
 
I told myself again and again, do not check, do not want to know, do 
not be mediumistic, do not be polite, do not pretend. Honestly only, 
as God as my partner and friend, into the everlasting here. I am not 
sure if any time has passed since I woke this morning. Hmm, hehe, 
actually I know it has but that's funny.
 
That kundalini thing is sure busy at the moment, it won't leave me 
alone. I don't see any point in having any certification about 
anything right now. Who needs reassurance. Either you focus 
permanently on the truth or you break away hoping to remain there 
while you just check to be sure. Pointless.
 
Just being, in your service.
 
Much love and laughs. |-)
 
--  
Paul.
 
IRC: #amiga, Dalnet: #blitz 
WWW: http://www.stationone.demon.co.uk 
E-M: paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk 
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1998 03:27:24 +0100 
From: "jb" <janbarenATnospaminfase.es> 
To: "cosmic energy" <sciATnospamnde.vsnl.net.in>, <kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com> 
Subject: RE: Views on Aura-(Part III, IV) 
Message-ID: <000001bddc62$8c23bce0$67f14dc3ATnospamjb> 
Content-Type: text/plain; 
 charset="iso-8859-1" 
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
 
Cosmic energy quoted Buddha: 
[...]  " What I say and what the world says, 
> weigh them on the scale of your mind and follow only that which you think 
> has weight."
 
Jan: That is exactly my intention.
 
Cosmic energy: 
> Lord Buddha  - 25-32-38-42-0-aura of palms & eyes-beyond measure, K  fully 
> awakened. 
> 
> Jesus Christ  - 16-18-22-25-1-32-14-  K  fully awakened. 
> 
> Maharishi Ramana - 13-14-17-19-1-7-24- K  fully awakened.
 
Jan: I would not call this funny, but misleading. Buddha clearly described 
the situation, where from his perspective K. had become non-existent. So how 
can there be an awakened K.? Another point is, that the outcome of the 
"remote in time & space sensing" will depend on the spiritual stage of that 
moment  - this is crucial information and it isn't mentioned at all.... 
Ramana Maharshi made a remark that without a doubt leads to the conclusion 
that for him too K. had become non-existent. There is no proof whatsoever 
for the physical existence of Jesus Christ - the NT is an encrypted text 
about "K. yoga for the West", where Jesus is the name of the (fictive) 
person undergoing the transformations.
 
Cosmic energy: 
>>  #  Can the AURA, as photographed by the Kirlian camera,as seen by the 
> clairvoyants or as sensed by the healers, be wrong? 
> 
> Yes, in certain conditions : 
> 1.Kirlian camera can show different results if some spirit is present 
> near/around the person whose photo was snapped . [...]
 
Jan: What the camera does, it making a picture of the form and intensity of 
an electrical field. So humidity is very important, as is conductivity of 
the testperson.  As the average diet consists of cooked food with salt, the 
conductivity of the skin will be relatively high. So fasting or changing 
diet to fruits will result in a big "improvement" of the aura although 
spiritually not much is happening.
 
Cosmic energy: 
>What  actually  are   Cosmic  rays ?   They  are   atomic  particles . 
>They  travel  in space  outside  the   earth's  atmosphere  at  speeds 
>nearly  equal  to   that  of  light.
 
Jan: Cosmic rays are essentially gamma (Röntgen) rays of very high energy 
and they are traveling with the speed of light. When these photons collide 
with a nucleus, a shower of (charged) particles is generated. This is 
happening in the atmosphere. May I suggest reading "starquake" in New 
Scientist of August 15? 
Date: Wed, 09 Sep 1998 19:41:15 PDT 
From: "Mel August" <bodacia31ATnospamhotmail.com> 
To: fredaann2ATnospamjuno.com 
Cc: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com 
Subject: Re: Unidentified subject! 
Message-ID: <19980910024115.4341.qmailATnospamhotmail.com> 
Content-Type: text/plain
 
>>How many need be eaten up by a lion before it is considered  
appropriate 
>>to HOLLER 
>>"Halt!! who goes there?...." 
>>"Halt!! who goes there?..." 
>>"Halt!! who goes there?..." 
>>if you are a sheep..... now would be a good time to say BAAAAAA 
> 
> how hazardous is your cynism? ;)) :))))) 
> 
>>just out of curiosity.... 
>>what color is paranoia anyway? 
> 
> 
> I always thought it was yellowish or something like that.. :)
 
 
Me  thinks it is purple...very similar to the shade for wisdom...but  
then people tell me...I'm paranoid all the time...so maybe I'm not the  
most impartial aura observer.  : P 
Blessings... 
Bodacia
 
______________________ 
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com 
Date: Wed, 09 Sep 1998 21:52:57 -0500 
From: flute <FluteATnospamcreate.org> 
To: "kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com" <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com> 
Subject: Reiki 
Message-ID: <35F73F09.7FC2ATnospamcreate.org> 
 
I was reading the list and found something, that appears to be from 
me?????? That Maybe was in reply to a note I sent some time ago?  I 
didn't write the stuff below..but its not bad..  and there didn't seem 
to be someone to reply to.. HOwever..It wasn't.. ??? So here's my reply 
... 
YEP There are dozens of different reflections of the same healing 
process. And you don't have to look at science a while back.. Just look 
at Xrays.. MRIs.. Heat monitroing (heat also energy)and even the latest 
commercial on TV where the hair dryer and the woman's hair is shown in 
varied colors.. now to go back a ways....... 
As said by Sri Yutesware (Yoganada's book "The Holy Science")written in 
1920 before American Scientist figured it out. "We learn from Oriental 
Astromony that moons revolve around their planets and planets turning on 
their axes revolve with their moons around the sun; and the sun, with 
its planets and their moons, takes some star forits dual and revolves 
around it.  THe sun also has another motion by which it revolves round a 
grand center (called Vishnuabhi, which is the seat of the creative 
power, Brahma, the universal magnetism. Brahma regulates dharma, the 
mental virtue of the INTERNAL World. As so.. as the atom turns.. 
giggling 
and more.. 
"In this book certain truths such as those about the properties of 
magnetism, its auras, different sorts of electricities, tec. have been 
mentoned, although modern science has not yet fullly discovered them. 
The five sorts of electricity can be easily understood if one will 
direct his attenton to the nerve properties, which are purely electrical 
in nature. 
Soooooo as I teach my students.. "You are a battery" 
Love, 
flute
 
> # REIKI and KUNDALINI. 
> "Reiki" is a Japanese word, meaning - Universal Life Force Energy. In 
> short, Reiki is one of the many (hundreds) methods of tapping the Cosmic 
> Energy and using it for healing/non-healing purposes. But, what and where 
> is Cosmic Energy? Lets understand this first. 
>  
> Arkady Leokum,England in the book published in 1977 tells about the 
> experiments. : 
> About   80   years   ago,  scientists  noticed   a  strange  occurrence . 
> They  found  that  a  sample   of  air    in  a   closed   container 
> showed  a small  amount of  electrical conductivity.  Even  when they 
> surrounded  the container with thick shields, this was still true . It 
> meant   that  some   kind of radiation  was entering  the container, 
> radiation more  penetrating    than known  before ! 
> Where  was  this mysterious radiation coming from ?  All kinds of 
> experiments were made to get the answer . First, they proved that it wasn't 
> coming from land, because it was over sea,  too.  Since it was the same - 
> during night and also during the day, it wasn't coming from the sun.  And 
> by going up in a balloon to great altitudes,  it was shown  to be 
> everywhere in  the space or  "COSMIC" - which  means  'Universal'. 
> What  actually  are   Cosmic  rays ?   They  are   atomic  particles . 
> They  travel  in space  outside  the   earth's  atmosphere  at  speeds 
> nearly  equal  t 
--  
--  
flute 
http://www.create.org/healingarts 
"The same stream of life that runs through my veins night and day runs 
through the world and dances in rhythmic measures." R. Tagore 
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1998 05:26:50 +0200 
From: raptor <splackoATnospamkr.tel.hr> 
To: "Mel August" <bodacia31ATnospamhotmail.com> 
Cc: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com 
Subject: Re: Unidentified subject! 
Message-Id: <3.0.2.32.19980910052650.00a36b60ATnospampop.tel.hr> 
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
 
At 07:41 PM 9/9/98 PDT, Mel August wrote:
 
>>>just out of curiosity.... 
>>>what color is paranoia anyway? 
>> 
>> 
>> I always thought it was yellowish or something like that.. :) 
> 
> 
> 
>Me  thinks it is purple...very similar to the shade for wisdom...but  
>then people tell me...I'm paranoid all the time...so maybe I'm not the 
 
 Yes, purple too is one of the colors coming to mind, but it doesn't make 
sense..  I mean, purple goes waay up on the spectrum, and paranoia doesn't 
have anything to do with 'up-there',.. or does it? :))
 
>most impartial aura observer.  : P
 
 :)) Ah, a brother in arms.. :) 
 
 I'm told to be paranoid sometimes too.. :))
 
 So what.. fuck it.. somebody's gotta do it, ain't that so.. :)))))
 
 
  ____/(______/|____/\_______)\____________ 
  \vr!\_ . \ . | . >  _> .\_ . \ No sounds, no silence. No truth, no lies./ 
   `~~~|_,_<_,_>__Y<__>\__/|_,_<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` 
 Latah! 
Date: Wed, 09 Sep 1998 00:22:19 -0700 
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent <serpentATnospamdomin8rex.com> 
To: "Kat" <kcliffordATnospamodyssey.on.ca> 
Cc: <ImtgxxxATnospamaol.com>, <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com> 
Subject: spanking Kat.. Re: thunder storms and tempers 
Message-Id: <3.0.1.32.19980909002219.00cb3674ATnospammail.fantasycorp.com> 
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
 
  kinda silly to repost the whole thing again then, eh, Kat.. ?? 
 Learn to snip!! 
 
At 07:43 PM 08/09/98 -0400, Kat wrote: 
>Sorry but there is not much I can add to your post.  I understood everything 
>you have said in it and I am grateful that you shared this knowledge with 
>me.  I cannot disagree with anything that you have said or add to it.  It 
>was a wonderful post and a good reminder to me. 
> 
>In L&L & Understanding, 
> 
>Kat 
> 
> 
> 
Date: Wed, 09 Sep 1998 14:32:59 -0700 
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent <serpentATnospamdomin8rex.com> 
To: ImtgxxxATnospamaol.com 
Cc: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com 
Subject: I'm Back...:) was Re: unsubscribe 
Message-Id: <3.0.1.32.19980909143259.00cae8e0ATnospammail.fantasycorp.com> 
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
 
At 11:40 PM 07/09/98 EDT, ImtgxxxATnospamaol.com wrote: 
>Our List Mystress has passed on to the other side for awhile.  Please be 
>patient while ressurection occurs.  If you cannot be patient, then be.   
> 
>
 
  TG, you are hilarious..:)  
 I am resurrected, back from the underworld.. and changed. Reborn..  
 How I am changed, is very hard to describe. I have managed to figger out 
that it is partly because the part of me that likes to think about stuff, 
analyze it and find reasons, didn't come back.. I don't miss it. either.  
 My head is a very quiet place. Very peaceful. I like it.  
  I feel a kind of quiet confidence that is subtle, but powerful. It is 
both old and new.. what is different, is perhaps that the opposing forces 
of confidence and insecurity, which flips back into a need to express 
greater confidence to manage greater insecurity, is absent. Poof.. not what 
for?  
  I had wondered what would be changed, how much different I would be after 
this.. I put some projects on hold.. but did not discard them altogether 
coz most of them came from Goddess in the first place.. gifts inherited 
from my previous self... what is different is my perspective on them.. they 
had a weight of stuff around them that made them seem heavy and difficult.. 
now they seem fun and easy.. like, why not??  
   
 Cannot describe it, don't wanna try.. have tried, and failed .. like 
trying to write a book about how to ride a bicycle... shrug, laugh, don't 
care. Inexpressible.. 
   I have been freed from a lot of opinions, without much motivation to 
make new ones to replace 'em.. don't have a reason to look for reasons. If 
I need to know something I do know it.. most of the thin thread of 
conversation that happens in my head, is when I am wondering how to explain 
what's up with me to someone else.. that seems to be the main use my mind 
has, for words.. (shrug).. I am still getting used to it.. yet at the same 
time it seems eternal. 
 
 What I can describe, is what seems changed about my energy.. Dharma and I 
both found, that it seemed we had less energy, until we turned inward and 
discovered each time that there was actually full blast k-fire pouring 
thru.. but so smoothly, we weren't noticing. New normal.  
  We have tried to compare our experience.. it is different, somehow.. but 
we both find that when we try to analyse it we just end up in silence then 
shrug laff don't care.. it just Is.  
  Witches around me commented that powerful beautiful peaceful energy was 
coming from me in waves.. I felt very peaceful but was not aware of the 
wave effect till they observed it. Very much like a tide, and in meditation 
I could feel the pulse of it, but it was not till this morning I connected 
the tide of outpouring energy with my physical pulse.. and the pulse of the 
planet.. and tripped out on the perfection of it. Marriage to 
Hades/Chacmool/the light under the ground= two hearts that now beat as 
one.. there is only One..:)  
  Went to look for the alternate bits of myself.. they have all melded 
together somehow..I can remember how they used to be, and pull them up if I 
want to, but it seems artificial.. memory. If I seek them in the moment, I 
find reflections of my self.  
  So, if this is what total enlightenment is like, it's very kewl and I 
heartily (ha! punny) recommend it. :) 
     Blessings, Mystress.  
Date: Wed, 09 Sep 1998 14:07:41 -0700 
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent <serpentATnospamdomin8rex.com> 
To: "Sharon Webb" <shawebbATnospamyhc.edu> 
Cc: "Paul" <paulwestATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk>, <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com> 
Subject: Re: The shadow 
Message-Id: <3.0.1.32.19980909140741.00cb02a0ATnospammail.fantasycorp.com> 
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
 
At 04:44 PM 03/09/98 -0400, Sharon Webb wrote: 
>Paul, 
> 
>Everybody has a shadow side.  The fact that you've recognized it is very 
>good.  What you need to be aware of now, is that your shadow is not evil. 
 The shadow in essence is the fear of death.. it is the cornered rat, that 
appears as most hateful. It's behavior is simply nature.. love of life. 
 
>You're quite right. You need to love him and accept him and integrate him 
>into your being because he is part of you.  When you do, you'll find it is a 
>significant step toward wholeness---and you will also learn that he is your 
>strength. 
  Hades, My beloved Husband.. :) My Self.
 
>Love, 
>Sharon 
> 
>-----Original Message----- 
>From: Paul <paulwestATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk> 
>To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com> 
>Date: Thursday, September 03, 1998 4:37 PM 
>Subject: The shadow 
> 
> 
>>Hi. 
>> 
>>This morning I was introduced to my shadow. Not a pretty sight. 
>>Actually there was no visual input but it is an experience in 
>>consciousness, the form of the consciousness, that relayed the full 
>>extent of the hatred that was there. 
   No kidding she shows you hatred.. it is a mirror of what you have shown 
her for so long.. keeping her caged up under your smiles to please others 
so they will like you.. 
 Let her out so she can tell you her stories.. and you can be healed of 
them, by embracing her with compassion.   
 
>>Underneath the pleasantness and the niceness and the kindness and the 
>>attractiveness I have always deeply been eaten but hatred, anger, 
>>aggression and all sorts of dark emotions, feelings and attitudes. I 
>>always hid these because I wanted to be nicer, kinder, more pleasant. 
>>The worse this got the more it seemed I had to struggle to enforce my 
>>pleasantness. 
  That is how repression works. Every time you stuff it, the negative 
energy of stuffing it gets added to the size of the monster. 
 
>>This has for a long time been true. I always disliked the 
>>appearance of other people smiling falsely, perhaps so that I would 
>>not have to face my own dissection. 
  We already know this about you, Paul.. :) That is also why you feel a 
need to be demonstrative of the process of your dissection.. sleight of 
hand.. misdirection. 
 (pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.. look instead at the 
facade of the Great Oz..)
 
>>I had a dream in the night in which there was blackness and not 
>>visible form. <..> It was part of me. I was me. This person that 
>>stood in front of me was filled with an immense hatred, anger, 
>>aggression, stubbornness, violence, disgust and offence. This person 
>>to me was the projection of hatred, like an embodiment of it, but it 
>>was as if a piece of jigsaw to which whatever was left of me was the 
>>matching piece. 
   The Artist and his Galatea.. give love to that which you have created, 
and nurture it into light.. or go the route of Frankenstein.. the monster 
loose, rampaging.. a cornered rat.
 
>>The person kicked me very hard in the stomach in an act of apparently 
>>unreasoned violence. It hurt, and it woke me up with a start, and I 
>>could feel this injury, an actual experience of it in my body. Not to 
>>the same extent but it was definately there. For the first several 
>>hours of today this person was inside of me. I think it has always 
>>been, but only today have I looked at it or dared aknowledge it. 
  Yup. The stomach kick was an act of love. A blockage being cleared from 
the energy body with violence. Hatred _is_ a kick in the gut.. the pain is 
the shards remaining. Give them love to transmute. Thank the shadow lady 
for the kick. Tell her you deserve it and ask for another.. thankyou 
Mistress Dark Goddess.. unconditional love and gratitude heal all shadows.  
  If you are very lucky, eventually she will kill you, (the ego of Paul 
West) as an act of mercy and you will be reborn one whole, instead of two 
reflections. The heart that you give her, won't stop beating.. she loves 
you too much to really want you dead. The shadow is your own unconscious 
mind, it controls your body and will sustain it.  Kali wants to tenderize 
your guts before she feasts on them. She loves you so much she thinks 
you're good enough to eat. 
 
>>I am not a peaceful person. The peace that I have is a calmness that 
>>is enforced and pretended. Even that which I spoke recently coming 
>>from `the heart' was a delusion of kindness and prettyness in a 
>>sophisticated cover of the other side of me, the side that I rarely 
>>aknowledge.  
  Well, to a certain extent most everybody is like this.. ego is 
self-image, after all.. with women, it tends to be even more slippery coz 
the social constructs of "niceness" are laid on thicker. Guilt happens when 
self image=ego, and behavior don't match. "I'm not the kind of person who 
would DO something like that.. oops I just did.. =guilt.  
  Change the behavior, or change the self image. Forgive yourself.. poof 
guilt vanishes.  
  Changing the self image is often easier, and leads to a change in 
behavior anyways. Give her a place to express herself, so you can learn to 
trust her..  
>> 
>>I think this is true for everyone but this is my own personal 
>>nightmare. There are two of me and that bothers me. Being introduced 
>>to this fact is not a very pleasant thing. Probably there is already 
>>rejection in suggesting that the darker side is the other.  
    The dark wilds of your unconscious will always seem as "other", so long 
as your ego is present. In the sacred marriage, they are unified.. you have 
felt the child that is the third of this trio..Spirit.  Kundalini unifies.. 
Beat the drums and dance! 
 
 
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