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1998/09/03 22:07
kundalini-l-d Digest V98 #628

kundalini-l-d Digest Volume 98 : Issue 628
Today's Topics: Re: Energy Fluctuations [ Mystress Angelique Serpent ]
  Re: gurus [ "Evelyn Niedbalec" To: nancyATnospamwtp.net
Cc: "kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com" Subject: Re: Energy Fluctuations
Message-Id: At 04:56 PM 01/09/98 -0600, nancy wrote:
>Mystress Angelique Serpent wrote: >
>> Intuition comes from your unconscious mind. The path of K. is to unify >> the two parts, male-fem, thru surrendering the ego.
> >This is the second reference I have encountered today about this male-female
>unification as it relates to k. Can you please explain it a little more? Well, explaining is good, but the discoveries are experiential. Felt, not
analysed.. Hey, I'll be doing a workshop on the subject this weekend, might as well
work on my notes.. LOL!! You are three in one. Holy trinity.
  1) Your ego self, which is the normal "Nancy", who you think you are.. 2) your Spirit, or soul or higher self, which is genderless but usually
shows up looking a lot like you.. not always.. often as deity.. 3) and your unconscious self.. which is your ideal soul mate, and the
opposite gender of the body. I'll refer to it as your Mate, for simplicity..
  Your mate is not separate from your higher self.. Jung would tell you, that your unconscious is connected to the collective unconscious.. all that
is, and has ever been.. every lifetimes throughput human history.. this is where "past lives" are fished out from.. truly, there is only Now.
  Because your Mate is in touch with your higher self, and you are not, it is much smarter than you are, and it already knows everything that is gonna
happen in your life...:) It knows everything. Is everything... and it controls all of your perceptions, and every nerve and cell of your body.
  It breathes for you, it keeps your heart beating.. and filters every signal you get from all of your many senses into the perceptions that make
up the dream of your reality. It converts nerve impulses from your fingers into a recognition of the feel of silk.
  Ever see a stage hypnotist make a hand full of people think they are chickens? That is how completely your Mate controls your perceptions.
  Your unconscious can show up as anything.. I know someone whose male self shows up as a dragon, and I wrote to a guy yesterday who asked about this
giant blue woman with a claymore whom he has been having visions of.. Hee hee... he is Celtic.. I think she is a frost giant.
  It can show up as Shiva, or the Virgin Mary.. and this is not illusion.. thru the collective unconscious, it Is that.. it is everything.
  Because the mate is connected to the collective, and can show up as anything, it often will first introduce itself as a past life... and very
quickly attempt to seduce you. Since it controls your perceptions, this can be a lotta fun!! Usually accompanied with k-fire blasts.. :)
  This is where many of the tales of succubus/incubus come from.. the unconscious self seeking unity with the ego. When it has full control of
the body, during sleep.. If your ego was the moon, then your unconscious would be the sun, and
your higher self, the whole universe. Your Mate is in touch with infinity.. all of what you think you are, is a reflection of it;s brilliance.. which
you are kept separate from, by your ego.. which allows you to have the experience of being only Nancy.
  Now here's the tricky part.. this vast power, of the human unconscious mind, unified with divine power.. is a willing slave to the free will of
the ego. The ego, is comparatively very stupid. Like, a monkey is flying the space shuttle.. no wonder it crashes.. hand over the controls to your
mate, and your life will start to fly smoothly. Handing over control of your perceptions to another, outside of
yourself.. holy book or human.. can be pretty dangerous... but we always do it, anyways... watch TV, and go into trance.. and you will start to take
on the perceptions of the advertisers.. do they really have your best interests i mind? On the other side of the polarity, how deeply can you
crawl into the fantasy world of films or novels? Walk a mile in the author's moccasins, take on some more new perceptions.. I am giving you new
perceptions as you are reading this. Your free will, is to accept or refuse these perceptions, and decide for
yourself if they are right for you... and it is the path of K-fire to push against all of the energy blockages i your body.. which represent issues
and opinions of the ego of who Nancy thinks she is.. perceptions, again.. so that She notices them and says, "hey, I don't need to think like that
anymore, here, Goddess, it's yours." and surrender a little bit more free will.. clear a little more Karma... make the ego's veils a little weaker..
and the sacred marriage between you and your mate, giving birth to Goddess in You.. becomes more fruitful..:)
  You unconscious gives you whatever perceptions you ask for.. it loves you
unconditionally. Your every thought, is a prayer... remember it is unified with Goddess.. Goddess provides..
  The more you can reverse this process, by surrendering ego's will to divine will, the more your are opened to perceptions of being All that Is..
empathy. The ability to speak with the stars.. because you are one of them.. You are All that Is..
  You can begin this process, by thinking about the mate of your dreams,.. and imagining this idealized person clearly enough to have a conversation
with, in your mind. It will probably want to seduce you. Let it! from the union of the male and fem halves of your being, is born the child.. divine
androgyne.. Spirit, having a human experience. One way to think of it, is this.. one side of your body is male, the
other side is female, and the line of K-fire up your spine dividing the two, is Spirit. The more you surrender ego to spirit, the wider the line
gets.. because ego is becoming unified with unconscious, thru surrender.. male and fem unity creates the child.. which is the new reborn you.
   Everytime you give up an issue, emotion or opinion.. or anything.. and use your free will to surrender it to Goddess.. "Please, Goddess, take it,
it is yours.. " another blockage gets cleared, the k-fire moves a little smoother, a little wider.. and you become open to more new perceptions,
more grace, more peace, as a Thankyou from Goddess.
> >I really feel odd today. I'm productively going about my day, but it's like I
>feel like I'm ready to give birth to a new state of being for myself. Yes. You have agreed to be a vessel of spirit.. so spirit is moving in
and taking up residence..LOL! Just surrender your free will, and Goddess and your mate take care of everything else. Life just keeps getting
better.. "Ground crew" is a very kewl job!
>I can >feel my body vibrate subtly as the energy circulates. I can also feel others'
>energy wash over me. Our unconscious minds chat with each other all the time.. telepathy is
normal, but the ego doesn't usually get that information.. our higher selves get together and make out, and we are unaware..
> >I guess the one thing I've changed in the last couple of days is allowing
>myself to feel those around me. Maybe that's what has caused this energy shift.
  Yes. You surrendered to it.. and Goddess provides.
>Once today, I started feeling the angst of someone as my own and I did what >Angelique suggested and said, "Goddess, this is for you." I swear I felt a
>swoosh out the top of my head. Nice, isn't it? Fun to look over at the person it was coming from, and
see them straighten up a bit, as their unconscious rearranges them to accommodate the clearer energy. Change the world, by changing yourself.
>I'm feeling uncomfortable with this right now. Can anyone tell me--what is
>going on? >
>Nancy >
   hope that helps.... >
> Date: Wed, 02 Sep 1998 04:46:06 -0700
From: Bettie Mcadoo (by way of Mystress Angelique Serpent ) To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Kundalini/Lupus Message-Id:
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Greetings from your Atlanta Connection!
This is my first entry and I'm hoping that I'm doing it right.
The pain that you are experiencing doesn't have anything to do with Lupus. It truly is the "K" thing doing it's thing. I've had the same experience
with the pain shooting from the crown chakra . . down my neck and left shoulder, side and down my left leg. I could barely function. I have been
experiencing the opening of the chakras for maybe 15 years or better. While reading your entries my eyes started burning intensely and everything
was blurring. I am at work and keep crystals on hand. My guides told me to use crystals (especially the amethyst) to help decrease the pain. I
have some under my bed, mattress and all in my bedroom. The energy in my bedroom stays intensely hot. I have eat lots of fruit but the fruit
ferments quicker in my room quicker than any other room in my home.
Please don't apologize for sharing your pain. It's wonderful to have this source of which to share. I am asking for spirit intervention and healing
for you right now!!!!
Peace, Light & Love, Bettie
Sheistra (spiritual name)

If what is preached in the world's churches, synagogues, mosques, and temples was practiced by even a quarter of the folks who heard it all said
- what a different planet we would have.
     Johnetta B. Cole Date: Thu, 03 Sep 1998 20:22:52 PDT
From: "Mel August" To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com, paulwestATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk
Subject: Re: The shadow Message-ID:
Content-Type: text/plain
Paul wrote... >
>In some ways I feel that I don't know what to do, but I bet that >actually I do know. It is all written within me. There is a very hurt,
>hateful, evil, corrupt person inside of me that is attempting to share >the space with a very weak, fraudulent, pretentious, kind and
>attractive identity. None of them ever dare to look at the other. And >now I think I have birthed a third.
Once as a ritual for a circle I was involved with we did a mask making. On one side we made the mask of all of the things we consider to be
"good" about ourselves...on the other side we put all our "evil or weakness". After..we went around the circle and we explained what was on
our masks. Like I had representations of my family...my music.. my strength...my magick. Then we looked out through our "good" mask.
There was much love and warmth in the room...and we all felt wonderful. Then it was time to flip the mask over. And on the other side was...my
weakness in the face of abuse. My running from problems. My fear of being alone...being regected..not being good enough. So when I put that
mask up to my face...there was a black eye...and tears...and anger and horror...and fear. Now...do you think that the women in that room felt
less love for me as I cried? Do you think I felt less love for myself as I released all of that crap that I had been carrying around? Exactly the
opposite was true. That night I listened to all of those women speak of their darkness...and in the end...what we created was light. Accept all
of yourself...and you will become one again. Let it out in a safe and positive way...and you will find your way back
to yourself. Blessed Be and Safe Journeys...
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Date: Thu, 3 Sep 1998 23:36:47 EDT From: CKRESSATnospamaol.com
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com Subject: Kundalini Books
If anyone is interested, we've revised our Kundalini Book List on the Shared Transformation site to include brief reviews of each title:
El & C. Kress Date: Thu, 3 Sep 1998 20:38:46 -0700
From: "fuzzy" To:
Subject: unsubscribe Message-ID:
Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_002E_01BDD77A.D97A6120"

Date: Thu, 03 Sep 1998 21:07:57 PDT From: "Evelyn Niedbalec"
To: kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com Subject: Re: gurus
Message-ID: >
>Hi, >
>i wanted to open a discussion about this topic if that's ok because the >issue does seem to come up in various forms, the person giving
Shaktipat, >the person setting themselves up as a teacher etc.
I think it is a valid and important thing to discuss, gurus being a
often spoke of part of k. Here comes my Western influenced gut instinct type opinions on the matter of what my ideal guru would be like. Of
course, all gurus are human too.
> >i wanted to ask the list if thats ok and on topic
Yup. >
>What sort of person qualifies as a guru/teacher? Someone who gives to you for the joy of giving asking little in return.
One who can bring good things out of you that you did not know how to bring out yourself. ANd probably more stuff, but those are 2 that I can
find little exception to. >
>What sort of level of 'submission' is appropriate? I think they are entitled to high respect and to have each thing they
say listened to and considered with an open mind. One should attempt to work hard at the lessons of the guru. But one should be open to the
fact that one's path need not be identical to that of the guru and yet be equally valid. One should be free to not do what, after careful
contemplation, feels wrong to one. If it feels wrong, either it is wrong or you are just not ready and would do better to wait until you
understand better either way. The guru should not take this as an insult but as a learning experience.
> >Does seeing the guru as god/buddha whatever mean you have to obey them
>completly? Nope, you are not a slave.
>What does it mean to you to say you are so & so's student? (if you are >anyone's student :) )
My answers under "submission" pretty much sum it up. A guru is a person who teaches you as much as he/she can and you are to learn as much as
you can and be grateful. >
>i am someone's student. i do have a guru who is a Tibetan Khenpo (lama >with a degree from a Sanskrit college in India). while i think he is a
>living buddha i do not think it is wrong to ask questions about anything
>he asks me, or to sometimes say 'no i cant do that'.
Yes, I think this is correct. Curiosity is a great part of human nature which leads us forward. And true learning is not commanded, it is given
and taken freely.
Only once can i >remember he told me that i had to do something, and then i could see
that >yes, it was something i did indeed need.
Sounds like a good relationship. If you are lead too much, than you
lose the ability to think for yourself and find your own path. >
>Sometimes its karmically impossible to do something. Even if i want too!
You may think you want something, but really not know all the
consequences, or you may not learn as much by getting it as by going without, or you may not be ready yet.
> >what does this have to do with Kundalini? well, for me, all
>transmissions and blessing come from my guru. Do i mean the physical >person? yes and no. the yes part is pretty obvious i think. the no part
is >more like i have a innate buddha nature too. The qualities i see in my
>guru are also in me. So i think sometimes because of the nature of >interdependence, somethings come from 'outside' and osme from 'inside'
and >both a lot of the times.
I think a guru excites or encourages what is already there inside you.
He does not order his plant to grow, he waters it and tries to direct it to the sunlight, and waits to see what kind of plant it will become. He
is happy if the plant seeds and goes on the wind to another phase of life.
> >My friend told me a story of when she took our teacher to our local
Iskcon >temple's restaruant for dinner and he got into a long discussion (not
in >English) with one of the monks there. The Indian monk told my friend
"You >do very good with him". :) i love it when things like that confirm what
i >feel i already know.
> >ok i've blabbered enough....
> >--janpa tsomo
> Sounds like you have a good relationship with your guru.

Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com Date: Thu, 03 Sep 1998 21:28:06 PDT
From: "Evelyn Niedbalec" To: serpentATnospamdomin8rex.com, kcliffordATnospamodyssey.on.ca
Cc: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com Subject: Re: Is this part of the K experience?
Message-ID: >
>You would not believe the pressure feeling that suddenly came across my >third eye when I read this reply. Not sure why it just did. I felt my
>whole body drift to the right of me. I had to concentrate strongly to get
>myself back in before ???? what?? Somehow I would not be surprised if I
>just lost some time but I cannot be sure as I am not wearing my watch and I
>can't say I noticed the time on the computer....it does seem later though.
>Now the top of my head is having a feeling of opening up as well. Strange?
>and I am feeling very lightheaded. Maybe I am coming down with the flu? or
>the kundalini wants to play again >
Well that would be the weirdest flu wouldn't it!?!
Sounds like K to me. -E

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Date: Thu, 03 Sep 1998 21:46:27 PDT From: "Evelyn Niedbalec"
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com Subject: Re: The shadow
Message-ID: >
>Hi. >
>This morning I was introduced to my shadow. Not a pretty sight. >Actually there was no visual input but it is an experience in
>consciousness, the form of the consciousness, that relayed the full >extent of the hatred that was there.
Yeah, I had this happen to me early on. I had a mind travel type thing
in which I saw every nasty evil thing that lurks inside my mind. I was watching as an observer.
>Underneath the pleasantness and the niceness and the kindness and the
>attractiveness I have always deeply been eaten but hatred, anger, >aggression and all sorts of dark emotions, feelings and attitudes. I
>always hid these because I wanted to be nicer, kinder, more pleasant. >The worse this got the more it seemed I had to struggle to enforce my
I think all people have this crap on the underside. Greed, selfishness, desire, violence, etc. Some perhaps more than others. But when I hear
people say that oh no, they would never have such evil thoughts in their mind, I think they are just really good at hiding them from the
consciousness. These things are part of being human and to cover them over is not the way to control them. You have to see them and know them
and choose otherwise and be happy with your choice, and slowly they will lose their power. But I think they will always be there to test you
from time to time. No one is perfect.
Do not waste your time and energy in self loathing. Every soul goes through lifetimes in which they have much negativity and there will
always be those around you who have gone further and others who are behind you. Use your time and energy to understand yourself and what
ways your thinking gives these negative aspects their power. Do not compare yourself to others, compare yourself today to yourself yesterday
and work so that today's self wins over yesterday's self.
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Date: Fri, 4 Sep 1998 00:50:55 EDT From: ImtgxxxATnospamaol.com
To: kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com Subject: Re: The shadow
In a message dated 9/4/98 12:09:58 AM Eastern Daylight Time, nancyATnospamwtp.net writes:
< Feeling and expressing these "negative" emotions was very healing to me. I
 could finally be real. I could finally be me by feeling who I was!
And it was wonderful watching you grow from this! Right here, full screen, seeing Nancy bloom.
   >I think that this process for me was integrating the duality. Emotions
 aren't positive or negative. They just are. If we feel them, we feel them. Why try to pretend we don't?
You are soooo right. And no matter how peaceful our life and our minds are
that we've worked so hard to become more peaceful, they are still going to come up - gotta deal with them, feel them - regurgitate them and get them out
of our system.
 I like to look at the cause of the emotions now.... is it something I want to keep and continue doing that caused this? do I need it? do I have any gain
from it? (usually no... LOL) Can I learn something from these emotions to help me grow into a more peaceful, loving human being? What is it I can do
so that (XXX - whatever caused the emotional response, ie. words, doubts, etc.) never ever affects me again in this way?
These last few months for me have been rather rough dealing with much coming
up. But I'm learning from many of them and come out a wee bit more understanding of certain things afterwards. Its fasinating to watch. As much
as I do not like the emotions coming up, I welcome them now (in a strange kicking, screaming and crying sorta way), as I know I will grow from them.
I'm not ignoring them like I used to. I'm learning from them. EMOTIONS 101
Thanks for sharing Nancy. Your insights are always inspiring.
Love, xxxtg
* If confusion is the first step to knowledge, I must be a genius *

http://members.aol.com/Teeegeee/tgsplace.html .
Date: Thu, 03 Sep 1998 22:01:59 PDT From: "Evelyn Niedbalec"
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com Subject: Re: Enforced spirituality
Message-ID: You know, if you take note of the crappy threads and just delete them
all at the beginning before you start reading, the rest are really quite pleasant. Too bad that a few people feel it is necessary to argue in
public and force the rest of us to take the extra time... -E
>Hi Y'all! >
>I have to agree with Paul. I'm new to the list this week, and with all due
>respect, I've found this "bickering" not to be in the Spirit which I thought
>this list would evoke. I'm one for sure who would rather read and share
>"positive energies!" >
>Preston >

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