1998/07/17 03:20
kundalini-l-d Digest V98 #514
kundalini-l-d Digest Volume 98 : Issue 514
Today's Topics:
Meditation, chanting, and Shaktipat, [ "b bah" <happyhunaATnospamhotmail.com> ]
Re: awareness [ "Cathy Berger" <Cathy_BergerATnospamprodig ]
AutoPost from Kundalini Resource Cen [ "David W." <aries_ariseATnospamhotmail.com ]
AutoPost from Kundalini Resource Cen [ "David W." <aries_ariseATnospamhotmail.com ]
Re: figure 8 [ Lizard4663ATnospamaol.com ]
Re: throat chakra [ "THOMAS SMITH" <WHITEKNIGHT11ATnospamprodi ]
Re: Please read and respond [ "THOMAS SMITH" <WHITEKNIGHT11ATnospamprodi ]
Re: Please read and respond [ "THOMAS SMITH" <WHITEKNIGHT11ATnospamprodi ]
AutoPost from Kundalini Resource Cen [ Liz Gorman <Lizard4663ATnospamaol.com> ]
Re: Please read and respond [ "jim privacy" <jprivacyATnospamhotmail.com ]
Thanks [ esther steinacher <esther.steinache ]
town without pity [ valerie <madammumATnospamptialaska.net> ]
Kundalini & Manic Depressive disorde [ "Chuck O'Connell" <ChuckOConnellATnospamco ]
Hi David [ esther steinacher <esther.steinache ]
Re: Please read and respond [ starjunkyATnospamuswest.net ]
Date: Thu, 16 Jul 1998 12:51:11 PDT
From: "b bah" <happyhunaATnospamhotmail.com>
To: kundalini-pATnospamonelist.hotmail.com, K_goddessATnospamonelist.hotmail.com,
magneagaATnospammonet.no, kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com, margolisATnospamtransbay.net,
keutzerATnospamhotmail.com
Cc: happyhunaATnospamyahoo.com
Subject: Meditation, chanting, and Shaktipat, in US and Europe
Message-ID: <19980716195112.14975.qmailATnospamhotmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain
Hello ,
Just a message to advise San Francisco Bay Area list members
(and/or lurkers) of this coming weekend's kundalini yoga program in
Walnut Creek. Also a few events in rest of the world.
Friday evening: half hour chanting followed by meditation.
Saturday: same as Friday.
Sunday: Shaktipat, by appt. only, after having attended either
Fri. or Sat. nite meditation.
Shaktipat will be given by Shri Anandi Ma. She practices Kundalini
Mahayoga, and has several centers in the U.S. Her headquarters are in
Antioch, Ca. Tel. no. (510)757-9361. She will be in San Jose, Ca. next
weekend, (July 24,25,26).Later in yeaar in New Jersey, Woodbury Ct.
Switzerland, Italy, and Germany.
Her complete schedule is at: http://www.dyc.org/schedule.
Tel.no. for Walnut Creek contact person (Marcus) is (510) 549-1757.
There will also be two conferences and workshops: 1. Sacred
Teachings: Death, Dying and Beyond. (10/30-11/1, inWoodbury, CT. 2.
Kundalini, Astrology and Ayurveda Conference - (with Dr. Vasant Lad,
Pandit Pravinjii, and Shri anandi Ma) This wil be in Burlingame, Ca. on
11/20-11/22). No pre-reqs for either event, and both are open to the
public. Woodbury Ct contact is Jayshree at (203) 263-5318. Burlingame
contact is Nancy at (650) 726-5865. Sincerely
hope this isn't considered off topic by any of list masters or worse yet
don't consider this spamming, 'cause I feel all us Lil semi-lost lambs,
newbie or elder K-lites, etc. need and or like
all the info, guidance, and help we can get. Right?? Know I sure do.
Apologizing for lenght, Aloha, barb
______________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com
Date: Thu, 16 Jul 1998 16:28:07 -0400
From: "Cathy Berger" <Cathy_BergerATnospamprodigy.net>
To: "Paul West" <paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk>, <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com>
Subject: Re: awareness
Message-ID: <000001bdb0f8$7d32c860$6c5a9cd1ATnospamcathyber.TOMEN.COM>
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
Paul West: Yesterday I experienced something perhaps for the first
time in my life. I felt that I was aware of being aware. Is that what
you mean about meditative state or spirit?
Cathy: That's a start, Paul. When I can't meditate, I remember to
simply observe. I have a little joke I tell myself: "Think Yogi
Berra: 'You can observe a lot just by watching.' " :-)) [Hope
you've heard of Yogi out there in England; he's quite famous in the
States.]
Focusing on the chakras, one by one, until reaching the brow, or
third eye chakra, helps me to meditate more deeply. When I've really
connected, I strongly feel the presence of my higher self, and it is
a great comfort. Any sadness disappears. It's a feeling of relief
and relaxation, like soaking in a hot bath. This is a passive state,
where I simply attune to my spirit, and sometimes "hear" any message
it wants me to know, or sometimes I ask a question. At these times,
I don't feel alone, for I am joined by myself. If this ever happens
to you, you will know it. Your mind might try to imagine itself as a
receiver, tuning in or searching the air waves for a divine signal.
Keep trying, and don't get discouraged.
Cathy
Date: Thu, 16 Jul 1998 10:44:29 -1000 (HST)
From: "David W." <aries_ariseATnospamhotmail.com>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: AutoPost from Kundalini Resource Center
Message-Id: <199807162044.KAA15102ATnospamhaleakala.aloha.net>
Hello. I'm wondering if any on this list could e-mail me personally and tell me whether what I'm living is kundalini related or not.
First some background on me. :) I'm 25 now, a young man living in Canada. I'm quite trim and fit. As a child I was considered very "sensitive" because I would cry over sad things and wouldn't fight or be mean like other boys. I had lots of friends but was very lonely. At 13 I hit a depression stage that secretly lasted for about ten years. Secretly because I wouldn't admit I was depressed. I have always loved trees and people. In fact, I'm wracked with the confusing dellemia that all I want is peace for humankind, but I'm so disturbed by what we do!
Anyway, I'm a musician and made a "carrer" out of it for a few years. Two years ago I started having panic attacks. All my syblings get them. I seem to have learned control over the panic attacks now. While living in Victoria up until a few months ago, though, I was paranoid and losing it all the time, shaking and feeling like I was dying, constantly. One night, after watching the X-files" I awoke at 2:00am shaking so violently I couldn't talk. My girlfriend helped me. I couldn't walk the streets and felt 24 hours in some electric-like altered state. My girlfriend was diagnosed as diabetic and once she was I started having low-blood-sugar reactions. I became insanely paranoid about my health and have realized over time that I can make myself physically sick by just concentrating on it.
Now I am in the small town I grew up in and am calming down. :) I dream constantly on the same theme. Somebody does something horribly wrong (murder, steals, whatever) and I find myself in a place to avenge it. Sometimes I do horribly violent things in these drrams and sometimes I struggle with myself to not avenge...
I have never hurt anyone in my life and get angry when people kill bugs that they could simply put back outside. Bugs are our friends, too. :)
I wonder now, as I read about kundalini, because of a few things. One: I have many planets in the eight house of my astrology chart, which they say is the house of kundalini. Two: a new age woman I once knew said stuff about my kundalini (not that I knew what she meant) and Three: I've always had a deep fear that there was a power inside me that, if unleashed, could be terribly destructive. It's a fear I can'yt talk to anybody about because everybody sees me as a role model of positivity and meekness.
Please e-mail me if you have anything to say that could help me in this trying period of my life... :) I would be ever so grateful. aries_ariseATnospamhotmail.com
Date: Thu, 16 Jul 1998 10:54:48 -1000 (HST)
From: "David W." <aries_ariseATnospamhotmail.com>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: AutoPost from Kundalini Resource Center
Message-Id: <199807162054.KAA20494ATnospamhaleakala.aloha.net>
p.s. I'm constantly getting strange pains, especially in my chest.
More headaches then ever. I have noticed though, that when I'm totally happy, I'm completely unaware of any
paranoia, feelings of looming death or strange pains... :) Is this kundalini or
just something else? :)
Date: Thu, 16 Jul 1998 17:24:26 EDT
From: Lizard4663ATnospamaol.com
To: YoniDakaATnospamwebtv.net
Cc: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: figure 8
Message-ID: <b5db8633.35ae6f8bATnospamaol.com>
Okay you guys, I know about the area code.
I have figured out that 701, in gematria, is the number of the archangels. As
my guru's "number" is 10 off his corresponding number in gematria, I am
thinking I have figured it out.
Liz
Date: Thu, 16 Jul 1998 17:32:13 -0400
From: "THOMAS SMITH" <WHITEKNIGHT11ATnospamprodigy.net>
To: <MoonDghtrATnospamaol.com>, <serpentATnospamdomin8rex.com>
Cc: <kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com>
Subject: Re: throat chakra
Message-ID: <01bdb101$326f98e0$1b5d9cd1ATnospamauthoriu>
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
<< Generally speaking, a blocked throat chakra has to do with feeling safe
to speak your mind. Are there places in your personal history where you were
punished or suffered because you spoke out? Or because you did not? Did you
make some personal resolutions about how you would express yourself? >>
Judy....
This can include self-punishment also and many times when one is punished
from an outside source they begin to believe that they are truly bad...
Working through this myself and with others I have found that finding a
trusting non-judgemental person to speak with and share your true inner
feelings is wonderful. With this person you will need to learn to open up,
not such an easy task sometimes.
> I was always opinionated and outspoken as a child...and punished for it.
Once you open up I expect your inner child will become extremely happy and
wish to freely play and have FUN once again. Do not be so concerned of when
your throat chakra opens, it shall take time to heal. Allow it to become a
guide get in touch with your throat chakra. How does it feel when you wish
to express yourself but don't? How does it feel when you express yourself?
Become conscious of it...use it as a tool, a part of You.
>Eventually, I learned to be quiet and now I have trouble speaking up
>when I have to because its what I learned to do to survive. In fact, I've
>never been able to tell friends my deepest emotions.
Learning to open up is wonderful, I suggest you find a group of people you
share an interest with whom, speak openly, sharing inner experiences. Reiki
Healing groups are such a group, if you know of one or ask around. Reiki
friends believe in unconditional love....just a thought. <S>
> People sometimes think I'm aloof or stand-offish...it's just my
protective armor. Now, I just can't
>break free of it.
What is there to break free of? Learn to look at your inner beliefs there
you shall find your reality. If you believe that you just can't break free,
you won't. Take a look at that and you shall find yourself....Who You Wish
To Be.
Namaste'
Tom nn WhiteKnight
Reiki Master/Teacher
ICQ ID# 6565880
Date: Thu, 16 Jul 1998 17:45:27 -0400
From: "THOMAS SMITH" <WHITEKNIGHT11ATnospamprodigy.net>
To: "Paul Torres" <island_11ATnospamhotmail.com>, <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com>
Subject: Re: Please read and respond
Message-ID: <01bdb103$0b818de0$1b5d9cd1ATnospamauthoriu>
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
Paul...
I suggest reading "A Nature Of Personal Reality: A Seth Book"
by Jane Roberts
Tom
Date: Thu, 16 Jul 1998 17:51:17 -0400
From: "THOMAS SMITH" <WHITEKNIGHT11ATnospamprodigy.net>
To: "Cathy Berger" <bergerATnospamnyc.tomen.com>,
"Paul Torres" <island_11ATnospamhotmail.com>, <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com>
Subject: Re: Please read and respond
Message-ID: <01bdb103$dc7957c0$1b5d9cd1ATnospamauthoriu>
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
Cathy....
There are some out that listen, unconditionally.
If you ever need to talk I am of service as are others.
Namaste'
Tom
ICQ ID# 6565880
-----Original Message-----
>Hi Paul,
>
>Tell me, am I projecting my feelings on to you, or do you feel very
>alone, even in a room full of people. I often feel sad because I
>know no one to share the truth of my life with.
>
>The only peace and comfort I know for this sadness is in reaching out
>to spirit. Reaching the meditative state where you feel connected at
>last to "yourself".
>
>Love
>
>Cathy
Date: Thu, 16 Jul 1998 12:22:13 -1000 (HST)
From: Liz Gorman <Lizard4663ATnospamaol.com>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: AutoPost from Kundalini Resource Center
Message-Id: <199807162222.MAA28379ATnospamhaleakala.aloha.net>
My Kundalini experience started almost 3 years ago. I felt a "burning" in the small of my back, after "seeing" a big black ??? hovering around me. Later that evening, as I was falling asleep, I felt electricity going up my spine and down the front of me. This led to: cessation of asthma, telepathic conversations, visits from demons (horrible) and finally, visit to psych hospital and medication for "hallucinations". The demons were a part of my life and there was no escaping them. I am now fine, for the most part, no meds, feel "electric" often, have OBOs, brain function has increased, feel at peace.
Liz
Date: Thu, 16 Jul 1998 17:15:08 PDT
From: "jim privacy" <jprivacyATnospamhotmail.com>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Cc: bergerATnospamnyc.tomen.com, island_11ATnospamhotmail.com
Subject: Re: Please read and respond
Message-ID: <19980717001509.3525.qmailATnospamhotmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain
From: "THOMAS SMITH" <WHITEKNIGHT11ATnospamprodigy.net>
To: "Cathy Berger" <bergerATnospamnyc.tomen.com>,
"Paul Torres" <island_11ATnospamhotmail.com>, <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com>
Subject: Re: Please read and respond
Date: Thu, 16 Jul 1998 17:51:17 -0400
Cathy....
There are some out that listen, unconditionally.
If you ever need to talk I am of service as are others.
Namaste'
Tom
ICQ ID# 6565880
Dear Paul Torres and Cathy:
I will second that comment. Feel free to Email me anytime, if you need a
listening ear.
Love, -Jim
-----Original Message-----
>Hi Paul,
>
>Tell me, am I projecting my feelings on to you, or do you feel very
>alone, even in a room full of people. I often feel sad because I
>know no one to share the truth of my life with.
>
>The only peace and comfort I know for this sadness is in reaching out
>to spirit. Reaching the meditative state where you feel connected at
>last to "yourself".
>
>Love
>
>Cathy
______________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com
Date: Fri, 17 Jul 1998 15:28:09 +0500
From: esther steinacher <esther.steinacherATnospamxtra.co.nz>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Thanks
Message-ID: <35AF2739.5EC1ATnospamxtra.co.nz>
Thank you all for replying to newbie needs,I did not expect to see my
post 3 times and fear struck my heart,"Chasing chasing life times
through Goddess Godess I love you"on and on over and over,Without end, I
hope to work it out,please stop my sister im only just behind,oh thats
right there was something about bareing breast for children too,"under
construction"We,ll see Love to you all, " chuckle"
Earle
Date: Thu, 16 Jul 1998 19:38:33 -0800
From: valerie <madammumATnospamptialaska.net>
To: kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com
Subject: town without pity
Message-ID: <35AEC73B.44766E4EATnospamptialaska.net>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii; x-mac-type="54455854"; x-mac-creator="4D4F5353"
i wonder if anyone has an opinion - do we get our sense of
'self-identity' from within, or is it how we are reflected within
'community'? if - we just go inside & 'merge with oneness', how do we
translate that into business relations within a community (NOT anyone
else in this community who pays ANY attention to their own soul)?
I'm being thwarted & battered by forces of *ego* & greed around here...
thanx in advance for any ideas.
vc
--
"God is hiding in the world and our task is to let the divine emerge
from our deeds."
Abraham Joshua Heschel
valerie cooper
ICQ#4174426
http://geocities.com/soho/7982
Date: Fri, 17 Jul 1998 01:03:44 -0400
From: "Chuck O'Connell" <ChuckOConnellATnospamcompuserve.com>
To: k-list <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com>
Subject: Kundalini & Manic Depressive disorder.
Message-ID: <199807170104_MC2-535F-B14DATnospamcompuserve.com>
Content-Disposition: inline
>>
Has anyone out there who has been through kundalini have a case of
manic-depression
or depression due to a chemical imbalance (or maybe chakra imbalance).
What has happened
to you since you have gone through kundalini. Have you overcome your
depression or
have the symptoms disappeared or does it help with these new energies to
cope with your
depression. Whenever I first started meditating I did it with the
intention of curing this illness
(if it does I can help a lot of people). Has anyone out there recovered
from either depression
or manic-depression. How does Kundalini affect people who are depressed.
Thank you for your comments. Gregory Howard
<<
Hi Gregory,
I can only tell you that 20 years ago I began to dabble with
'psycho-spiritual' things that
I didn't understand. In retrospect I see that when I started these
practices (without help
or guidance of any sort) is when my life began to fall apart. I started to
drink and things
just got worse. I sought professional help and was diagnosed
'Manic-Depressive Disorder'.
I took lithium for a while. Finally I stopped drinking, that helped some,
I stopped dabbling
in the 'psycho-spiritual' and I got connected to people again. I also
stopped taking lithium.
I did things with my life that made me feel worthy. Then the MDD went away
on its own.
(I have recently discovered that I have Attention Deficit Disorder - I
suggest you persue
that possibility - I strongly urge it.... It's not a problem now because
I've developed
coping mechanisms, but it was a real self-esteem killer when I was a kid
and set me up
for a lot of negative thinking - which later got invoked and appeared as
MDD. A lot of ADD
people have been misdiagnosed as MDD. By the way if anybody tells you
there is no such
thing as ADD just walk away from them. I find that if some people haven't
experienced it
you can't convince them. I know it is real. I deal with it every day - in
both myself and my son.)
I understand now (and experience) that 'raising kundalini' can **really**
wreak havoc with your mind.
You *must* keep your feet on the ground and not let the mental angst which
sometimes
comes overwhelm you.
Kundalini may not be the tool you want to use to 'cure' MDD.
I would suggest first admitting to yourself what you really are - both
good and bad.
Start practicing 'mental calming' through meditation - nothing too intense.
Find your 'center' and learn to get there in an instant.
Get there whenever you need to. If someone is in your face get to center
and listen to a song in your head as they rage. Don't take in others
negative thoughts.
Above all do not allow yourself to get into the rut of negative thinking.
You must also get some exercise, eat reasonably and *get enough sleep*!
I repeat again *get enough sleep*. Did I mention getting enough sleep?
Don't get too much though...
The real key for me was to 'normalize' my life. Everything in moderation.
Living away from your 'center' leads to inner turmoil.
Living near your 'center' leads to inner peace.
Does kundalini help? It can, but it can also cause problems.
I wouldn't try to use it now if I were you.
Does meditation help? Yes, especially if you use it to get and stay
centered.
Meditation will also help you examine who you are. There is peace in the
acceptance of the truth. Once you are free of the 'lies' you believe about
yourself (and we all have them) you can begin to improve and change.
Once you start to 'improve yourself' then self esteem and self control show
up.
Once you are settled and feel good, your life straightens out. Then you
can
begin to dismantle your ego and start seeking enlightenment. (I not there
yet
but I'm still trying!).
Dismantling the ego and clearing karma are some of the
things that kundalini does. They will throw you into disarray - but you
will now be
able to deal with it!
I prefer to use Raja Yoga techniques as opposed to 'raising snakes' -
Raja Yoga
gives a path and tools to move toward enlightenment - without the grief
that
kundalini sometimes brings. I think the ancient ones called kundalini a
serpent
not only because it lies 'coiled' at the base of the spine and the spine
and the
Ida and Pingala nadis have the general shape of a snake, but also because
SNAKES BITE!
Don't get me wrong - k is a wonderful thing. I must say though that if I
invoke it
too often I start to feel *very* emotionally out of sorts. Things *really*
bother me.
Not only that but the world seem to start activating just the very things
that
disturb me - I call it the 'Shakti-Whack'.
Lastly - keep a copy of 'Desiderata' around. It helps.
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant,
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of
trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is perennial as the grass.
Take kindly to the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome
discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
I'm sorry about the length of this post folks, but I thought it was needed.
Say, where is Lobster lately? Did he go to a clambake by mistake?
Be caught, Be cooked, Be Tasty!
Peace,
Chuck.
Date: Fri, 17 Jul 1998 17:37:12 +0500
From: esther steinacher <esther.steinacherATnospamxtra.co.nz>
To: aries_ariseATnospamhotmail.com
CC: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Hi David
Message-ID: <35AF4578.167FATnospamxtra.co.nz>
Hi Dave my heart goes out to you,Think bugs have to reincarnate to and
like the saying goes s--t happens you take one step and you cant help
killing thousands of things small as they may be there still alive
There is no need to avenge anything people do this to themselves
acountability does exist,So does Christ its how it is give your self a
break, My advice for any one wired with K is if meditation is not giving
you the rest you require go to the Doc and get some knock out drops
things can look awhole lot different with a good rest,believe me ,as to
the sensitivity I too can connect and feel anothers pain physicaly the
trick is to keep those emotions under control as an introvert this is
what ive been doing all my life just to be comfortable, give your self
abreak stand off a little
kind regards
Earle
Date: Thu, 16 Jul 1998 14:06:00 -0600
From: starjunkyATnospamuswest.net
To: "kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com" <kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com>
Subject: Re: Please read and respond
Message-ID: <35AE5D23.672CA176ATnospamuswest.net>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii; x-mac-type="54455854"; x-mac-creator="4D4F5353"
Paul Torres wrote:
> Hello all, I am going through some tough times right now, I am losing
> myself, but I am on my way back to the path. I do wish to know however
> what a fairly objective opinion of my status in relation to kundalini
> awakening. If anyone feels qualified to respond as this voice, I would
> deeply appreciate your input. This is a curiosity of mine, but I do not
> really need a response.
Do you still feel lost ? What's your personal defination of kundalini ?
> On a typical day of mine, I go to work, and hang out with my friends
> at night.
Aimee:Are these long time friends?
> I am able to use
Aimee: How do you Use these exactly ? Do you have a choice?
> what are regarded as psyhcic powers to read
> others very well. I am even able to see people's actions before they do
> them,
Aimee: Do you mean you can lead people into doing things (cause how you
talk it sounds like you feel guilty) or you can read peoples intentions
? Please write me back.
> and sometimes I am able to read thoughts,(proof is next to
> impossible, but that is obvious.)
Aimee: How do you read thoughts by subtle bodylanguage or thoughts in the
air . Do you catch them as visions or words in your head ?
> Sometimes I get caught up in extra
> sensory information, such as the constant lights, colors, sounds, and
> pressure waves that I feel.
Aimee: Do you dim lights? Do you do psychedellics ?
> These pressure waves as I call them feel
> like I am in the ocean, but it is made up of energy instead of water. I
> am able to be going through an emotional crisis, and somehow my
> consciousness seperates into the part that is emotionally distressed,
> and this third person omniscient point of view; where my personal
> troubles are still mine, yet part of a picture that I am gazing at.
Aimee: Does this part of you feel distressed. ?
> I
> have yet to come upon a concept that I could not understand. (an
> example is the fact that I read, and enjoyed the concepts of Stephen
> Hawking's A BRIEF HISTORY OF TIME when only in seventh grade.) I have
> had dreams that have told me about events happening now to me. I
> sometimes get pressures inside of my head which seems to feed from my
> body, but does not indclude the top of my head.
Aimee:Does this happen around your friends?
>
> This pressure then
> causes a weird sensation of energy at my third eye. I have never had
> the rushing up my spine,nor any other classic symptoms, but I have had
> visions and the inaudible voices since I was very young. (This may
> point to an early awakening that happened to an unaware child.)
Aimee: What age do you think was your first experience and what caused it
if any?
> I have
> not met anyone yet who I can truly regard as an intellectual superior,
> but perhaps I am too arrogant.
Aimee: You just make me want to challange your intellect thats all I dont
judge you probably because you already judge your self. I dont think your
arrogant
> I realize however that through
> experience there are many out there who are smarter than I.
> Before I close, I would like to say a few things that may be
> detrimental to the responses given to me. I wish that the totality of
> the truth about myself, given to all of you from this letter, may prove
> to be enough so that I may recieve helpful responses.
> If anyone has read my profile it says that I am over thirty, but I am
> only ninteen.
Aimee: Why would you lie ? I've never read your profile but I felt that
you were over 30. That's strange. If your for real and are only 19 I
feel for you. If not dont lie. I've been burned by liars and I don't give
myself anymore I feel like something has been taken from me. So you'll
have to write me. My experiences started at 19. I feel like I'm 19 still.
> I have not lied about my experiences, and have taken this
> list very seriously. I hope that this does not cause anyone to lose
> faith in the act of sharing.
Aimee: If you didnt lie I dont understand why it would cause anyone to
lose faith in the act of sharing ?
> I would like to take this opportunity to
> express some feelings about this list;
> I have grown attached to the outlet that you have all allowed me, but
> I may have to leave soon.
Aimee: Why do you have to go now that youve finally got here?
> I feel a great love for all of you because we
> are all on the same path. We are all doing our best to find the truth.
> Some say that it will set us free, with this as my hope, I shall
> continue my search, as I hope all of you will.
> Thank you all for your time, and I hope that whatever influence that I
> had was a good one. If not then my deepest apologies are sent to all of
> you. Perhaps I shall meet you all some day.
Aimee:You know it .
> Until then, good journey,
> Paul Torres
Ok now you have to write me back.Peace
Aimee
> ______________________
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