1998/04/21  07:34  
 kundalini-l-d Digest V98 #315 
  
kundalini-l-d Digest				Volume 98 : Issue 315
 
Today's Topics: 
  loba's neverending intro last part h  [ "loba kola" <lobakolaATnospamcsrlink.net> ] 
  Re: kundalini arising                 [ "Sharon Ligler" <sliglerATnospamhotmail.co ] 
  Re: Head tingles....was...Re: Introd  [ PEGLUMPKIN <PEGLUMPKINATnospamaol.com> ] 
  Re: Head tingles....was...Re: Introd  [ "Sharon Webb" <shawebbATnospamyhc.edu> ] 
  Re: loba's prelude                    [ MMeyers541 <MMeyers541ATnospamaol.com> ] 
  Re: just so you know                  [ "Brent Blalock" <blal0004ATnospammaroon.tc ] 
  hugs for all                          [ melintonATnospamalison.sbc.edu ] 
  The past                              [ "Paul West" <paulATnospamstationone.demon. ] 
  Pleasure                              [ Paul West <paulATnospamstationone.demon.co ] 
  Re: loba's prelude                    [ Jeanne Garner <jeannegATnospamicon.net> ] 
  Re: Truth and Love                    [ Jerry Katz <umbadaATnospamns.sympatico.ca> ] 
Date: Tue, 21 Apr 1998 00:09:37 -0400 
From: "loba kola" <lobakolaATnospamcsrlink.net> 
To: <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com> 
Subject: loba's neverending intro last part hooray :) some personal wierdness 
Message-ID: <039a01bd6cdb$4d676020$645cadd1ATnospamrocksoup> 
Content-Type: text/plain; 
 charset="iso-8859-1" 
 
hey!  come on, it aint that bad!  :)  i need your input  :)
 
aside from the lucid dream states with other presences present, i have been 
visited in these states by a deceased four-legged best friend, a deceased 
two-legged best friend, and my deceased grandmother.  and two weeks before 
my grandmother died, i dreamed i was facing the woods at night waiting.  an 
owl flew out and stood before me.  as tall as me, she fluffed her feathers 
and blinked her eyes and looked to her right.  then looked back to me and 
did it again.  i knew she was a messenger to tell me someone was going to 
die.  two weeks later nanny did die.  i have many strange dreams, most of 
them have animals in them.  animals are very central to my being.  an 
example:  i came home one day from doing laundry and a baby pigeon was lying 
on her belly against my front door just looking up at me like 'its about 
time you got home'.  she just knew where to go.  in a stray cat and pet dog 
neighborhood, how that creature made it is remarkable.  i scooped her up. 
brought her inside.  saw that she couldnt put weight on her left leg.  i 
thought it was broke.  then i felt a small pain throb in my left foot about 
where all the bones and tendons kind of meet.  i looked more closely at her 
leg and foot.  it wasnt her leg, it was her foot.  right where my own pain 
was, was where her foot was touchy.  she mustve flew too soon and crash 
landed.  she had her adult grey feathers but still had all her yellow baby 
down poking out.  so we gave her the kitchen (already had a big dog, two 
cats, and two indoor litter trained rabbits in the rest of the house----i 
take in the abused or homeless i find or my family brings to me).  gus was 
flying the next day in the kitchen.   she would land on my head as i entered 
the room and do her baby peeping frantically as if she just didnt eat 5 
minutes ago.  gus was her name, and on the 9th day gus was still a little 
gimpy but she could walk now.  so we went outside, me with a pigeon on my 
shoulder, and i tried to get her to fly.  her family flew in close and 
watched her.  she froze.  i'd plop her off me, she'd fly to the ground, and 
then back up on my head.  not ready.  this went on for 3 more days.  on that 
last day, i took her out and she finally flew up to a phone line, it was a 
wobbly hold she had on it, and flew back down to my arm.  just for a minute. 
to say goodbye.  and then flew to the abandoned bldg out back to join her 
family.  every now and then a pigeon with her markings follows the car as i 
drive around and pull in, landing on spots here and there along the way.  i 
wonder how she sees me.  not just how she knows its me, but what do i look 
like to her?  how did she know to come to me?  thats what i want to work on 
more so that other animals know to come to me when they need help.
 
as for the electricity wierdness and visual enhancement, those things became 
pronounced after my car accident.  i was a sleeping passenger in a small 
pickup that went down into a drainage culvert, rolled over, and slammed into 
a cement drain outlet.  my right hip dislocated; left collarbone separated; 
left bent leg went through the windshield, skidded on the ground outside, 
and snapped back in through; right jaw almost dislocated (must be pretty 
springy :) but when it was shoved over to the left, my teeth bit down 
through all the way and i had two more holes under my bottom lip like 
mouths;  right wrist broken, the pinky finger on that hand two rotation 
fractures (finger kind of 'unscrewed' in two different places and was 
sitting on my palm); head and neck injuries up the wazoo; and chest wall 
fractures from manual cpr in the er later.  i had some amnesia, wasnt sure 
who the voice belonged to as my boyfriend talked to me.  i kept losing 
consciousness.  i felt like a calmer, wiser, very much older me was standing 
behind me holding on to me.  i kind of knew i was in an accident.  rescue 
crews got there and i could hear them, but i could not see any human.  i 
could see darkness, lights, and red lights.  i couldnt understand too much 
of what they were saying, it was like a foreign language.  but i understood 
my name, michele.  it shook my soul to hear it.  dont know why.  terrified 
me like it didnt belong to me.  they tried to keep me conscious and i felt 
like i was dangling in a hole holding myself up with my elbows (i was under 
the dash).  i knew not where i had been going to , where i was, who i was, 
nothing.  but i smelled earth.  so sweet.  so strong.  so moist.  sweet 
strong moist earth like ferns on a forest floor.  i knew what it was, it was 
dirt, soil, earth, and i held on to the scent for dear life.  it was my 
anchor. it was the only thing i *knew.*  they pulled me out and i became 
conscious in the helicopter.  i still couldnt see a human.  just the gear 
the guy wore.  i thought i had died in the helicopter because i tried to 
talk and he didnt hear me.  i lost consciousness again and regained it in 
the er.  now i could see humans, kind of.  they had descended upon me, this 
large group of quickly moving people.  they had masks on, but i could see 
their eyes.  an er nurse named burt  brought me back twice.  evidently, they 
had me on morphine which isnt a terrific thing to have someone with a head 
injury on.  i began to feel as though i was floating in a warm tub of water. 
very relaxed.  very safe.  very tired.  i was just going to go with it and 
think about things later.  i heard burts voice very far away calling my name 
and felt a shoving/shaking of my body and a tugging on my left arm.   her 
voice got closer and closer and the tugging became more sensory.  i opened 
my eyes and she was looking at me with her mask on and she said, "there she 
is, shes back"  and she patted my arm.  more pain now with the crew pulling 
and tugging and cutting and setting and then the warm floating again.  this 
time burts voice took longer to get to me and when i heard it, she sounded 
angry like my mother did when i was a child in trouble.  i listened to her 
and she kept yelling my name and she sounded angry.  i listened and then 
felt the tugging and pulling/shoving and came back again.  this time she 
said, "thats it, get her off of it"  and looked at me and said, "there you 
are ok ok." 
i spent a month in the hospital.  a year in physical therapy.  during that 
year (95 &96) i developed a purring vibration in my chest.  so strong it 
made me cough.  checked it out and everything was ok.  but the purring is 
there still now and then.  the head tingles happen now and then, but they 
have since i was a child.  like warm water is suddenly poured down over your 
head.  but an ichy spot in the back drives me batty.  i could scratch my 
skin off there.  nothing is there.  it may be some glass in there or 
something, though.  im back to my big haired tall skinny chick self though, 
physically.  spiritually, mentally, i was already wierd :)  now im wierder 
:)  they did a cat scan.  i fell asleep.  i woke to hear my spanish accented 
neurologist saying, "ab nom al.  your brain is ab nom al."  what did you 
say?  "let me put it this way, the left side of your brain is working like 
this"  (held her hands about four inches apart).  "the right side of your 
brain is working like this"  (held her hands all the way out at her sides as 
far as theyd go).  i said, "hm.  left side, logic, history, math, 
science----never used that side.  dont need it.  dont worry about it"  :) 
im an artist.  i write (poetry).  i paint.  i play with clay.  i sometimes 
try to make candles.  i want to make soap.  im a vegan.  my paternal 
grandmother was of cherokee lineage.  i talk to animals and they talk back. 
i worked and cried and prayed to mother earth and great spirit to save my 
beloved old grandfather pine that saved my brothers from dying in the last 
flood by reaching out its branches and grabbing hold of the house that was 
ripped of its foundation and was tipping over with my brothers on the roof. 
i love being in dreamland.  i live on chocolate.  i drink colors like the 
woman on this or another list does, and i inhale sounds.   what do all these 
things have to do with left brain?  i dont know!  :)  what do i need the 
left side for?  heeheheheh i still am a little goofy----absent minded (ought 
to be real fun whenever i decide to finish school....) but i have this weird 
electrical thing going now.  i get shocks off of everything.  people, 
fourleggeds, things, sometimes silverware.  placing a fork into an aluminum 
sink sends a shock up it to my hand.  no matter whos sink it is.  i get 
shocks off of everyones car door.  my desktop crashed so many times im on a 
laptop now.  now this is starting to act up.  the vcr is fried.  it is a 
running joke how, i swear on nannys grave, if i am near the vcr, it will not 
work properly for my boyfreind who is trying to coax a tape from it.  i have 
to leave the room.  then it releases it.  i fried the previously checked out 
and perfect car's alternator.   i see what looks like smoke around peoples 
hands, especially my own.  and especially when im holding silverware or 
pens.  the smoke is around the silverware and pens too.  it trails.  i 
sometimes can see humidity on top of peoples heads.  i think of small 
things, scenarios, and they end up happening.  once it was that a certain 
someone was going to walk up to me and grab my basket at the grocery store 
and carry it for me, even though they would not ordinarily be there that 
night and they did just that.  or i think of the phone ringing and who it 
will be and it does and it is the one i thought itd be.  i see scenes play 
out, imaginings, and they play out nearly word for word.  in that respect, i 
feel like i could acheive anything just by thinking it and visualizing it, 
which i do believe in.  but i dont do that.  i feel like my feet are stuck 
in the mud.  like i could get out if i tried hard enough, or i could just 
stay there.  i get adrenaline surges now and then triggered by the scent of 
wind, a sound, something unnameble, that signal to me that 'my pack' are out 
there waiting for me to find them.  synchronicity is almost hilarious in my 
life.  i will be writing a word, say 'eyelash' or something, and as im 
writing it, someone on the tv or radio will say it.  this happens several 
times a day.  or i'll be searching for a word, a theory, and someone will 
email me or call me about something or visit and in the communications will 
be that word or something pertaining to that theory.  i guess thats why ive 
sought you groups out.  all things are connected.  you all are connected 
even to my rocks and i to your tingles :)  so now what?  i was going to 
unsub from both groups i speak of because i did not intro myself and saw it 
as a daunting task.  i wanted to communicate, not just lurk, but i just 
couldnt bring myself to intro my self.  so i stayed and wrote to you hoping 
for connection.  i am not familiar with the techniques or the breathing 
exercises or the terms you use.  but i have felt very odd and on the 
periphery since the begining of my life.  even in the middle of a ton of 
friends, i feel 'out there' somewhere.  when i was 3 there was a commercial 
running on tv of quasar vaccum cleaners.  it showed a vacuum cleaner 
traveling through space and a beam of light quasar would shoot down onto the 
vacuum cleaner and a womans voice would resonate, "quay-zarrrrrr" and i 
would run to the tv and say in the same tone and pitch, "rea-dyyyy" and hold 
my arms up in the air like little kids do when they want picked up.  i 
discarded words i learned for things for the words i knew the things to be. 
my mother said i had a completley different vocabulary in some respects. 
for example, i insisted that vitamins were "bickle bickles."  i told you i 
was weird.
 
im not sure that i like this next part:  god i hope its not me doing 
something negative.  if an animal is going to die, it does so after ive 
touched them.  i visited my friend and her little 4 year old boy.  he had 
hampsters.  i felt sorry for them.  they werent really paid attention to 
other than to be mauled.  i picked them up and kissed one and wished them 
well.  the next day mikey tells me i killed his hampster.  the one i kissed 
was dead.  another time, their birds were flying around.  parakeets.  one i 
called boogie bird because she was scaggy, picking all her feathers out and 
just looking a mess.  but she was the friendliest.  the smartest.  she 
always flew to me when i showed up and said hello.  i hadnt seen my friends 
and their animal friends in over a year when they told me on the phone 
boogie bird was acting funny.  she seemed fine when i finally saw her.  she 
hung out on my shoulder and walked around with me.  next day she was dead. 
like she waited to see me to die.  another time, the horses across from my 
boyfreinds parents house were out and i went over and took photos and talked 
to them.  one mare was old.  i talked to her a lot.  "yr tired, arent you 
honey?"  sweet old girl.  i patted her and rubbed between her ears as i 
talked to her.  the next day my boyfriends mother tells us they had the 
flatbed out there.  the old mare had just died.  fell over dead in the 
pasture.  anybody have any positive light to shed on this?  (please?  :)
 
im still not sure im in the right place in this or the other group.  i have 
so many dreams that others think are so fascinating; to me they are part of 
my life.  i will share the others later at a more eased up pace :)  i was 
bursting with all of this and wanted to get it out.  i dont know for sure if 
its kundalini energy.  i had a bear dream once where i was torn apart limb 
by limb. i mean ripped apart in shreds.  it didnt hurt.  just frightened me. 
but i pretty much knew i would be ok in the end.  ive been told this was a 
shamanic dream; an initiatory dream for a healer.  something has always been 
'off' for me.  i always felt like an observer rather than a participant in 
humanity, even as a child.  but to mother earth and nonhuman animals i feel 
deeply connected, and see most other humans as observers in that respect 
rather than participants.  this 'off' feeling seems to be coming to a head 
or something.  im usually very sociable, the life of the party (usually 
because no matter how many friends and admirers i have i still feel 
detached; so i think i am the life of the party to feel like i belong or 
like im in control by being the one inspiring the fun, but it is just 
temporary, because im left feeling odd again the next day, while everyone 
else around me is so happy and making plans for the next party and insisting 
i go).  lately ive been withdrawn.  for the past year.  i almost feel shy 
now.  isnt that funny?  my pals are confused.  im confused.  i just feel 
different.
 
well, as ive said, i hope to connect.  i have written quite enough for now. 
i eagerly await any ideas you all may have on anything ive written.
 
lalalalala loba kola :) 
Date: Mon, 20 Apr 1998 21:37:33 PDT 
From: "Sharon Ligler" <sliglerATnospamhotmail.com> 
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com, margolisATnospamtransbay.net 
Subject: Re: kundalini arising 
Message-ID: <19980421043733.24945.qmailATnospamhotmail.com> 
Content-Type: text/plain
 
Dan wrote
 
Recently I did a survey of the people involved in the list 
to determine the means by which k-arose.  The main reason I 
was doing this was I suspected that the majority of 
k-arisals did not come from a special effort made to raise 
kundalini energy.
 
There were 12 responses:
 
Here are the results:
 
    During meditation(not related to k-energy): 3 
    Completely spontaneous:2 
    After therapy: 1 
    Hatha Yoga: 1 
    Drug related: 1 
    Shaktipat: 1 
    Sahaja Yoga: 1 
    Ortho-bionomy: 1 
    At birth: 1
 
I have shortened these answers down and I realize that for 
most people the awakening was more a process than a single 
event.  However from what I've read so far there is no 
specific thing you should do to raise kundalini.  It will 
arise after a while of dedicated spiritual practice if it's 
going to.
 
If the lurkers and non-respondents want to add to this 
informal survey that would be cool.  Perhaps should the 
web-site be further developed this question and other 
questions could be posted on it.
 
      Dan M.
 
Being a lurker/voyeur for the past few months, I feel I owe the group  
something for the glorious energies that has transpired the data lines. 
My K started when I was about 2, my grandfather belonged to a lodge that  
believed that deprevation could ignite ones esp/energy etc..  So I was  
put into a soundproof box and left for I don't know how long, long  
enough to loose consciousness.  Anyway, while I was confined a light  
came into the box and sent an energy through my body that tingled and  
felt like fire but it didn't burn or hurt it just was more than my young  
mind could understand, but it was glorious!
 
Sharon L
 
 
______________________ 
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com 
Date: Tue, 21 Apr 1998 01:09:13 EDT 
From: PEGLUMPKIN <PEGLUMPKINATnospamaol.com> 
To: shawebbATnospamyhc.edu, kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com 
Subject: Re: Head tingles....was...Re: Introduction to me 
Message-ID: <5840619.353c29faATnospamaol.com> 
 
In a message dated 98-04-20 14:05:57 EDT, Sharon writes:
 
<< But what IS the "vayus?" 
  
 And are the rest of you into scratching the tops of your heads to relieve 
 the tingle?  I hafta go into my monkey act 20 or 30 times a day.>>
 
A vayu is some kind of energy channel dealibob.  Maybe the Hindu experts can 
jump in here and bail me out.  Apparently kundalini has several pathways it 
can follow, some of which lead to dead ends before enlightenment can be 
reached, according to the booklet "Kundalini Vidya" to which I referred 
earlier.  The only channel which goes all the way to the jackpot is the center 
one (sushumna or something?).  And even if kundalini is working on the right 
channel, it's still a very big jump from brow to crown chakra.  This author, 
Joan Harrigan, referred to a "diamond hard" barrier between them.  Maybe this 
causes a back up of kundalini energy when it hits this barrier and causes us 
to do our monkey act.  Just writing about it has got my scalp in an uproar 
again.
 
But as fun, interesting, and comforting as it is to compare notes on these 
strange symptoms, it's still beside the point.  I look out my window at the 
dreamy cherry blossoms and looks like Mother Nature is throwing a pink popcorn 
party.  I know those trees aren't sitting there wondering if they're doing it 
right or how they compare to the other trees.
 
Peg 
Date: Tue, 21 Apr 1998 01:37:33 -0400 
From: "Sharon Webb" <shawebbATnospamyhc.edu> 
To: "PEGLUMPKIN" <PEGLUMPKINATnospamaol.com>, <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com> 
Subject: Re: Head tingles....was...Re: Introduction to me 
Message-ID: <003e01bd6ce7$96b177a0$67d11fa8ATnospamsharonwe> 
Content-Type: text/plain; 
 charset="iso-8859-1" 
 
Peg wrote: 
>A vayu is some kind of energy channel dealibob.
 
I like this definition.  It makes more sense to me than dealibobaranayan. 
:-)
 
Sharon.
 
-----Original Message----- 
From: PEGLUMPKIN <PEGLUMPKINATnospamaol.com> 
To: shawebbATnospamyhc.edu <shawebbATnospamyhc.edu>; kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com 
<kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com> 
Date: Tuesday, April 21, 1998 1:23 AM 
Subject: Re: Head tingles....was...Re: Introduction to me
 
>In a message dated 98-04-20 14:05:57 EDT, Sharon writes: 
> 
><< But what IS the "vayus?" 
> 
> And are the rest of you into scratching the tops of your heads to relieve 
> the tingle?  I hafta go into my monkey act 20 or 30 times a day.>> 
> 
>A vayu is some kind of energy channel dealibob.  Maybe the Hindu experts 
can 
>jump in here and bail me out.  Apparently kundalini has several pathways it 
>can follow, some of which lead to dead ends before enlightenment can be 
>reached, according to the booklet "Kundalini Vidya" to which I referred 
>earlier.  The only channel which goes all the way to the jackpot is the 
center 
>one (sushumna or something?).  And even if kundalini is working on the 
right 
>channel, it's still a very big jump from brow to crown chakra.  This 
author, 
>Joan Harrigan, referred to a "diamond hard" barrier between them.  Maybe 
this 
>causes a back up of kundalini energy when it hits this barrier and causes 
us 
>to do our monkey act.  Just writing about it has got my scalp in an uproar 
>again. 
> 
>But as fun, interesting, and comforting as it is to compare notes on these 
>strange symptoms, it's still beside the point.  I look out my window at the 
>dreamy cherry blossoms and looks like Mother Nature is throwing a pink 
popcorn 
>party.  I know those trees aren't sitting there wondering if they're doing 
it 
>right or how they compare to the other trees. 
> 
>Peg 
Date: Tue, 21 Apr 1998 02:11:35 EDT 
From: MMeyers541 <MMeyers541ATnospamaol.com> 
To: lobakolaATnospamcsrlink.net 
Cc: kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com 
Subject: Re: loba's prelude 
Message-ID: <61de7b3b.353c3898ATnospamaol.com> 
 
In a message dated 98-04-20 22:37:02 EDT, you write:
 
<< loba kola >> 
Dear Lobster Koala Lady,
 
Welcome to the list (where there's a Lobster Man and a Solar Lion Man, too)!
 
As an Aquarius, you're in for an interesting "k-ride" w/Uranus & Neptune's 
(the electricity & spirituality planets) recent entry into your sign for a 
number of years...your timing's impeccable!
 
See ya, 
Michele  
Date: Tue, 21 Apr 1998 00:57:55 -0500 
From: "Brent Blalock" <blal0004ATnospammaroon.tc.umn.edu> 
To: <lobATnospamlineone.net> 
Cc: "Kundalini - L" <kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com> 
Subject: Re: just so you know 
Message-Id: <353c3b79574f014ATnospammhub2.tc.umn.edu> 
 
From: Ed Jason <lobATnospamlineone.net> 
To: Kundalini list <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com> 
Subject: just so you know 
Date: Sunday, April 19, 1998 10:44 AM
 
> The 
> number 666, she claims, is routinely inserted into computer programs by 
> teckies who share their souls with Satan.
 
>From now on, I'm going to try my best to put "666" into every program I 
write if at all possible. 
Date: Tue, 21 Apr 1998 08:39:19 -0400 
From: melintonATnospamalison.sbc.edu 
To: kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com 
Subject: hugs for all 
Message-Id: <l03130301b16242fadcefATnospam[198.28.38.107]> 
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
 
Virtual hugs!!!! 
OOOOOOOOOOOOO... (400+ times or so)
 
Every person here is needed ... even if they never post.  :)
 
Blessings on each and every one.
 
--Signalfire
 
The web site you seek 
cannot be located but 
endless others exist 
  ---- Joy Rothke from Haiku 
    Error Message competition at Salon 
Date: 21 Apr 98 14:39:16 +0000 
From: "Paul West" <paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk> 
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com 
Subject: The past 
Message-Id: <353CAF94.MD-0.196.paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk> 
 
Hello.
 
I've been having some problems with living in the past, lately but 
also for some time.
 
When I wake up in the morning I get this kind of dissapointed feeling 
that I have to go through another day of being the ego-self, in an 
environment comprising things of yesterday. I have something of a 
thirst for the purchase of new things as if that would make things 
better, but ultimately it is unsatisfying, and there have been many 
times that directly after a new purchase that I thought would bring 
the answer I have simply felt dissapointed and that it was a bad 
choice.
 
It's so bloody hard trying to treat each day as being new and getting 
out of the whole `Im on a path' syndrome. I have to force myself, if I 
remember that I can, to look at everything as if seeing it for the 
first time, denying the past. But it's so hard. I have a great desire 
to travel sometimes, just to be elsewhere, to be somewhere other than 
the nightmare of mundane life. I seem to contort myself to becoming 
whatever anyone else defines me to be, thoughts and history are 
totally taking over my life.
 
What can I do?
 
-- 
Paul. 
Date: 21 Apr 98 15:07:31 +0000 
From: Paul West <paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk> 
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com 
Subject: Pleasure 
Message-Id: <353CB633.MD-0.196.paulATnospamstationone.demon.co.uk> 
 
Hello
 
I think that in the desire to please and to be pleased there is a 
certain distancing away from the courage to look at things which are 
not pleasurable, or to look at things in a way that does not involved 
pleasure. I feel that, at least for myself, there is a tremendous 
desire only to have that which gives the most pleasure to the senses - 
the most expensive technology, top of the range, state of the art, 
things which make you feel good, things which make you feel - to have 
a the pleasure of. In all this seeking of pleasure, however, there is 
unfortunately a loss of power, a loss of the ability to face 
something, and in that inability to face reality reality has turned 
into a hell. Only so long as there is no ability to look at the hell 
does it remain so. But when there can be a change, when you can look 
at the hell, it changes also. Even so, there always seems to be this 
barrier which sais that you are trying to mix heaven and hell 
together, that you want to look honestly while at the same time see 
dishonesty, and that is simply unfaceable, and untrue.
 
And just when you notice that you are indulging in pleasure, the 
pleasure transforms and becomes displeasure - the pleasure of a 
non-heaven. Sadness sets in. Someone sadness is hard to shift because 
of the negativity involved, just to the same degree that happyness is 
hard to shift because of the positivity involved. Sometimes I don't 
know which is the harder.
 
-- 
Paul. 
Date: Tue, 21 Apr 1998 08:30:42 
From: Jeanne Garner <jeannegATnospamicon.net> 
To: madammumATnospamptialaska.net, loba kola <lobakolaATnospamcsrlink.net> 
Cc: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com 
Subject: Re: loba's prelude 
Message-Id: <3.0.1.16.19980421083042.402f160eATnospamicon.net> 
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
 
At 07:09 PM 4/20/98 +0000, valerie cooper wrote:
 
>v: okay hi loba kola! welcome to the 'totally right-brained club'! 
>maybe we should start a new newslist named 'Lysdexics Untie'!
 
What's really ironic is that as I read this message, those last two words 
were the only ones spelled right.  Happens often...
 
lysdexic and pourd of it,
 
   Jeanne     
 ==-* My stars! 
Date: Tue, 21 Apr 1998 09:49:42 -0700 
From: Jerry Katz <umbadaATnospamns.sympatico.ca> 
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com, Harsha1MTM <Harsha1MTMATnospamaol.com> 
CC: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com 
Subject: Re: Truth and Love 
Message-ID: <353CCE26.57ACATnospamns.sympatico.ca> 
 
Harsha wrote: 
> Now how about the possibility that Love may be beyond Truth. 
> Let us mix that in with the permutations that you neither accept or reject 
> (that you simultaneously deny all at once and none together)      :---))
 
I accept the speaker along with the speaker's intent and understanding. 
So one can say Bananas are beyond Love. My relationship is with the 
speaker, not with what the speaker says.
 
>  Jerry: The forest is big with people moving through it. It doesn't matter 
> which 
>  tree falls, there's somebody there to hear it. Truth is the space the 
>  forest is in. Love is every living and non-living thing in the forest. 
>  Anything can happen in the forest, including total annihilation of every 
>  living and non-living thing. You still have the space the forest 
>  occupies. That is Truth. Unchanging, including all things and 
>  possibilites.
 
  
> Harsha: Love is that Self, that Great Spring of Joy which swallows up all 
> Space and Truth which is unchanging, including all things and possibilities. 
> The Great Wave of Love swallows up the Truth and reveals It Self to be the 
> Truth. By the way, my second Goddess poem explains the swallowing up of Space 
> by Love. See below. 
>  
> < Hello Harsha, i've put your poems at: 
>  http://www.telebyte.nl/~frans/kundalini/poetry.html 
>  They made me feel young again!
 
Yes. They gently tell something most of us tell with a heavy hand or 
blabber on about. That lightness or gentleness, I think, is why Frans 
said they made him feel young again. I love that line, "I have swallowed 
up the space all around you." That is Grace speaking, I would like to 
say.
 
 
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