1997/10/30  05:30  
 kundalini-l-d Digest V97 #720 
  
kundalini-l-d Digest				Volume 97 : Issue 720
 
Today's Topics: 
  There is hope                         [ Ken McFarland <kenmATnospamOREGON.UOREGON. ] 
  Walkout                               [ amckeonATnospamhsmail.nfld.k12.mn.us ] 
  Kriyas and tantra (was Re: What to e  [ Kurt Keutzer <keutzerATnospamsynopsys.com> ] 
  Re: A question about a change for th  [ Daniel James Giszczak <danjgATnospamengin. ] 
  Re: piercing the rudra knot           [ anandajyoti <anandajyotiATnospamgeocities. ] 
  Your major experiences                [ Daniel James Giszczak <danjgATnospamengin. ] 
  An unpleasant experience              [ Daniel James Giszczak <danjgATnospamengin. ] 
  Mutant Message Down Under             [ Susanne Macrae <smacraeATnospamcamtech.net ] 
  Re: An unpleasant experience          [ Barbara Shinton <ce269ATnospamfreenet.toro ] 
  Re: left brain/right brain            [ anandajyoti <anandajyotiATnospamgeocities. ] 
  Piercing the Rudra Knot               [ Susanne Macrae <smacraeATnospamcamtech.net ] 
  Re: Piercing the Rudra Knot           [ Barbara Shinton <ce269ATnospamfreenet.toro ] 
  Re: Piercing the Rudra Knot           [ Barbara Shinton <ce269ATnospamfreenet.toro ] 
  Piercing the Rudra Knot               [ Susanne Macrae <smacraeATnospamcamtech.net ] 
  Re: Piercing the Rudra Knot           [ Barbara Shinton <ce269ATnospamfreenet.toro ] 
  Re: Piercing the Rudra Knot           [ "Sen Ashanka"<sashankaATnospamaismi.ais.it ] 
  Introduction from a newbie.           [ "Len.C" <L.J.CzermakATnospamherts.ac.uk> ( ] 
  Re: Introduction from a newbie.       [ Mystress Angelique Serpent <mistres ] 
  Re: Your major experiences            [ Mystress Angelique Serpent <mistres ] 
Date: Wed, 29 Oct 1997 12:33:46 -0800 
From: Ken McFarland <kenmATnospamOREGON.UOREGON.EDU> 
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com 
Subject: There is hope 
Message-id: <1.5.4.32.19971029203346.00c087f8ATnospamoregon.uoregon.edu> 
Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
 
REDMOND, Wash. - Oct. 21, 1997 -- In direct response to accusations 
 made by the Department of Justice, the Microsoft Corp. announced today 
 that it will be acquiring the federal government of the United States 
 of America for an undisclosed sum. "It's actually a logical extension 
 of our planned growth", said Microsoft chairman Bill Gates, "It 
 really is going to be a positive arrangement for everyone".
 
 Gates dismissed a suggestion that the U.S. Capitol be moved to 
 Redmond as "silly", though did say that he would make executive 
 decisions for the U.S.  government from his existing office at 
 Microsoft headquarters. Gates went on to say that the House and Senate 
 would "of course" be abolished.  "Microsoft isn't a democracy", he 
 observed, "and look how well we're doing".
 
 When asked if the rumored attendant acquisition of Canada was 
 proceeding, Gates said, "We don't deny that discussions are taking 
 place". 
Date: Wed, 29 Oct 1997 16:36:56 -0600 
From: amckeonATnospamhsmail.nfld.k12.mn.us 
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com 
Subject: Walkout 
Message-ID: <1333976124-17112916ATnospamhsmail.nfld.k12.mn.us> 
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
 
Nancy wrote:
 
"I have also had a walkout experience...."
 
Could you please tell us more about this? I have received snail mail from 
the "walk-ins" group and seen a tv talk show on this topic. And I'm sure 
many on this list would love to hear about your "walkout" experience. I am 
assuming this is separate from your near death experience?
 
Thanks in advance, 
amckeon 
Date: Wed, 29 Oct 1997 16:43:00 -0800 
From: Kurt Keutzer <keutzerATnospamsynopsys.com> 
To: kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com 
Cc: keutzerATnospamsynopsys.com 
Subject: Kriyas and tantra (was Re: What to expect ...) 
Message-Id: <3.0.32.19971029164259.00e16b90ATnospampcpo-1> 
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
 
Someone wrote: 
>Yelling and howling experiences are nothing to do with K.  They are mere 
occult side effects due to imbalanced glandular and psychic structure. 
This is why all this is linked to the science of intution.  Indeed it is a 
science to understand it fully - not just an emotional experience or 
outburst.  That outburst or feeling may be pleasurable but it is only that 
in many cases.  From my experience when the k rises the attraction to the 
Great is so immense that so much joy will flood the mind that no duality is 
present.  That is bliss or ananda and is a totally different think to 
pleasure from senses or glandular emissions or the like.
 
I hold an alternative view: Yelling and howling are common kriyas 
associated with the rising of kundalini. This is substantiated by 
contemporary teachers such as Swami Vishnu Tirth and Swami Shivom Tirth. 
The resulting kriya may be pleasurable or not but this is irrelevant.These 
kriyas are associated with the purification of samskaras (impressions or 
stresses) of the nervous system and that is their value.
 
They continued: 
>That is what rising of k is about.  One does not focus on all the side 
effects of rising k.  These are simply occult side effects and will be 
stronger for those with imbalance chakra, glandular and other symptons, due 
eg from meat eating diet or non-sattvik food such as onions and garlic 
(stimulants for the lower chakras). 
> 
>[>]  Of course while living in the world one cannot do so in a state of 
denial and so proper ideation is also essential and training fo the mind to 
see one's actions as God and within God is paramount.  This is difficult 
minute per minute.  Thus proper meditation at least twice a day is 
essential as a matter of habit cultivation. 
> 
> Eating a pure sattvic diet, leading a 
>balanced emotional life, and the practice of meditation lead to deep 
>relaxation. This allows the arousal and manifestation of the divine 
>energy. 
>
 
That's one approach. Personally, I agree with the Tibetan Kadampa master 
who wrote: ``Conceptuality is the king of evil.'' My own experience is that 
holding to strong concepts limit the movement of kundalini much more than 
eating onions or meat does. Over its long history kundalini practices have 
been more embraced by tantrics than by the mainstream religious structure 
(e.g. Brahmins). Sooner or later the rising of kundalini will thrust into 
ones consciousnessness the entire gamut of repressed attitudes and 
inclinations. If one is attached to the image of oneself as a ``pure 
sattvic'' person then kundalini will be restricted in its movements. 
 
On the other hand the tantric path is not without its dangers. If one loses 
all discrimination then ones ego can be inflated by the kundalini energy 
with the result that one freely indulges in unethical activities that will 
only lead to a re-establishment of the cycle and pain and suffering rather 
than liberation.
 
So practically speaking I believe that this means that we practice ethical 
behavior without becoming attached to any particular view of ourselves as 
being ``pure''. We acknowledge that shakti pervades both the ``bad'' and 
the ``good''. Finally, when shakti awakens in us we must  not be afraid to 
face the shadow of ourselves and at any time that we might happen to become 
ego-istically identified with shakti then we must either: 
1) surrender our ego to God  
or 
2) apply our discrimination to our ego and realize our own identitylessness
 
Mangalam 
Kurt 
Date: Wed, 29 Oct 1997 21:28:35 -0500 (EST) 
From: Daniel James Giszczak <danjgATnospamengin.umich.edu> 
To: "N. Eckert" <watrfallATnospamniagara.com> 
cc: Dieter Dambiec <d.dambiecATnospamstudent.canberra.edu.au>, kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com, 
 kundalini-lATnospamlists.execpc.com 
Subject: Re: A question about a change for the worse (sorry long:( ) 
Message-ID: <Pine.HPP.3.96.971029212613.22288D-100000ATnospambergh.ummu.umich.edu> 
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII
 
Austrialian Aboriginal tribe who choose when they die: The Real People 
Good book or book on tape about them:  
 Mutant Message Down Under by Marlo Morgan 
 Dan 
Date: Wed, 29 Oct 1997 18:29:55 -0800 
From: anandajyoti <anandajyotiATnospamgeocities.com> 
To: "amckeonATnospamhsmail.nfld.k12.mn.us" <amckeonATnospamhsmail.nfld.k12.mn.us> 
CC: "kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com" <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com>, 
 heartzenATnospamlistserv.servtech.com 
Subject: Re: piercing the rudra knot 
Message-ID: <3457F11B.C3CF5E21ATnospamgeocities.com> 
 
amckeonATnospamhsmail.nfld.k12.mn.us wrote:
 
> As a help for the ignorant (me) could someone briefly explain this concept? 
> 
> Dear Amckeon!
 
Amckeon!The rudra knot is also called the rudra granthi in the Tantras. 
When Kundalini is aroused and leaves the  base chakra it closes that chakra and 
proceeds on to the sex chakra which opens. This process of closing the chakra 
and opening the next chakra goes on as it moves upwards through the spinal 
central column. At the solar plexus chakra (the third chakra from the base), 
the Kundalini pierces the Brahma-Knot, towards its movement further up towards 
the heart chakra, where it pierces the Vishnu-Knot. 
The knot at the center of the third eye, or the center of Christ Consciousness, 
The third eye of Shiva, is the Rudra Knot. On piercing this knot the Kunadalini 
seeks communion with the brain which is the Thousand petalled lotus or 
Sahasrara. 
Hope this makes it a bit clear for you to understand.
 
Anandajyoti 
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Forum/6782 
Date: Wed, 29 Oct 1997 23:24:56 -0500 (EST) 
From: Daniel James Giszczak <danjgATnospamengin.umich.edu> 
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com 
Subject: Your major experiences 
Message-ID: <Pine.HPP.3.96.971029232147.23547B-100000ATnospambergh.ummu.umich.edu> 
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII
 
 Is there a place on the web where I can find the old messages from 
the list?  This link doesn't work: "Jump directly to the new "kundalini-l" 
Mailing List to read the latest postings about kundalini awakening." 
 Dan 
Date: Thu, 30 Oct 1997 00:08:11 -0500 (EST) 
From: Daniel James Giszczak <danjgATnospamengin.umich.edu> 
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com 
Subject: An unpleasant experience 
Message-ID: <Pine.HPP.3.96.971029234801.24758A-100000ATnospambergh.ummu.umich.edu> 
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII
 
 I went to talk to a psychic about kundalini.  She had just given 
readings to twenty odd people over a period of three hours.  When I first 
saw her, I got a huge pressure headache that later spread as low as my 
heart.  When talking to the psychic, we never "connected" and I felt 
disagreeable the whole time.  I think we left each other worse off than 
when we met. 
 After I left her, I felt like there wasn't an ounce of goodness in 
me.  I felt drained more than ever before.  Later, during 
unpleasantness-filled meditation, I managed to move the pressure from my  
head into a scary, intense straight line on the left side of my torso.  I 
gave up on the headache and on looking for meaning.  I slept. 
 I think now that perhaps I felt exactly how she had felt after all 
her work.  How could a single glance cause such a massive change in me?  A 
few days earlier, I got a backache in choir and thought it must have been 
from the instructor.  I asked him about his back and he said he had hurt 
it earlier that day.  This isn't the first time I've thought that I've 
felt the pain (or pleasure) of another as if it were my own.  Can anybody 
relate? 
Dan 
Date: Thu, 30 Oct 1997 16:05:59 +1030 
From: Susanne Macrae <smacraeATnospamcamtech.net.au> 
To: Daniel James Giszczak <danjgATnospamengin.umich.edu> 
CC: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com 
Subject: Mutant Message Down Under 
Message-ID: <34581CBE.4C8AATnospamcamtech.net.au> 
 
Hi Dan and list,
 
Just want to say Mutant Message Down Under is a work of fiction. Marlo 
Morgan didn't live with Australian aborigines and the book is not a 
valid account of aboriginal life.  Many Australian aboriginal women have 
criticised the book and the allusion to it being factual as it does not 
reflect their true culture.  I believe one Australian aboriginal went to 
the U.S. to promote its launch. He was motivated by the money to support 
the story and has since retracted his comments on its validity. 
 
Enjoy it for its fictional story but recognise that it isn't a true 
mirror of aboriginal life.
 
Sue 
Date: Thu, 30 Oct 1997 00:44:17 -0500 (EST) 
From: Barbara Shinton <ce269ATnospamfreenet.toronto.on.ca> 
To: Daniel James Giszczak <danjgATnospamengin.umich.edu> 
cc: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com 
Subject: Re: An unpleasant experience 
Message-ID: <Pine.3.89.9710300005.D13050-0100000ATnospamqueen> 
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII
 
Yes I can relate to your experiece. Just today I was in a University  
Library surfing the net when and overwelming need to leave that situation  
made me run out and come home to be in my own space. Crowded situations  
seem to trigger my need to feel open spaces. My back hurts. My heart  
pounds.The body is saying get me out of here. When I have to much pain in  
my back I go the chiropractor. The spinal adjustments release the blocks  
for kundalini to move freely. Usually tears will follow and then I relax.  
Not much fun been in pain. I'm learning to listen to my body more each day. 
Get more rest. Eat less food. Exercise. Do things I enjoy.
 
Because I meditate frequently I am very sensitive to my environment. 
Date: Wed, 29 Oct 1997 23:15:57 -0800 
From: anandajyoti <anandajyotiATnospamgeocities.com> 
To: Barbara Shinton <ce269ATnospamfreenet.toronto.on.ca> 
CC: "heartzenATnospamlistserv.servtech.com" <heartzenATnospamlistserv.servtech.com>, 
 "kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com" <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com> 
Subject: Re: left brain/right brain 
Message-ID: <34583425.4F47277ATnospamgeocities.com> 
 
Barbara Shinton wrote:
 
> That test only reaches people who access to it through books or internet. 
> 
> Would that same test improve conditions for someone who had nothing to 
> begin with. 
> 
> The thing that bugs me the most is, all this hype about success being 
> blamed on individuals who are not successful because they don't try. Most 
> millionare I hear about are born into it. Financial success comes mostly 
> to people who have early access to proper education about financial matters. 
> 
> The odd case where someone make a million after coming out of poverty is 
> very rare indeed. 
> 
> If your born with  an overload of limitations so self imposed then 
> success is a fantacy. 
> 
>                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 îî--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------í jëëëjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
 
  Hello Barbara ! 
I enjoy the depth of your posts. So much from the heart and experiencial thoughts. 
Thanks for your insightful and felt comments.
 
Anandajyoti 
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Forum/6782 
Date: Thu, 30 Oct 1997 18:14:49 +1030 
From: Susanne Macrae <smacraeATnospamcamtech.net.au> 
To: amckeonATnospamhsmail.nfld.k12.mn.us 
CC: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com 
Subject: Piercing the Rudra Knot 
Message-ID: <34583AF1.7098ATnospamcamtech.net.au> 
 
Hi,
 
The "knots" or granthis are only located at the base, heart and brow 
chakras. From my own experience K moved up through my chakras and out 
through the crown before coming back down through my face and residing 
in the solar plexus.  This took quite some years and caused a lot of 
physical, mental and emotional problems. K then started working 
simultaneously on piercing the 3 knots which have had a greater impact 
on my personality, ego self and communication with my Higher Self.  When 
K opened the crown chakra I made a commitment to work with her to 
utilise her to the very maximum of the potential she was giving me and I 
think this may have been why she started working on the knots.  
 
The piercing of the base granthi took me out of my current world and put 
me into another. For about 3 months I walked around feeling like I was 
Alice caught half way through the looking glass.  I felt that I had to 
wear only white clothes at this time to assist the process. I think this 
piercing is about me in the physical world.
 
The piercing of the heart granthi was interesting because the chakra 
moved about 4-5 inches and I was very aware of this happening at the 
time. It took 2 years and during this time my upper back felt like a 
brick. Then suddenly it dissolved. During this 2 years I worked 
constantly on issues of the heart to help and quicken the process. By 
far the most important aspect of this piercing was the emotional issues. 
  
The Rudra or third eye piercing has been going on for quite a while now. 
My brain feels like it is being re-programmed or de-programmed. This 
piercing is related to my mental self and the releasing of all my 
accumulated perceptions, judgements, changing old for new.  Here the ego 
self must go.  On a physical level I have a constant buzz/hum/tingle 
that covers my face, head and ears and radiates about 18 inches out. 
I often feel nauseous as the ego self separates.  I am not consciously 
working on anything connected with this, just allowing K to do her job. 
I feel quite strange a lot of the time and put this down to what is 
happening in my brain.  Because science says we traditionally use only 
10% of the brain, this piercing feels like it is opening up my brain to 
experiencing it more fully.
 
There is an inverted triangle in the centre of the 3 chakras (base, 
heart and brow) that seems to represent the knots. I have pondered over 
the meaning of this.  Astrologically the inverted triangle is the symbol 
for water (and the triangle the symbol for fire).  I experienced the 
heat (fire)mildly when K was moving upwards through the chakras.  Since 
the knots have been worked on I am experiencing cold.  (Almost reptilian 
cold blood!) 
 
I feel there is a connection here with the symbolism but am not really 
sure as yet.
 
Love,   Sue 
Date: Thu, 30 Oct 1997 02:57:26 -0500 (EST) 
From: Barbara Shinton <ce269ATnospamfreenet.toronto.on.ca> 
To: Susanne Macrae <smacraeATnospamcamtech.net.au> 
cc: amckeonATnospamhsmail.nfld.k12.mn.us, kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com 
Subject: Re: Piercing the Rudra Knot 
Message-ID: <Pine.3.89.9710300255.A5610-0100000ATnospamqueen> 
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII
 
You have a lot of knowledge about kundalini awaking. Does this  knowledge  
keep you from going to crazy because I know for myself I get very scared  
when the goddess moves and I'm not ready for it. 
Date: Thu, 30 Oct 1997 02:59:09 -0500 (EST) 
From: Barbara Shinton <ce269ATnospamfreenet.toronto.on.ca> 
To: Susanne Macrae <smacraeATnospamcamtech.net.au> 
cc: amckeonATnospamhsmail.nfld.k12.mn.us, kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com 
Subject: Re: Piercing the Rudra Knot 
Message-ID: <Pine.3.89.9710300232.B5610-0100000ATnospamqueen> 
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII
 
Anyone familiar with Kabbalah healing? 
Date: Thu, 30 Oct 1997 19:02:34 +1030 
From: Susanne Macrae <smacraeATnospamcamtech.net.au> 
To: Barbara Shinton <ce269ATnospamfreenet.toronto.on.ca> 
CC: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com 
Subject: Piercing the Rudra Knot 
Message-ID: <34584622.112EATnospamcamtech.net.au> 
 
Hi Barbara,
 
When I discovered what was happening to me (the word kundalini just 
popped into my head one day and I searched until I found a book, Lee 
Sannella's Kundalini Experience) I became so overwhelmed that I should 
have this magnificent experience that I really sought to help her as 
much as possible.
 
I went through 12 years of agaraphobia and panic attacks before K where 
fear was my whole life. For 12 months I couldn't leave my home. I lived 
fear 24 hours a day. I couldn't drive a car for over 5 years because of 
panic.   
 
To get out of this I had to learn to embrace my fear.  Sometimes K will 
put me through a new rigour and I will feel the fear.  My technique for 
dealing with it is just to focus on expanding my aura and calling on God 
energy to hold me safe. To step into the fear.  Sometimes I just have to 
sit back (or lie back) and say "do what you will, I know I'm safe".
 
The ego is the source of our fear.  Spiritual transformation through K 
threatens the ego and so fear can often be a real problem. 
 
I guess you are right. Knowledge does help.  My past experiences of fear 
also helps.
 
Love Sue 
Date: Thu, 30 Oct 1997 03:36:32 -0500 (EST) 
From: Barbara Shinton <ce269ATnospamfreenet.toronto.on.ca> 
To: Susanne Macrae <smacraeATnospamcamtech.net.au> 
cc: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com 
Subject: Re: Piercing the Rudra Knot 
Message-ID: <Pine.3.89.9710300314.A8933-0100000ATnospamqueen> 
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII
 
Thanks for getting back to me Sue. It's 3:30am but I'm looking around for  
new information. Your experience has some simularity to mine. I had a  
mild panic attack today. I felt so much pain in my back I couldn't  
concentrate on the computer. I had to leave the library and come home  
before I could relax. I've been like that for quite some time.
 
Living on my own makes it easier. 
Date: Thu, 30 Oct 1997 10:50:38 +0100 
From: "Sen Ashanka"<sashankaATnospamaismi.ais.it> 
To: smacraeATnospamcamtech.net.au 
Cc: ce269ATnospamfreenet.toronto.on.ca, kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com 
Subject: Re: Piercing the Rudra Knot 
Message-Id: <C1256540.0035B730.00ATnospamais.it> 
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII
 
Very true indeed, about K overcoming fear. Long were the years when 
I lived in the fear and awe of the phenomenon of death. Always wondered 
what it would be to die, and everytime fear would take over.
 
Now, with the K strength and a few OOBE's where the lifeless body was 
seen, death fear and subsequently all fear has gone. We have in ourselves 
to look death in the face and realise that death is nothing but a changed 
level of consciousness as someone had put it earlier.
 
We are born to realise our true identity and freedom. This is mental and 
spiritual freedom, not social freedom in the way it is portrayed.
 
We are free 
We are the spirit 
We are the world 
We are the children...
 
Cheers and love to all 
Ashanka 
Date: Thu, 30 Oct 1997 03:08:28 
From: "Len.C" <L.J.CzermakATnospamherts.ac.uk> (by way of Mystress Angelique Serpent <mistressATnospamdomin8rex.com>) 
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com 
Subject: Introduction from a newbie. 
Message-Id: <3.0.1.16.19971030030828.0cff22f0ATnospamdomin8rex.com> 
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
 
Hi everyone 
First I'd like to say that I'm really excited about this list. When you  
hear about my history you will understand why. 
 Yesterday I spent the day surfing to see what info I could find  
on Kundalini. A bout of insomnia, which I had just gone through, had  
renewed my waning motivation to find some answers to all the weird  
phenomena that had been happening to me, of which insomnia is just one  
by-product. I eventualy found an article by El Collie that listed the  
various signs and symptoms that indicate kundalini manifestations. I was  
astounded. I had so many hits that it was uncanny. Maybe I had found the  
answers I had been seeking these past 8 years. 
 My experiences began in the spring of 1989. After many years of  
substance and alcohol abuse I had finally thrown in the towel and began  
to work my way through the suggested twelve step programme with my  
sponsor of that time (I have assummed that you are all familiar with this  
scenario, if only through the media). 
 I had spent the previous 3 months or so writing an inventory of  
my resentments and historical moral misdemeanours. On the day of first  
experience I had just completed sharing this information with my  
confidente and was at home preparing for bed. I knelt down on the floor  
in my prayer posture, I prayed regularly AM and PM to GOD at this time,  
and I said the words "Thank you", at that point I had a dramatic,  
profound spiritual experience. I felt as if a shower of love or bliss  
were emanating from the pit of my stomach and sprayed upward through me  
to the very outreaches of the universe. I actually felt that if I  
abandoned myself to this experience i would die of bliss. I was afraid of  
being obliterated by this power. I also felt a deep sense of being  
unworthy of it and consequently, to my deepest regret, i asked for God   
to stop it. At this the intensity diminished. 
 I remember that the force of this energy actually threw my head  
back and I later felt that perhaps my head was not cleased by the  
process, as I have had an accummalation of energy in my head on a daily basis 
since the experience. 
 My interpretation of the experience was of God  
reciprocating my "thank you" with an outpouring of love. I still feel  
that way today. 
 After the event I felt energy coursing through my body on a daily  
basis. This phenomenon was even more marked during times of prayer and  
meditation. At times my face would contort into a painful grimace (even  
though I was not feeling pain), my head would move involuntary, sometimes  
quite dramatically and i would have an intense feeling of pressure in my  
head, especially at the base of my skull. As a result of these ongoing  
happenings, I concluded that I was possessed of some sort of demon that  
the spiritual experience had somehow awoken.So off I trotted to Charismatic 
Christian meetings and had myself  
delivered on a number of occassions, all to no avail. 
 Over the years i have sought out various spiritual practicioners  
and have never really got any answers. That was untill a few years ago  
when I visited an author of spiritual literature whose books had given me  
hope in the past. He suggested that maybe my experiences had something to  
do with kundalini, but up until now I never followed this up. 
 Phew, well what do hope to get/give this list. I want to end my  
isolation. I have been alone with all this stuff happening to me and i  
have felt victimised by it. I have stopped any routine spiritual disciplines  
and become quite cynical about spiritual matters. I want to find a way  
forward. I want to share experiences and find out some practical ways of  
soothing, if not curing, some of the symptoms I have been experiencing,  
especially the insomnia, unilateral muscle spasms, and the pressure I  
feel in my head. 
 I look forward to reading future postings and getting some  
feedback from you all.
 
Lenny 
    
Date: Thu, 30 Oct 1997 03:08:15 
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent <mistressATnospamdomin8rex.com> 
To: "Len.C" <L.J.CzermakATnospamherts.ac.uk>, kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com 
Subject: Re: Introduction from a newbie. 
Message-Id: <3.0.1.16.19971030030815.3d3774b6ATnospamdomin8rex.com> 
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
 
   Hello, Len, Welcome.  
   I have read your same story many times on this list.. 12 step programs 
and KA. do seem to go together sometimes.. and it is hard for we awakened 
folks to find like minds... community. That simple comfort is part of the 
reason for this list's existence.. worth doing..! 
   You might want to take a surf thru the archives, they have been compiled 
by reference.com since Jan. The address is in my sig.. you can search the 
posts  by subject ..."newbie" or "new member" will pull up some tales just 
like yours!  
  Have fun!  
  BTW: you sent your post to the "maintenance address", so I forwarded it.. 
the correct "posting address" is also below. 
 
At 08:28 29/10/97 -0600, Len.C wrote: 
>	Phew, well what do hope to get/give this list. I want to end my  
>isolation. I have been alone with all this stuff happening to me and i  
>have felt victimised by it. I have stopped any routine spiritual disciplines  
>and become quite cynical about spiritual matters. I want to find a way  
>forward. 
>	I look forward to reading future postings and getting some  
>feedback from you all. 
> 
>Lenny 
>	 	 
> 
>
 
    If you need more info, feel free to write to me at 
kundalini-l-ownerATnospamexecpc.com 
 Love and electric blue K. fire, List Mystress. 
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
   Website <http://www.execpc.com/~libra/kund/kundgate.html> 
   in europe <http://www.telebyte.nl/~frans/kundalini/>
 
To leave the list send a post with UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject header to 
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Date: Thu, 30 Oct 1997 03:10:46 
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent <mistressATnospamdomin8rex.com> 
To: Daniel James Giszczak <danjgATnospamengin.umich.edu> 
Cc: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com 
Subject: Re: Your major experiences 
Message-Id: <3.0.1.16.19971030031046.36a77bd6ATnospamdomin8rex.com> 
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
 
    List Archives from 26/12/96 thru Reference.COM 
http://www.reference.com/cgi-bin/pn/listarch?list=KUNDALINI-LATnospamexecpc.com 
 
  Blessings, Mystress. 
 
At 23:24 29/10/97 -0500, Daniel James Giszczak wrote: 
>	Is there a place on the web where I can find the old messages from 
>the list?  This link doesn't work: "Jump directly to the new "kundalini-l" 
>Mailing List to read the latest postings about kundalini awakening." 
>								Dan 
> 
>
 
Mystress Angelique Serpent,  
  Dominant Experiential Facilitator. 
Website= http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent 
      :D   ;)  :0   :)   ;P   :0   ;)   :D   :0   :)  ;P  :0  ;)  :)     
    Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at  
   different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. 
   -- Clive James  
 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 
 Vancouver, B.C., Canada. Officially the most beautiful city in the world.
 
 
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