Kundalini Gateway Email List Archives


1997/10/02 14:53
kundalini-l-d Digest V97 #486

kundalini-l-d Digest Volume 97 : Issue 486

Today's Topics:
  Re: aliens
  List Mistress
  Re: reality & fantasy
  Re: New kid on the block?
  Re:Great Spirit
  Re: Fwd: Kundalini Awakening
  kundalini pain
  Re: Ego/ego
  Re: kundalini pain
  Re: Changing our DNA? INDEEDY...
  To RUTH. Re: Thank You!
  Re: Relation of removing Entities to Kundalini ?????
  Re: Relation of removing Entities to Kundalini ?????
  Re: Changing our DNA? INDEEDY...
  Re: Changing our DNA? INDEEDY...
  Re: Kundalini Awakening
  Re: Changing our DNA? INDEEDY...
Date: Thu, 02 Oct 1997 10:56:43 -0400
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: aliens
Message-Id: <>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"

01:32 AM 10/2/97 -0400, Deepa wrote:
>About that alien stuff....before I was so kindly guided to the information on
>kundalini and that, that, was what I was going thru....I had two psychics
>tell me that I was abducted by aliens....I bought a bunch of books on the
>stuff and the symtoms are very similar to K. symptoms.....
> But....... I think that perhaps some of what people call alien abductions
>may be interventions by divine beings to help us too...and maybe it is
>connected to Kundalini awakenings.........who knows.....Just some of the
>thoughts in this head......

I've been with this list for a while now but never really post anything.
But with all the talk of aliens, I'd thought I'd jump in. I'm not going to
get into the whole 12 strand DNA debate or anything else, and I'll keep
this short because it is off topic.

A lot of people on this list talk about a sense of mission. I have found
mine (at least in part). For me, it is to help UFO Experiencers and
Abductees not feel so alone in this world. There aren't many people these
people can talk to, as most are not into new age ideas or have even heard
of most of the things discussed on this list.

I have created a web page that allows these people to post their stories
(anonymously) without fear of ridicule or shame. They can see that others
share their experiences and this can help provide a healing of sorts.

If you'd like to see what "the average joe" says in regard to UFOs and
their experiences, check out http://idt.net/~srimpi19/ufo.html

It's my first and only web page so I apologize if it's not up to snuff with
other sites. It's relatively new, so I only have a few stories as well. I
welcome any comments too.

Sorry for writing off topic. Thanks for your time.

In Service to the Light,

Date: Thu, 2 Oct 1997 10:22:22 -0500
From: MrNamasteATnospamwebtv.net (MrNamaste)
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: List Mistress
Message-Id: <199710021522.IAA14480ATnospammailtod-1.alma.webtv.net>

I have read part of your reply, trying to figure out wat you were
attempting to communicate.

I am surprised you tell me to have this David subscribe to your list.
He has been ON list for quite some time.

I am sorry I did not bring this to your attention.

Thank you for your time and concern in writing such a long reply --- how
ever, I do not understand it.

Date: Thu, 02 Oct 1997 08:52:18 -0700
From: E Jason <vv60ATnospamdial.pipex.com>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: reality & fantasy
Message-ID: <3433C332.3A98ATnospamdial.pipex.com>

tg xxx wrote:
> M wrote....
> << I am not a big Bible person but even the New Age and previously
> supressed
> gospels all indicate He did >>>choose the cross<<< >>
> I totally agree with this - my gosh! here's a man/mystic that could
> perform some of the ultimate miracles - don't you think that he could
> have chosen to say, ''hey bubs, this cross thing is for the birds - I'm
> outta here!''
> He chose to stay instead of walk away. I think there is an important
> message in that itself. What it is, I don't know. I still tend to walk
> away from crucifixion type situations if I am able to. That cross thing
> really ties me up. Oh well.

Part of the process of development is whether you fulfill the duties and responsibilities
of that situation. If you are preaching the Truth and the going gets tough, you do not
just walk away. You are an embodiment of turning the other cheek and loving your enemy
and so on. Otherwise you are a hypocrite. You have no choice but to fulfill your
teaching. Part of Christs problem was that he was young both physically and in terms of
inner maturing. He loved too much, too openly.
God does not walk away and only someone with God like qualities has no choice. The Sun
shines on good and bad without discrimintation. You or I would walk away. Some people
have stronger resolve.
Do they choose?
Does God dictate? You choose?

Do they?
Who knows?

Most Kind Regards
Date: Thu, 2 Oct 1997 12:21:45 -0400 (EDT)
From: SchrLLATnospamaol.com
To: Kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: New kid on the block?
Message-ID: <971002121851_171863185ATnospamemout04.mail.aol.com>

In a message dated 97-10-01 20:55:09 EDT, you write:

<< Wed, 1 Oct 1997 20:54:21 -0400 (EDT)
 Date: Wed, 1 Oct 1997 20:54:21 -0400 (EDT)
 From: SchrLLATnospamaol.com
 In a message dated 97-10-01 04:14:30 EDT, you write:
 << You haven't been around here
  very long, have you? Or, you were not awake for certain posts I guess...
     M >>
 Touched upon a very important point, did I? How fortunate we are to have so
 many caring people to point these things out. :-& Love and LIGHT, Linda
Date: Thu, 2 Oct 1997 12:28:41 -0400 (EDT)
From: SchrLLATnospamaol.com
To: Kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re:Great Spirit
Message-ID: <971002121917_-1194888303ATnospamemout13.mail.aol.com>

 << From: GoodwulfeATnospamaol.com
  To: trimbleATnospamhawaii.edu
  CC: Kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
  Ruth, Yes, I have "heard" of the mutation of the DNA, however, I
  believe that I am a "human", and am living my life as one on this planet.
  originally discovered the theory about the 12 strand DNA about 5 yrs. ago,
  after a healing session with a friend. Its sounded interesting at the
  time, as she explained it to me, "your guides are changing your DNA, as we
  speak..." Well, let me tell you, my DNA remains the same, however my
  has declined rapidly.
     I think we really need to stay grounded in the here and now as we all
  "TRANSFORM" spiritually, and not let our "chains be yanked" by every New
  guru who sells books and does the circuit tour. . .
 I dont personally take the word "Transform" literally. I dont
  our DNA is changing. I think its meant to be a metaphor... much like all
  the Biblical writings.
  Geez, if we took all this stuff LITERALLY, We should all be walking
  around with X-ray vision, and be able to leap tall buildings in a single
  bound. Sorry, I got all carried away with that DNA stuff years ago, and
  went nowhere. Ive evolved spiritually. We all have. We will all
  to do so until we die, hopefully.
 My original question to you about "how do you know our DNA is being
  manipulated", WAS meant literally. Have yours checked out. I'll just bet
  its the same as it always was. Just a hunch...
     Namaste! Kelly
 It is so easy to get caught up in speculation. But without proof, all of us
 are really only guessing. What is going on? When I was standing on that
 mountaintop looking at that Light in the sky, I was not the only one who
 could not believe my eyes. One of the people got frightened and went in the
 house. The girl standing next to me said she wouldn't believe it if she got
 enlightened, yet she meditates all the time and she is standing there with
 the rest of us looking at that LIght. It was not a space ship, nor an angel,
 not a sound, not anything except Light. Yet I felt so o o o much love and
 It used to be that we cold say, OH that was Jesus, or Mary or God or and
 angel or even a UFO. I like the Native American name, Great Spirit. But I
 still do not KNOW. Nobody really knows. I just know that it has to do with
 love, a love which is so overwhelming that it is the most totally awesome
 thing in my universe. Wow!
 Love and Light, Linda
Date: Thu, 02 Oct 1997 09:37:08 -0700
From: indra <indraATnospamsmartt.com>
To: CDeepaATnospamaol.com
CC: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: Fwd: Kundalini Awakening
Message-ID: <3433CDB3.74A7ATnospamsmartt.com>

CDeepaATnospamaol.com wrote:
> ---------------------
> Forwarded message:
> Subj: Re: Kundalini Awakening
> Date: 97-10-02 01:20:50 EDT
> From: CDeepa
> Wow....This just made me remember a dream that I had last nite.....for it to
> make sense i must tell you that one part of the kundalini thing that I
> experience is this uncomfortable unrealness of the world...including
> myself....everything literally feels like a dream....surreal....
> Well in the "dream" while i was sleeping last nite I was in some kind of
> Ashram with a male teacher....and he told me that the radical changes in
> perception were to help me let go of what I valued....or thought was so
> real....so that I could begin to experience what is real......The purpose was
> to shake loose the tite grip that I had on what I thought was real....or my
> life....
> And of course...the extreme pain has been a part of it all....tons of pain
> and grief...
> So...I thought that went along with what was said before.....
> It is really a transformation.....and the pain really does seem to be a part
> of it....perhaps it is the letting go....that hurts.....but this leads to the
> expansion...
> just some thoughts......deepa :)
Hello Deepa!

Basically we have three states of our consciousness,and there are more.
I would like to focus on the three basic one at this time.
First is this reality of the three dimensional world which we think,
speak and act in.
When we are in the dream state this three dimensional reality whic we
are so used to ceases to exist . Then we are conscious of another
We realize that we had been dreaming, only when we wake up in this three
diemnsions. By comparison of the two we realize that we had been
dreaming. But when in the dream state we participate in that reality as
if that was real.
The third one is the state of deep sleep when we do not dream, nor are
we aware of this three diemnsional reality, as we call it. While in this
state the frenquency of our conscious energy increases to such a state
that on waking up in this three dimensional reality again, we feel very
refreshed and happy. In this thrid state of our existence we commune
with our soul nature and that is the reason why we feel very happy and
refreshed on our awakening in this three dimensional reality.
Just my thoughts too.

In Love Life & Light,

Date: Thu, 2 Oct 1997 13:11:28 -0400 (EDT)
From: SchrLLATnospamaol.com
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: kundalini pain
Message-ID: <971002121901_878157201ATnospamemout09.mail.aol.com>

n a message dated 97-10-01 21:13:10 EDT, you write:
To: GoodwulfeATnospamaol.com
 CC: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
 To Kelly and everyone lurking,
 This is in response to your desperate plea for an explanation for your
 painful Kundalini process. I too have been suffering for years with the
 kind of tormenting symptoms you mention, plus disabling spine pain that at
 times is excruciating. I also have the same type of character qualities you
 describe: compassionate, courageous, self-sacrificing, with a compelling
 to serve and give to others.
 As to whether your condition is Kundalini or an underlying disease, the two
 are not mutually exclusive and both can occur simultaneously. I know
 Kundalini is active in me because no disease I've ever heard of has the
 bizarre scope of the things I've experienced (and still experience daily).
  Like you, I've had little in the way of bliss, but I've had so many
 mystical, psychic and paranormal experiences which nothing but active
 Kundalini could explain.
 It will probably grate on your nerves to be told that some of the
 inflammation (I have it too -- horrendous!) is due to repressed anger. I've
 discovered this is partly true in my case, but not as might be imagined. My
 anger is from a part of me that is enraged over how terribly I've suffered,
 not just with Kundalini, but on all levels throughout my life. I discovered
 I have been forcing myself to live up to superhuman expectations of
 selflessness. I've learned that some of my Kundalini pain is due to
 overdeveloping my altruistic side, leaving me with a deep imbalance where I
 need -- and am slowly learning -- to be more generous and gentle to myself.
  I also saw that I have tremendous difficulty forgiving God (and the
 Universe) for imposing suffering on any living being for any reason. These
 are profound angers of the soul, not your garden variety
 In addition to the compulsory yoga we both have experienced, I've had
 spontaneous and totally unexpected releases of devastating grief, terror and
 re-lived trauma from childhood abuses I thought I had already gotten past.
 can sense there is a lot more in me that needs to come up before my system
 unblocked and the energy can move freely.
 It occurred to me in late '92 was that there must be hundreds or thousands
 us, struggling in isolation through overwhelming pain, fear and the overall
 enormity of this process. That's when C. Kress and I began Shared
 Transformation (Kundalini support) newsletters. It is a miracle we've been
 able to keep the newsletter going these past 5 years while I've been
 bedridden in agony for months at a time, and even on my "good" days I can't
 sit or stand for very long.
 We continue to hear from people from all over the world who are going
 this -- over 1200 to date. I would estimate that between 5-10% are as
 relentlessly sick as you and I. At the other end of the spectrum, another
 5-10% experience no illness or pain, only powerful energies, bliss and
 mystical/psychic phenomena. Dr. Yvonne Kason, in her excellent book A
 FARTHER SHORE, says that people like you and me who have the rare pattern of
 nonstop Kundalini activity are the most likely to endure severe physical or
 mental/emotional symptoms. For what comfort it may bring, many shamans
 believe that those of us who have the hardest time with this will undergo
 most radical self-transformation.
 Who has the final say as to whether or not it is really Kundalini? I would
 give that honor to Kundalini herself. If she has come to reside within you,
 in one way or another she makes her presence and her reality known. Even
 people who have gone through this a decade or longer without ever hearing
 word "Kundalini" have come to realize some kind of immense spiritual force
 was at work.
 I've asked myself the same kinds of questions you have: "What's the point of
 all this suffering? How can I continue to serve when I can barely survive?"
  One of the answers that came to me was that I have already learned how to
 serve; now I must learn to let go of my idea of who I'm supposed to be and
 love myself as much as I've loved others. I'm also being shown that even
 suffering has a divine, ultimately benevolent purpose. Not that suffering
 itself is something noble or good, but that suffering's purpose is to
  Most people cannot spiritually and psychologically mature without it.
 Bliss and joyous experiences are inspirational and validating, while
 suffering and hardship break us, allowing us to be changed in ways we didn't
 know we needed. Many people with catastrophic illnesses and those who go
 through other crises in life which "break" them are then able to experience
 new ways of being which are far more whole and fulfilling than ever before.
 I suspect that when I am able to realize this, not simply intellectually as
 do now, but in the deepest recesses of my psyche, I will regain my trust in
 the universe and simultaneously be freed from much pain. It's a paradox.
  When we can fully accept something (not just resign ourselves to it, but
 fully surrender to it -- which, again, paradoxically may mean allowing
 ourselves to rage and scream and howl and weep), only then does it change.
 I haven't gotten this far yet with my physical pain, but I have watched this
 pattern repeat itself in many other circumstances where I seemed to be
 hopelessly stuck. There are probably more causes to the pain than what I've
 brought up here, and even if I understood them all it would still hurt. But
 it does help me somewhat to find these answers to my own "why?" I hope it
 will be of some help to you as well.
 Sorry if I ranted on so long.
 El Collie
Right On, El Collie!
The source of my most terrible of pains, which I too was disabled with off
and on for years, is the source now of my bliss. Get this. I , being the
altruist as you are, used to accept my pain and bore that cross until I
finally had suffered enough. When I freaked out and decided to become a
hedonistic, sensualist my pain began to go away. Perhaps I just needed to
give myself permission to take a break. I am glad you are learning to love
yourself. You deserve it!
Love and Light, Linda ATnospam->->--
Date: Thu, 2 Oct 1997 13:32:02 -0400 (EDT)
From: SchrLLATnospamaol.com
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: Ego/ego
Message-ID: <971002132955_-1060858321ATnospamemout18.mail.aol.com>

In a message dated 97-10-01 02:10:03 EDT, you write:

 > > Deal with it. ATnospam->->--
  Morgana wrote;
 I work with geniune schizophrenics, and there is NOTHING spiritual about
 their state. There could be people who are mis-diagnosed, but a genuine
 schizo has very dark and angry energy, a child-like mental state, and
 thinks in circle instead of logical sequential thought. There is no
 genuine creativity which I have observed in these thoughts...they are
 not associative, simply subjective reactions.
The process of becoming schizophrenic takes a long time. There are many
maifestation before true schizophrenia sets in. The precursors are similar to
the many K - like experiences we have. People react to us negatively and we
react by freaking out. As the Schizo becomes less and less able to adapt to
society and vise versa, isolation, guilt, rejection and certainly a lot of
anger sets in. How can you expect logical, sequential thought out of people
who do not perceive in a left brain way? (ie psychic) People get locked up,
drugged, and shocked because they cannot conform to society. Although our
western society believes in spirituality, most of the medical profession does
not. Also religious society in the west does not believe that people with
egos and who are sensual are religious. People with K are caught in the
middle and there is no place to go .

    Except here! ATnospam->->--
Date: Thu, 02 Oct 1997 13:33:08 -0400
From: David Hodges <dhodgesATnospamrecol.com>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: kundalini pain
Message-Id: <>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"

At 01:11 PM 10/2/97 -0400, you wrote:
>Right On, El Collie!
>The source of my most terrible of pains, which I too was disabled with off
>and on for years, is the source now of my bliss. Get this. I , being the
>altruist as you are, used to accept my pain and bore that cross until I
>finally had suffered enough. When I freaked out and decided to become a
>hedonistic, sensualist my pain began to go away. Perhaps I just needed to
>give myself permission to take a break. I am glad you are learning to love
>yourself. You deserve it!
>Love and Light, Linda ATnospam->->--
That is such a good insight. As a person who has been "broken" of a lot of
saintliness, I became MUCH happier when I could be a sinner like everyone
else. It really opened me up and freed me and made it easier to wisely
serve. I don't need to help everyone I meet and I don't feel guilty for
turning down panhandlers (literal ones and figurative ones) but I find that
I do have guidance about who to pay attention to and to make myself
available to.
Now whenever I come under attack for something I've done/ not done (mostly
from my mate) I can shrug my shoulders with the feeling of, I've never
claimed to be anything but a screwup myself, sorry about that.
That "holy" self I used to have was paired with a pretty closed heart and a
lot of fears of intimacy and an inability to geniunely relate to most
people. The alternative is a lot better. Plus I really enjoy the K energy
(now that I've learned that's what it is).
I think Martin Luther said something like, and this is a wild paraphrase,
"if your going to sin, SIN BOLDLY". I think he knew how good for the soul
it is to do so.

Date: Thu, 2 Oct 1997 13:49:53 -0400 (EDT)
From: SchrLLATnospamaol.com
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: Changing our DNA? INDEEDY...
Message-ID: <971002133832_-395824590ATnospamemout15.mail.aol.com>

In a message dated 97-10-02 13:14:30 EDT, you write:

<< find your empowerment in health and healing as I have.
 Have a big hug.. and much compassion.. for I have been there.. .done
 that.. and it is your time now to heal.
 Ruth >>

You see, Ruth has become empowered and is being healed. No matter what forces
are shapping her path, she is better and happier and suspects, as I do, that
these forces go far beyond our usual ability to understand.
Perhaps it does not matter who or how it is happening, but that it is, and we
can share what we are learning. ATnospam->->--
Date: Thu, 2 Oct 1997 14:02:20 -0400 (EDT)
From: GoodwulfeATnospamaol.com
To: GoodwulfeATnospamaol.com
cc: Kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: To RUTH. Re: Thank You!
Message-ID: <971002135409_552560818ATnospamemout10.mail.aol.com>

Ruth, Would you mind terribly leaving me alone? Your energy is
extremely negative and invasive. I was taught once by a psychic friend
of mine, " The IMPACT, was the INTENT." This has served me very well.
 I've been able to avoid dangerous situations, and very dangerous people
using this simple thought. I've definitely been "psychically" attacked by

      She used to call people like you "Psychic Vampires." Im grateful for
her lesson, because I may not have known to protect myself in situations like
Im also grateful for the "test" I've been given by you. This type
of situation really helps me prepare for my own transformation.

 I feel energized today, because I "caught" your "stuff" before you
were able to take anything from me, and protected myself before your attack
could make me sick!
Im so excited! I did it! ! You helped me to discern --
 something I used to have a difficult time with in the past. I guess there
really are "Good" uses for "Negative" energies... I hope others reading
will learn from our postings as well.

I leave you now, on "neutral" terms. I leave you to go to "Your"
good, and you leave me to go to "My" good.

 You DONT have MY energy, Ruth. I hung onto it! ! ! Thank you
 Im empowered by this lesson.
For others who might want to practice this excercise, think about the
THE IMPACT IS THE INTENT! ! ! When it hits you at that "gut" level, and
your higher self assesses the situation, then tells you to flee or fight, PAY
It REALLY works! ! !

Dont "give up" your energy to others looking for your blood(so to
speak), thats how we become sick! !

May all be well today with everyone. Namaste! ~ Kelly ~
Date: Thu, 02 Oct 1997 11:10:34 -0700
From: indra <indraATnospamsmartt.com>
To: ori^ <oriATnospameskimo.com>
CC: Kundalini-l <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com>
Subject: Re: Relation of removing Entities to Kundalini ?????
Message-ID: <3433E39A.6568ATnospamsmartt.com>

ori^ wrote:
> Dear Ruth and all,
> While some of these topics (entity removal, 12 DNA strands, etc.)
> are very fascinating, I wonder how they fit into the topic of
> kundalini?
> I have no problem with a diversity of subjects on this list,
> but it seems that these current subjects are beginning to stray
> a bit from the list focus.
> If there is a connection which I am not seeing then perhaps
> it could be made more explicit because my guess is that others
> might not be seeing it either. Otherwise perhaps these topics
> are best discussed on other lists.
> Thanks.
> In service to the process of awakening,
> ori^
> ******
> * ori^ *
> * <mailto: oriATnospameskimo.com> *
> * http://www.eskimo.com/~ori/ori.html *
> ******

I personally agree with ori's comments. The list has been digressing too
much in the last one week or so from its focus on Kundalini related
I hope the contributors to this post would have the sanity to stay on
focus on Kundalini alone. It only indicates to me that many are here for
the fun of it. Nothing wrong there. I would suggest that to keep the
focus would help all interested in Kundalini.

Thanks to all for your time and patience.

In Love Life & Light,

Date: Thu, 02 Oct 1997 11:23:18 -0700
From: Mary Ezzell <maryATnospamdragontree.com>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: Relation of removing Entities to Kundalini ?????
Message-Id: <>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"

At 06:21 AM 10/2/97 -0700, you wrote:
>Dear Ruth and all,
>While some of these topics (entity removal, 12 DNA strands, etc.)

IMO entity removal is relevant, because in thinking I was 'surrendering to
k', I had let in some foreign entities instead. Now how to get rid of them
without throwing k out with the bathwater?

Also, if other beings besides k are reorganizing us, we need the wisdom to
know the difference. :-)

I found Ruth's and her friend's letter very clear and helpful.

Date: Thu, 2 Oct 1997 14:22:31 -0400
From: chelseaATnospamsuperaje.com (Dominic & Maureen Marando)
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: Changing our DNA? INDEEDY...
Message-Id: <19971002182235Z20697-138+80ATnospamsuperaje.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"

 Kelly wrote;
> I think we really need to stay grounded in the here and now as we all
>"TRANSFORM" spiritually, and not let our "chains be yanked" by every New Age
>guru who sells books and does the circuit tour. . .
> I dont personally take the word "Transform" literally. I dont believe
>our DNA is changing. I think its meant to be a metaphor... much like all
>the Biblical writings.

> ............
> I have to agree whole-heartedly with ya here Kelly. We can really take
some scary wide turns if we're not careful. I'm sure what's going on is more
subtle than what reads like a bad sci-fi movie......
And this from someone who has had so-called "UFO" experiences.
OK everyone.........back down to earth for a while our you'll float away.
Date: Thu, 2 Oct 1997 15:24:14 -0400 (EDT)
From: ImtgxxxATnospamaol.com
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: Changing our DNA? INDEEDY...
Message-ID: <971002152054_1832687200ATnospamemout10.mail.aol.com>


Wow. I didn't know how you were going to handle this situation, but I have
to say that you did it beautifully!

I don't know what else to say.... but glad you are here.

Date: Thu, 2 Oct 1997 16:18:57 -0400 (EDT)
From: GoodwulfeATnospamaol.com
To: mistressATnospamdomin8rex.com
cc: Kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: Kundalini Awakening
Message-ID: <971002161301_1530690296ATnospamemout14.mail.aol.com>

     Dear Lyst Mistress,
     Thank you so much for your encouraging post. This is all so
"challenging", isnt it? It sure helps tremendously to have Loving guidance
and insight, when feeling so alone.

  Its so funny that you would mention "Art therapy." I have always
longed for the ability to be able to DO anything artistic, but cant even draw
a stick person. I have attempted painting, with GREAT frustration,
sculpting, and just plain coloring in childrens books. Oddly it annoys me
because it doesnt "FEEL" good.

My major in college was Theatre, and for about 15 yrs. I pursued an
Acting career, with some success, but this brought me tremendous joy. More
than Ive ever known. Unfortunately, I have no strength to audition, let
alone to do a show,
      Its actually been 9 years since Ive done anything "professionally", and
I do miss it. Im not craving to get back into it, because this disease has
changed my feelings and views about things, and Im in a "different place"

After I decided to give my Acting career a rest for good, I discovered
Interior Design, and flourished at it. I was sorry I didnt "find it" years

I think the "reason" for the disease Im suffering from, was to
sloooowwww, me down, and force me to go "within". Something I just didnt
have time for back then.

I have learned incredible life lessons from being ill. I just want
"out" now, but for some reason, "Spirit" doesnt think its time yet.
  (believe me, Ive been asking)

Your suggestions were all wonderful, and your "Intent" was even
better. Thank you for taking the time to send a little Love my way. It's
well recieved, and returned tenfold! !
 I love Bach. The Bridge across Forever was one of my favorites.
    I will "trust" like you mentioned. Sometimes we forget to do that when
were in the middle of all our "stuff". Blessings right back at ya, and a
whole lot of Love too! ! ! Namaste! Kelly
Date: Thu, 2 Oct 1997 16:26:55 -0400 (EDT)
From: GoodwulfeATnospamaol.com
To: wh982ATnospamfreenet.victoria.bc.ca
cc: Kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: Changing our DNA? INDEEDY...
Message-ID: <971002162301_1075328252ATnospamemout11.mail.aol.com>

  STUART --- You cant possibly know how much your compassion and feelings
about this just affected me. It isnt "pity" as she stated that were ALL
looking for, but rather VALIDATION. Thank you from the bottom of my
heart for taking the time to validate me, and where Im "at" right now.

  I was seriously considering removing myself from this List, but now
that I know you're here, well, I think I just might stick around. I hope
you will too. And if it's all the same to you, we dont ever have to bring
this whole "ordeal" up again.

 I was fortunate enough however, to walk away from her "energy"
without a trace of mine handed over to her, and for that Im grateful.

 Whew! So please Stuart, do stay for a while... I have found many
posts to be strange and somewhat offensive, but at the same time, I have
"happened" across some very genuinely loving people here too. Such as
life, huh? :-)
      Thanks for being a friend when I needed one. May I return the favor
I hope so. With much Love to you, Kelly


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