Kundalini Gateway Email List Archives

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1997/03/16 15:17
kundalini-l-d Digest V97 #98


kundalini-l-d Digest Volume 97 : Issue 98

Today's Topics:
  New member introduction
  RE: snail mail address
  mailing list
  Re: New member introduction
  did it work?
  Re: Curious
  Re: New member introduction
  Reactions
  Re: Reactions
  Re: Bringing kundalini up to date
  Re: chakras/1, 2, 3
  AutoPost from Kundalini Resource Center
  Test Post
  response to Mary
Date: Sat, 15 Mar 1997 14:18:00 -0800
From: Peggy Freeman <pfreemanATnospamstanford.edu>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: New member introduction
Message-Id: <v03007800af50b6c18c60ATnospam[36.173.1.65]>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"

Hello Friends,

I have just subscribed to the list and thought I would make a brief
introduction. (I know this introduction isn't brief, but the complete story
is very long!) I feel a need to connect with others who have experienced
similar upheavals in their life due to spiritual emergency/kundalini
awakenings. Just recently, I had joined another spiritually focused e-mail
group and I started to post a great deal of my "story." However, to my
dismay, it appeared *no-one* on the list had gone through the kinds of
experiences I had. And, just in early February of this year I went through
yet another opening, which took me by surprise, as it had been over four
years and I really believed that I would never go through this
energetic/psychic experience again. For this reason, it feels imperative
that I really find the right type of support now.

My name is Peggy and I'm 36. I've been married for three years, have a
beautiful 18-month old daughter, and live in the Bay Area. My "spiritual
opening / kundalini / crisis " started very dramatically and without
warning in January 1988. At that time I had not been involved at all in any
way with spiritual practices - no meditation, nothing of the sort. I was
agnostic, but the whole experience completely opened me up to "prove" to me
the existence of the higher nature of the Universe, etc. I'm going to keep
the story somewhat short, and if it feels appropriate, I may post the long
version later. I have had repeated surges of the kundalini-type energies
since 1988, although they have been spaced farther and farther apart. I
honestly thought I was through with it all... until about a month ago...

A lot of the crisis was initially centered around a co-worker - a man I
fell deeply in love with, though we were not involved in any way
romantically. In some way he seemed to be a precipitating factor, though
there was much happening outside my preoccupation with him. Yesterday, I
purchased the book "Energies of Transformation" by Bonnie Greenwell - quite
an excellent read on the Kundalini process. I just read about the term
"shaktipat" and now I seriously wonder whether this man had unconsciously
stimulated a kind of "shaktipat" transmission. In any case, in early 1988
after a very unusual encounter with this man, I became amazingly energized
and felt an incredible connection to him. Unfortunately he did not and
never has since validated any kind of connection. Yet I've experienced
manifestations of his presence even though I haven't communicated with him
in years. The hardest part is that nearly every time these energies hit
me, the fact that I haven't completely healed from my encounter with this
man comes to the surface. It's taken a LOT longer than I had ever
anticipated. Oh well.

I was diagnosed with manic-depression, although my symptoms didn't really
fit that very well. For one thing, I had incredible strings of
synchronicities as well as some psychic phenomena on the onset of the surge
of energies, and secondly, I never really experienced the depressive side
which is typical of manic depression (now called bipolar disorder). Also, I
had all these body phenomena which to me were not well described in the
literature of bipolar illness either. For example, I felt alternately
incredibly light or very heavy, felt large surges of energy going through
my body... it's kind of a long list that varied.

The initial experience lasted about a month and was stabilized by
medication. I had more surges in 1988, and then they began to spread out.
For about five years I delved deeply into metaphysics and New Age study and
literature. I attended many brief workshops and participated in a few
shortly-lived groups, ranging from meditation to Jane Robert's Seth study
group Silva Mind Control to Reiki to extra-terrestrial channeling. I have
been quite eclectic about the whole process and never really felt
comfortable with any one group -- partly because I was never really a
"group" person. The longest bout was a four-month clairvoyant training with
a psychic institute that I didn't complete. Also, a few years ago I started
studying with the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology (ITP) but dropped
out after I got married and decided I wanted to just enjoy life for a
while! As part of this process of inquiry I have an entire bookshelf filled
with metaphysically-oriented books.

I also pursued alternative healing methods because I felt physically off
balance for a *long* time. I have meditated on and off, but usually found
that traditional meditation made me feel worse. In fact, part of the
problem has been that any of the recommended therapies (changes in diet,
increase in exercise, herbal/vitamin therapy, etc.) had an adverse effect
on me or I would have this incredibly strong intuition to stop. So, except
for practically cutting out alcohol, I currently don't have any particular
practice--except for reading books and some ad-hoc meditation.

After I left ITP, for about three years, I really didn't focus much at all
on the metaphysical or spiritual. Things were going really well - my new
marriage, we bought a new house, and then, new daughter. I finally started
feeling much better physically, emotionally, and mentally. I thought I had
strengthened my personality and my life to the point where I wouldn't
encounter dramatic shifts in energy, or if I did, I would handle them
really well. Oops, was I humbled. It all started when I began doing a
series of affirmations to make some changes in my work life. I noticed the
energy in my body, as well as the externals in my life, began really moving
again. I tried to remain calm and thought that maybe this time, I could
enjoy the increased energy in my life without the emotional and psychic
upheaval. Well, not yet, I guess. Some strong emotions and very pointed
synchronicities occurred, (having nothing to do with my work life) and
because of the lack of support from knowledgeable people around me, my
immediate family decided I was having another "manic" episode again. I am
discouraged by the fact that traditional allopathic medicine - here at
Stanford University no less, has such little understanding of this process.

Well, I am stabilized, down on the ground, and functioning normally now,
but I realize I need support -- because I don't feel as if this whole
process is finished. One reason why I don't feel like it's finished is
because right now I have this incredible sensation of blockage in my heart
chakra.

I don't want more information on "how God/the Universe works" - I've
studied this from an intellectual or mental level and I have received
*many* wonderful insights. What I *do* want is to integrate this into my
body! I am not sure whether I should meditate or not. I have never had a
spiritual "teacher" and for the first time I wonder if I should find one,
but I wouldn't know where to begin.

Well, this is my story in a nutshell. I look forward to learning more and
hope this group is an appropriate place to continue sharing.

Love & Light,

-- Peggy
Date: Sat, 15 Mar 1997 19:34:26 -0500
From: "Elwin J. Pretty" <eprettyATnospamtrytel.com>
To: "'k-list'" <kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com>
Subject: RE: snail mail address
Message-ID: <01BC3178.1CA2D040ATnospamport12.trytel.com>

----------
>
> Elwin J. Pretty
> P.O. Box 371
> Carletom Place, Ont.
> Canada K7C 3P5
>
> I would appreciate receiving the book also, to pay for same. Send along a charge and I will send you U.S. money order in exchange.
>
> Elwin

>>No problem, I will get it in the mail to you tomorrow. Let me know how
>>you do with it. Talk soon. What kind of meditation are you doing? Gloria

I notice that I spelled the town I live in wrong
It s/b Carleton Place

There is no special type of meditation that I use although I have had training in Buddist techniques so much so that I would be classed as a holy person if I lived in Sri Lanka.

I was originally taught by a UC minister to overcome pain as no medicines would help and I was beginning to become quite crippled. The meditation helped and when the K hit I had manipulation of the spine that helped correct a spinal compression so that today I have very little pain to deal with.

Elwin
Date: Sat, 15 Mar 1997 20:54:21 -0500 (EST)
From: TWright223ATnospamaol.com
To: Kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: mailing list
Message-ID: <970315205420_-902605096ATnospamemout10.mail.aol.com>

Please remove me from the mailing list. I have learned much from this list
along with
my other readings. I now feel the need to put all of my reading materials
away, and
just go out and do something. Stop being afraid. The time for a new direction
has come. Thank you all for your honesty and love.

Terri
Date: Sat, 15 Mar 1997 21:30:46 -0500 (EST)
From: DChern1123ATnospamaol.com
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: New member introduction
Message-ID: <970315213045_1251053605ATnospamemout20.mail.aol.com>

have you tried getting a lot of physical excercise?Yoga asanas,also and a
heavier diet when"it" happens.It's good let it happen.
Date: Sun, 16 Mar 1997 02:33:05 -0500 (EST)
From: Daforce2ATnospamaol.com
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: did it work?
Message-ID: <970316023304_180098554ATnospamemout20.mail.aol.com>

lets see if this posted.
Date: Sat, 15 Mar 1997 21:11:19 -0800
From: E Jason <vv60ATnospamdial.pipex.com>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
CC: jan.watsonATnospamsympatico.ca
Subject: Re: Curious
Message-ID: <332B80F7.1AFATnospamdial.pipex.com>

E Jason wrote:
>
> Joe Patrick Flarity wrote:
>
> > > It is not sufficient to be the centre of the universe
> > > one must center the universe . . .
> > >
> > Thank you lobster for wading through the multitude of posts and spending
> > the effort to reply to mine.
>
> Why Mr Joe Patrick Flarity . . .
> 'tis my pleasure
>
>
> > When is the center not the center?
>
> To get to the other side
> eh . . .
> No wrong question - eh answer
> Start again!
> When is the center the center
> (then you can work out the opposite)
> OK
> You Love me Love You Love
> ?
> Right?
> but we are aware of separation
> the center or essence is the same but we are
> aware of our uniqueness
> I think we all accept this?
>
>
> > Unconcentric centers are difficult to maintain and when sufficiently out
> > of balance, will cast one off like an 18 wheeler retread.
> >
> > Every center you would care to assume has a corresponding universal
> > center. But, will aligning those centers result in a contraction or
> > expansion of personal awareness? I amuse myself in thinking that I
> > could tolerate extremely distasteful centers of others (like Hitler's),
> > without vibrational resistance.
>
> Well now as you may be aware
> Mr A Hitler was well developed
> through various occult practises
> in the K department
> and this is why we must err on the side of caution
> K is amoral (not immoral)
> Like the sun it shines on good and bad
> You might amuse yourself that you could tolerate
> Mr Nasties
> but in truth they would corrupt your development
> that is why our associations are important
> The point has been made that K rubs off
> but through the nature of the individual
> part of their persona may rubb off too.
>
> > The right path for me is when the effort is minimum. The right path is
> > easy. The right path doesn't displease my soul into subversive and
> > intensive micromanagement techniques.
>
> The right path is easy?
> Sure - so why not take a steeper route?
> Why?
> Well the views great
> but the choice always
> always is yours . . .
>
>
> > But, I see that others would think this hedonistic. I feel no guilt in
> > refusing to carry their cross and admire the energy they have expended
> > for their cause.
> >
> > So, what is your cause?
> >
> > Always Curious,
>
> Cause?
> Well this is a true story . . .
> Once upon a time there was a begger
> who lived in a fine kingdom
> who wished to serve the Ruler of that fine Kingdom
> but the Ruler was never seen
> and because the nobody really knew anything of the Ruler
> the beggar decided to serve the subjects of the Ruler
> and that would be the service
> and then one day after many years of aiding and helping
> and caring for the needs of the people
> it was announced that the Ruler
> would be returning to the Kingdom
> The beggar was very excited
> but no one came
> and so the people of the kingdom
> decided to make their friend, aider and protector the Ruler
> and that is how the Beggar became the Ruler
>
> the moral of this story is curious . . .
>
> Most Kind Regards
> Lobster

--
Lightening Search .> .> .> .>>.> > > >> > > >> > > >
access to 8 major search engines - no messing - check it out
http://dspace.dial.pipex.com/town/place/vv60/woad/search.html
Date: Sun, 16 Mar 1997 08:58:24 -0800
From: E Jason <vv60ATnospamdial.pipex.com>
To: Peggy Freeman <pfreemanATnospamstanford.edu>
CC: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: New member introduction
Message-ID: <332C26B0.3302ATnospamdial.pipex.com>

Hi Peggy,

Welcome
We will help
You are in the right place now . . .
People understand what you have said - many have been through
similar experiences.
Now the man you fell in Love with . . .
was a catalyst (a symbol of the sacred)
there is nothing wrong in transferring this to some deity
how you do this is up to you . . .
Clue: Man - God - Love
What is wrong with Loving someone? - no need to fight it
or get over it
What has happened is the encounters with this man
are encounters with an ideal part of yourself
Love has grown and wishes to come out . . .

> The initial experience lasted about a month and was stabilized by
> medication.

As for your diagnosis . . .
Try reading some of the works of Thomas Szas
he is a New York Freudian psychiatrist who explains
the way the witch hunts of the middle ages have
been transferred to psychiatry. They do
a lot of good but are infants playing with fire.
Keep taking the tablets all you mad people . . .
 

> I also pursued alternative healing methods because I felt physically off
> balance for a *long* time. I have meditated on and off, but usually found
> that traditional meditation made me feel worse. In fact, part of the
> problem has been that any of the recommended therapies (changes in diet,
> increase in exercise, herbal/vitamin therapy, etc.) had an adverse effect
> on me or I would have this incredibly strong intuition to stop. So, except
> for practically cutting out alcohol, I currently don't have any particular
> practice--except for reading books and some ad-hoc meditation.

FOLLOW INTUITION - every time
This is not unusual
I have had relaxing breathing techniques and meditation
cause anxiety and stress.
This is because peoples energies are different
and the
"one technique - all people" path is clearly niave.

Now the blokage
What do you feel you want or need?
Do you want people to send energy, prayers?
You only have to ask (out - you lurkers - OUT)
You'll find people will be supporting you anyway
(Hey - you prayer lurkers, God Bless you!)
Do you want to know how to talk to you heart
You sit down and talk to it
(that's right - CRAZY!)
 
We are your friends
your sacred email buddies
you have come home . . .

Most Kind Regards
(the completely insane) Lobster

PS. Have to go and meditate now
perhaps on a person called Peggy
Date: Sun, 16 Mar 1997 13:34:25 GMT
From: tyrone.waltonATnospamhhbbs.com (Tyrone Walton)
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Reactions
Message-Id: <858519265ATnospamhhbbs.com>

Hello,K-list members. I've been noticing for sometime. That certain
smells and foods have an effect on my consciousness. In my experience
it's like the begining of a acid trip. Like when you first notice that
the acid is taking effect.

What I notice usually is that my sense of sight is different then it was
before! I'm suddenly aware of the color temperature of the light in my
environment. When I notice this it causes anxiety! Or I'm suddenly aware
of my height,and its relation to other objects in my environment.

I never trip out or anything,but it is an anxiety producing experience.
When this reaction occurs I've also noticed that I am aware of my
tongue. It feels like I've touched it with a nine volt battery! I also
notice this anxiety when chanting the full mantra of the 3rd eye. But
that seems to have stopped for now.

I've stopped eating ground hamburger,and eating other peoples cooking.
To avoid this reaction. I've also taken to wearing sunglasses and where
possible turning off the lights. It seems to be working so far,but I
still have these reactions especially when I smell an odor.

Does anyone else have this experience? I also have a weird reaction
 when chanting the full mantra for the Manipura centre. You know
the fear you get when your on a high roof top(ie: empirer state
building).Where you stay away from the edge,because you have the
fear.That dispite yourself,you'll have an overwhelming urge to jump off
the building. That's the feeling I get when listening to this mantra.

Any comments? Any similar experiences with this or any other mantra?
Date: Sun, 16 Mar 1997 07:24:01 -0800 (PST)
From: Mary <chooseagainATnospamthegrid.net>
To: tyrone.waltonATnospamhhbbs.com (Tyrone Walton), kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: Reactions
Message-Id: <199703161524.HAA01628ATnospamgridsat.thegrid.net>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"

At 01:34 PM 3/16/97 GMT, Tyrone Walton wrote:
>Hello,K-list members. I've been noticing for sometime. That certain
>smells and foods have an effect on my consciousness.

>Does anyone else have this experience? I also have a weird reaction
> when chanting the full mantra for the Manipura centre. You know
>the fear you get when your on a high roof top(ie: empirer state
>building).Where you stay away from the edge,because you have the
>fear.That dispite yourself,you'll have an overwhelming urge to jump off
>the building. That's the feeling I get when listening to this mantra.
>
>Any comments? Any similar experiences with this or any other mantra?
>

I cannot help but think of the old story about the kid whose arm hurt when
he put it in a particular weird position. He was taken from doctor to doctor
to doctor and none had a cure for him. Finally he was taken to the world's
most respected specialist.

"Doctor, my arm hurts so much when I put it like this," the boy wailed.
"Can *you* help me?"

"Yes, my boy, I certainly can . . . Here's what you do . . .

 

 DON'T PUT YOUR ARM LIKE THAT!

Yes, a "Vaudville koan" about the simple stuff being so hard to see sometimes.
Date: Sun, 16 Mar 1997 11:35:51 -0800
From: E Jason <vv60ATnospamdial.pipex.com>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: Bringing kundalini up to date
Message-ID: <332C4B97.18BAATnospamdial.pipex.com>

Hi Mr T Voxfire,

with ref. to the overated Book of Lawlessness:

With all due respect (which is certainly above zero)
to the Beastie Boy AC.
I have never seen anything good come out of Thelema
and the works of AC are clearly his own subconcscious.
 
For instance as usual people are unable to understand
that this "material" is not divinely inspired.
So in the way of Magick I shall interpret it
the way it should be but few including AC
are able to . . .

<snip>

oh its gone
oh well . . .

Most Kind Regards
Lobster (the result of the subconscious)
Date: Sun, 16 Mar 1997 15:07:49 -0500 (EST)
From: CGIAJWATnospamaol.com
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Re: chakras/1, 2, 3
Message-ID: <970316150749_-1939917216ATnospamemout04.mail.aol.com>

Hey, my crown chakra was my first activated chakra, then my third eye and now
onto my heart, navel and root.

Do people know which religions/practices start their student's with the crown
chakra first? Perhaps I was with that group before, or my advancement in
past lives led this to open first in this life, or I was used to spaceyness
so that came naturally.

thanks
Aaron :)
Date: Sun, 16 Mar 1997 10:44:42 -1000 (HST)
From: Ken McFarland <kenmATnospamoregon.uoregon.edu>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: AutoPost from Kundalini Resource Center
Message-Id: <199703162044.KAA26295ATnospamhaleakala.aloha.net>

Dear Lobster,
 I have been lurking for some time and I am always delighted by your wisdom and wit. Because of my own script, which I call intellectualized narcissistic avoidance of shame, I am hypersensitive to ego-driven discourse. Of course, my discourse is always healthy and non ego-centric. In any case, I appreciate your healthy self-awareness and the outflow of love. I see in your persona an analog for my salvation.
 For everyone who likes search engines try this one, it will put you in orbit:
http://www.j-g.com/search/
My most kind regards to you,
Ken.
Date: Sun, 16 Mar 1997 12:47:00 -0800
From: Ken McFarland <kenmATnospamOREGON.UOREGON.EDU>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: Test Post
Message-id: <1.5.4.32.19970316204700.0066d240ATnospamoregon.uoregon.edu>
Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"

This was a test.
Date: Sun, 16 Mar 1997 16:03:04 -0800
From: MAX PRESCOTT <sumacATnospamwin.bright.net>
To: kundalini-lATnospamexecpc.com
Subject: response to Mary
Message-ID: <332C8A38.36D2ATnospamwin.bright.net>

I have to agree with Mary when she said "Many of us find the teacher
Within to be the Wisest of all. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves of
that. I find it hard to listen to the guidance I get at times and rebel
against it like a small child not wanting to go to bed on time. I wish I
wouldn't do that because I know that if I would listen in the first place
 things would go a lot smoother and easier. Kundalini is teaching me
that it is time to listen and to acknowledge that I really do have all
the answers. Love and Light, Colleen sumacATnospamwin.bright.net

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