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To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/10/08 16:13
Subject: Re: [K-list] The Role of Consciousness
From: Wim Borsboom

On 2000/10/08 16:13, Wim Borsboom posted thus to the K-list:

Dear Bob,

You wrote:
> Just some thoughts thrown out in an attempt to stimulate discussion
> on the practical role of consciousness in the overall K journey.

Thanks, we needed that

> In short, as we become the silent witness we not only awaken K,
> but we are in a position to observe the metamorphosis with
> detachment and ntuit the measures necessary to cope with it.

That about the silent witness is most important. In my practice when I see
that compassionate witnessing bubble up from within my clients there is such
joy. Compassion with oneself comes with it, oneness with one's inner
passion, understanding, acceptance, tolerance, a self loving appreciation
and patience.
What we call the silent witness is really the "subject being" just prior to
the use of the word 'I'. Initially, just after an 'as yet feeble' re-covery
of this witness state, the witness or the observer seems to be something
else still.

' wrappings'-and-'trappings' *

(Entrapped in our wraps.)

The inner witness (the self) does not question itself. In principle, there
is no discrepancy between the witness self (objective viewER) and the
subject self (subjective viewED). Object and subject of one's being are an
integral whole.

I remember that at some point in my life I did not appreciate too much of
myself, too long a face, women's hips, boring hair, sad face, slumped
posture, you name it. I remember clearly an instance when I (7.5 years old)
just *got made aware* of that. Funny, or actually not so, it had to do with
self-reflection, I mean literally my reflection in the mirror as I was
combing my hair and... I liked what I was, I loved what I saw. My mother
just then walked in and I started to tell her that the reason why she was so
often proud of me (and she expressed that quite often) was in fact
warranted. I told her that I had just seen that I was lovable, likable,
beautiful. But then, something she had never ever done, she pronounced me
"vain" ("ijdeltuit" in Dutch), with a strange expression on her face that I
had never seen before. I'm sure now that she did not mean it as seriously as
I processed and digested it then. But I did not know what the words 'vain'
or 'vanity' meant. Nor did I know what that expression was on her face, it
was for sure different than her pride and happiness for me. All of a sudden
I felt that the lovely person that I was, was being judged, compared to a
model, a template, torn apart as well... It was then as though I became two
entities... the one I was and the one that was perceived by an outsider who
apparently did not at that moment identify with me. I had now learned about
separation, lack of relationship. A sort of narcissistic astigmatism ensued.
Like what you see through a pair of binoculars when the width between the
eyepieces is not adjusted properly, or when the alignment of the lenses is
off after you dropped the thing. That is the way I started to view myself. I
now had fallen in line, a young fallen angel actually. I had become
self-conscious. Something that in Christianity was seen as very welcome. I
viewed myself now as inadequate, short of something, lacking, in debt,
sin-ful ('sine' meaning 'without' in Latin.) For one reason or another the
*judged and perceived me* started to prevail more and more over time. I knew
that ' my inner pain' had started or at least my reflective awareness of
it.... THAT WAS NOT GOOD. I felt violated as I got split into two
personalities it felt. Subjectivity and objectivity became very confused
concepts. I remember me and my mom discussing that... subject and object...
('onderwerp' and 'leidend voorwerp'), we even discussed the word
'reflection'. And... my mother was a good mother...
A year later I discovered that I was clairvoyant... So I guess I must have
been able to metamorphose, turn the untoward towards good. That happened
after I saw myself doing the same with one of my younger brothers as what my
mother had done with me during 'the combing my hair and the mirror event'.
But...with my brother, who was 6.5 years old then, I also managed to turn my
judgement around so to say, seeing him through his own *as yet* unjudging
and un-self-conscious eyes.
BTW, I started seeing auras around ppl. as though I scanned them from the
top down, saw donut shape colours surrounding them, their body inside. The
donut changed size, intensity and colour hues as I scanned downward or
upward. I sometimes had a sense that I was viewing people from inside me,
identifying myself with the sub-object.
Overcoming the object-subject dichotomy, that has to happen at some point in
everyone's life.
I also then found out what "sympathy" was, a sort of emotional symbiosis.
Not only feeling for the other but also feeling as I was being the other.

Ramana Maharshi did it his way:
Ramana urges the questioner (questioning, the standard stance of a dependant
disciple or devotee) to respond to him as he replies "Who is asking?" Always
leading the person back to the point where subject and object merge again.
Recovering the self, the re-integration.

The silent witness state is actually a temporary stage. Sooner or later the
self will be One again, naive again, original, one sourced, the core self
where there is no separation between the observer and the observed...
We really do harm to our children when we try to make them conscious but
when we make them self-conscious instead...

> The purpose of meditation in most traditions is to
> cultivate the silence of our innate inner awareness into daily life.
> This inner silence is our primal state, that which precedes all else,
> the fountainhead of all existence and all experience, that which is
> the experiencer in us, that which is never undone by any relative
> event


> but we are in a
> position to observe the metamorphosis with detachment and intuit the
> measures necessary to cope with it.

That detachment can also be described as disinterested interest.

> There is evidence that an awakened K alone will ultimately give
> rise to absolute bliss consciousness.

Oh so true, when K does not lead to that, one is actually hampering the
process and still in the mode of self violation

> Are there easier ways to directly introduce the bliss
> of silent awareness into the lives of those who are in the thros of K
> awakening symptoms?

Easier ways? Yes come and live with me, I am the easiest person around and I
know which buttons to click and double click and I know how and when to
flick and fiddle the switches.
Just kidding? Maybe yes, maybe no!
It is simple... truly... but so hard to do, as all of us come from a world
where bliss, love and happiness is withheld-and-given *conditionally*. This
conditional doling out and withholding, as it is done TO the receiver, is
then in turn done conditionally BY the receiver to HIM or HERSELF
One who plans to reclaim original beingness, has to see that one is
conditionally treating or mistreating oneself, self-violation, BUT one also
has to see that this withholding and conditionality is an acquired,
spoon-fed-learned behaviour, assimilated and forced under duress, one is
violated. Self-violation is something that one can and must forgive oneself
for as one is not to blame, as one was in a position of powerlessness when
that malicious conditioning took place.

Sentences are connected with the 'conditionals', words, judgemental
sentencing, damning pronouncements. Chains of logically mis-connected words,
sentences and nonsense are laid down somewhere in the nooks and crannies of
the brain, always containing doom, spells, curses, four letter words,
abusive actions, the absoluteness of 'nevers' and 'always',
unavoidabilities... and...: "No matter what... you had IT coming...."

Ah, the mucked up, wrinkled and scratched up 'mind', some kind of virtual,
manufactured or artificial brain, badly programmed, replacing the real and
clear functioning of the mechanic functional brain.
Ah, the rumpled up brain, scratched, scribbled, dog-eared and engraved with
verbose strings, messily connected with mental feelings, suffering, delusion
and illusion. Mentalized misguidance that forces deprecating action in an
environment devoid of freedom, commanding malicious acts while overriding
self healing corrections. Engrams, one thing for sure that dianetics
formulated right.

> It seems to me that sooner or later absolute
> bliss consciousness has to arise in every K awakened individual.

That is no big ticket, there are as many bodhisattvas now as there ever were
to realize that expectation with and for so many of us: "them willing."

Can't wait, but heaven has to :-)
You can tell a bodhisattva by his or her PQ
(Patience Quotient)

> The question is, How and when?

NOW and like THIS, that is obvious.
When the question stops the answer reveals itself.

Now who was asking?

> universality of self. To me, this is the fruit of the K journey, the
> gradual unfolding of consciousness (self) to an eternal cosmic scale,
> gradually transcending habitual dependencies on the temporal
> existence of this world.

I do live *this here now* as an integral part of the miracle though Bob!
Don't you?





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