kundalini-l-d Digest Volume 96 : Issue 279
1 Date: Wed, 18 Dec 1996
From: Aleyiaha Anonatuk
Subject: Cosmic Lonliness
I hesitated at putting on the list for some time as I haven't done and
intro yet and I have put it on another list. The lonliness that is
experienced as a disciple stepping onto the path is not the normal
depression nor can it be cured by a kick in the butt. [Incidently no true
depression.]
>It is the soul calling for his/her beloved and this can onlt be solved
through reintregration Here is a method I have used and found it very
worthwhile, begin the meditation as an exercise in imagination at somepoint
in time the divine aspect of yourself will begin to take over and you will
know there is no seperation between you and what is. Perhaps this also can
serve as an intro to me Aley
>
>>I do this little out of body thing where I find myself out there in the
starfields where there is sound and light so exquisite that your body is
unable to contain this state of joy without finding some away to express
itself I begins to dance, to experience this sound and light on levels
incomprehensible to your my everyday existance.
>>
>>It is true when they say know you are all that is, your whole body my body
touches all, feels all, knows all. I cannont seperate myself from this
wholeness. There is so much joy, so much love, that I find myself dancing
attempting in some way to express what I am feeling.
>>
>>The stars become the gossamer drapings of my hair and clothing swirling in
a never ending river of stars that sounds forth the music of the spheres as
I dance to the inner knowing, I am Creator, Goddess, all knowing, bliss
filling my heart, my mind, my body, with such joy that I explode into
formlessness, and I find myself particle, wave, sound, light, conscious of
me yet of all that I am, there is this sea of knowingness this
indescribeable love nothing is apart from me. I cannot tell the difference
between me, and all that is, yet I know that I am a consciousness unique
within this wave. This is one of the most remarkable things I know I am me
out there, in here. I know that I am the furthest point of the universe and
I have full consciousness of it, yet I know also I am here having full
consciousness of this.
>>
>>When I focus on a particle within this wave, all of the history of the
particle is revealed to me in vision, and tones the dance of life revealing
itself to me within this state of love, surrendering all that it is to the
love that I am as the wave as the whole of all that is.
>>
>>I cannot describe this, it is beyong all there is to know, the knowing
only a small part of the gift of the surrendering. I speak in I's here to
try to identify what we as human experience, but this is so wrong because
the I is the least of it, it is the whole, but the I identifying as a part
of the whole. Aley
>
-------------------------------------------------
You will find me walking time through fields of woven stardust
Listening to the heart song that spins the stars in the midnight sky
dornbATNOSPAMmailbmts.com
-------------------------------------------------
2 Date: Wed, 18 Dec 1996
From: Jim Cook
Subject: Re: Cosmic Loneliness
-
At 05:30 PM 12/18/96 +0200, you wrote:
>Yes, when you think how less fortunate people are there in the world you
>start to appreciate what you have. But still it doesn't last long. People
>forget. And sometimes I feel so lonely, pointless and depressed that I
>cannot even think, not to matnion move.
>
>
Poor David !!
- You poor little guy must be crying your little bittsy
eyes out.
Poor little David. Ha , Ha
Dear list members,
I just found out that "David" is a total fake.
Jim
-
3 Date: Wed, 18 Dec 1996
From: "B."
Subject: Re: Cosmic Loneliness
David who?
On Wed, 18 Dec 1996, Jim Cook wrote:
> At 05:30 PM 12/18/96 +0200, you wrote:
> >Yes, when you think how less fortunate people are there in the world you
> >start to appreciate what you have. But still it doesn't last long. People
> >forget. And sometimes I feel so lonely, pointless and depressed that I
> >cannot even think, not to matnion move.
> >
> >
> Poor David !!
>
> You poor little guy must be crying your little bittsy
> eyes out.
> Poor little David. Ha , Ha
>
> Dear list members,
>
> I just found out that "David" is a total fake.
>
> Jim
>
-
/
__ //
-\= \=\ //
--=_\=---//=-- -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
-_==/ \/ //\/-- Borce Gorgievski
=/ /O O\==-- ==================
_ _ _ _ /_/ \ ] /-- American University in Bulgaria
/\ ( (- \ / ] ] ]==- -----------------
(\ _\_\_\-\__/ \ (,_,)-- borceATNOSPAMcos.aubg.bg
(\_/ \ \- borceATNOSPAMslin.aubg.bg
\/ / ( ( \ ] /) borceATNOSPAMcc.aubg.bg
/ ( \ \_ \./ ) borceATNOSPAMgeocities.com
( \ \ ) \ ----------------------
( /\_ _ _ _ /---/ /\_ \ http://www.aubg.bg/~borce
\ / \ / ____/ / \ \ http://members.tripod.com/~borce
( / ) / / /__ ) ( ) http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/6374
( ) / __/ '---ATNOSPAM / / _______
\ / \ \ _/ /
] ] )_\_ /__\/ Every Woman and every Man is a Star
- /_\ ]___\ Liber AL
(___)
4 Date: Wed, 18 Dec 1996
From: Peter Norton
Subject: Re: Cosmic Loneliness
B. wrote:
>
> Yes, when you think how less fortunate people are there in the world you
> start to appreciate what you have. But still it doesn't last long. People
> forget. And sometimes I feel so lonely, pointless and depressed that I
> cannot even think, not to matnion move.
hey B.
sounds like real depression to me. how about trying standard
therapy for depression? It may help
to give you a break from the blues and allow a change of
scene to happen. If you are at school, I am sure there is a clinic
there that could help you.
I tried Zoloft/Prozac and talk therapy once for
about six months and it helped get me through. If you just
want a break from it, it's worth a shot. Also, something simple like
changing your sleep habits can help a lot, try getting up at
5am and sleeping a little less than you normally do, a few days
of that usually helps my mood a lot. There is a lot of wisdom
in the old prescription of 'fasting and praying' too. Physical
excercise out in the open does wonders too. Mountain biking out
on some forest trails ... ahhh!
Then again, I have read that Cosmic Loneliness is Reality, as in
'the flight of the Alone to the Alone'.
take care
-
5 Date: Mon, 16 Dec 1996
From: E Jason
Subject: Re: "K" shoos
Jan Watson wrote:
> > > "Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull
> > > of what you really love" -- Rumi
> >
> > them snakes
> > them snakes
> > them wild snakes!
> >
> > Now that there Rumi
> > he had a major snake infestation
> > coz'
> What does this mean? I've read Rumi extensively and can't
> seem to understand what you're saying. I'm assuming you're
> doing more than just a cut-up here because your humour has
> an edge of reality to it generally. Here, I'm missing it.
Rumi, Rumi
Where fore art thou Rumi
Is he in Heaven
Is he in Hell
What DOES it mean?
-
> > What is Real
> > She will not pull
> > What is Real
> > She's not strong
> > What is Real
> > She is not
OK one simple explanation (never explain a joke and expect a laugh):
the Real here could be Sophia
- Do not expect her to come to you
You must go to her
(What is Real - She will not pull)
Wisdom is in weakness.
Our capacity for understanding is limited
(What is Real - She's not strong)
In Fana il Fana (the annihilation of annihilation)
Even Wisdom must be absent
(What is Real - She is not)
and rememember . . .
them snakes
them snakes
them wild snakes!
> Oh - loved the ARC posting.
Good - thank you.
> And - welcome.
Glad to be here.
I attempted to be elsewhere
and am still here . . .
> Are you "lobster" like Prufrock? or "lobster" as in exoskeltal, or
> lobster as in sense of humour and good dipped in butter?
Yes
and none of the above
Perhaps
Lobster as in . . .
Most Kind Regards
Lobster
6 Date: Wed, 18 Dec 1996
From: David Mitchell
Subject: Re: Cosmic Loneliness
>To: Jim Cook
>From: David Mitchell
>
>At 08:42 AM CDT 12/18/1996 -0800, you wrote:
>>At 05:30 PM 12/18/96 +0200, you wrote:
>>>Yes, when you think how less fortunate people are there in the world you
>>>start to appreciate what you have. But still it doesn't last long. People
>>>forget. And sometimes I feel so lonely, pointless and depressed that I
>>>cannot even think, not to matnion move.
>>>
>>>
>> Poor David !!
>>
>> You poor little guy must be crying your little bittsy
>> eyes out.
>> Poor little David. Ha , Ha
>>
>> Dear list members,
>>
>> I just found out that "David" is a total fake.
>>
>> Jim
>
>Jim, I didn't write what you just quoted above. That was written by Bruce,
who was responding to something I wrote. Please don't be so hasty in your
judgements.
>
>In peace,
>David
>
----- ----- ----- -----
An analog man trapped in a digital world
David Mitchell
dmitchelATNOSPAMcjnetworks.com
-
7 Date: Wed, 18 Dec 1996
From: Eagle
Subject: Re: Cosmic Loneliness
Jim Cook wrote:
>
> At 05:30 PM 12/18/96 +0200, you wrote:
> >Yes, when you think how less fortunate people are there in the world you
> >start to appreciate what you have. But still it doesn't last long. People
> >forget. And sometimes I feel so lonely, pointless and depressed that I
> >cannot even think, not to matnion move.
> >
> >
> Poor David !!
>
> You poor little guy must be crying your little bittsy
> eyes out.
> Poor little David. Ha , Ha
>
> Dear list members,
>
> I just found out that "David" is a total fake.
>
> Jim
And Jim
will you please tell us the basis of this very sound judgment you have
just made?
-
Eagle
May the Spirit of Love
that surrounds us at Christmas
fill your heart
and shed its light over the New Year
-
8 Date: Wed, 18 Dec 1996
From: redormanATNOSPAMplix.com (Dorman, Robert )
Subject: Re: Cosmic Loneliness
Jim Cook wrote:
>
> At 05:30 PM 12/18/96 +0200, you wrote:
> >Yes, when you think how less fortunate people are there in the world you
> >start to appreciate what you have. But still it doesn't last long. People
> >forget. And sometimes I feel so lonely, pointless and depressed that I
> >cannot even think, not to matnion move.
> >
> >
> Poor David !!
>
> You poor little guy must be crying your little bittsy
> eyes out.
> Poor little David. Ha , Ha
>
> Dear list members,
>
> I just found out that "David" is a total fake.
>
> Jim
Who's David? I thought we were talking about "B.", i.e., Borce
Gorgievski?
Nice of you to say "David" is a fake without any substantiation.
--Bob
-
9 Date: Wed, 18 Dec 1996
From: Christopher Williams
Subject: Cosmic Loneliness a gift
In message , "B."
writes
snip
> Is there anyone here who has felt that Somic Loneliness? When you
>feel extremely, outrageously lonely you cannot move, and without any
>reason at all.
snip
> Any cure?
B:
Any cure? yes and no. As the other posts have pointed out we have all
shared to some degree this mood. It has good years and bad years, what
does help is being able to put it in context.
-
No there is not a cure. This appears to be part of the human condition
and gives depth and strenght to your life. Don't wish away this
priceless gift.
Yes you can do something about putting the feeling in context. You may
have read it but as a start try IRON JOHN by Robert Bly. You may not
agree with his idea that this is part of male inner development but it
may help you start to place your life within some scale of meaning.
You may not ever find a cure but you could use the loneliness to
discover meaning and purpose, inner meaning and purpose. Some people
call this a Quest. A gift from the gods, or Goddess if K is behind it.
Good luck and happy Xmas.
Christopher Williams
-
10 Date: Wed, 18 Dec 1996
From: "L.D. McClanahan"
Subject: Science Within Consciousness/India
Hi,
Would like members of this list to know of my trip to India. I
will be leaving 12-26-96 from San Francisco, laying over in Singapore,
arriving in Madras 12-28-96. On 12-29-96 will fly to Bangalore for the
Vivekananda Kendra where we will practice meditation and study quantum
physics as relates to consciousness. Dr. Amit Goswami, professor of
physics, author of "The Self-Aware Universe will speak about the links
between consciousness and quantum physics, as will Dr. Henry Swift,
professor emerti of physics. About 30 of us are going, mostly members
of Noetic Science organization which studies consciousness.
From Kendra we will visit some nearby temples at nearby Mysore.
We will also take a trip to Sai Baba's ashram.
On 1-8-97 we leave Bangalore for Calcutta to attend the 2nd
Congress for the Synthesis of Science & Religion at Bhaktivendanta
Institute.
- I mention this trip because many of you may have the curiosity
to wonder, as I do, how Kundalini works--its subtle energy connection to
physics. I also mention my trip because some of you have noted my
scientific bent of mind and thought some of my natural curiosity about
the human condition had some motive such as doing research or writing a
book. I seem to switch back and forth between that left hemisphere and
the right--and during meditation experience that total integration as
energy moves about. . . Besides too much curiosity, I have insatiable
appetite for information.
For the past two years I have been collecting titles about
Kundalini, meditation, near death experiences, out of body experiences,
and healing, which relate directly to my psychology practice, the use of
hypnosis, and the many stories people share with me in my office as they
try to find peace and harmony with their lives.
The bibliography is now over 7 pages long, and though in rough
shape style-wise, it is the most complete list I have seen available,
except possible is some of those books whose topics are more limited.
If you would like me to send you an e-mail copy, please send me your
e-mail request after the week of 1-27-97 when I should have more time to
respond. Preparation for leaving and my practice have kept me quite
busy these past few weeks.
Don't ask me why, but I'm compelled to ask if any of you have
any special message for me about my trip or want me to accomplish some
kind of task while there?
As of Saturday I shall delist from the K web site until I
return. I could not possibly keep up with all the posts while I am
gone. Though I have not felt the time or urge to comment much lately on
the chat site, I do feel that I have gotten to know some of you because
of your comments and concerns you have shared.
So, God Bless! Till later, L.D.
-
11 Date: Wed, 18 Dec 1996
From: maryATNOSPAMdragontree.com
Subject: lonliness & Oz
I wonder....
My own life has been for the most part solitary, like Dorothy in Kansas.
So when I have feelings/glimspses of 'invisible friends' around (while
doing healings etc), I have always thought they were from past lives in
a big family, etc. That it was a glimpse into the kind of life more
social, 'normal' people really have.
But sometimes I wonder. If maybe there's a kind of lonliness that needs
disembodied spirit friends to fill it, not other (usually busy or
bewildered) humans. If when I'm with people at a party etc, maybe that
is just a chance for the good spirits to come around, without being
dismissed as illusion....
-
Mary
12 Date: Wed, 18 Dec 1996
From: fluteATNOSPAMprodigy.com (CAROLYN MALONEY)
Subject: new k symptom
The butterfly is a symbol of transformation .. of the lower form
giving way and growing into the higher levels.. I use a macro of a
butterfly in my Healing Circle all the time..
flute
13 Date: Wed, 18 Dec 1996
From: fluteATNOSPAMprodigy.com (CAROLYN MALONEY)
Subject: Re: Question???
I have a story to relate... amazing stuff..
on the way out the door, I realized that no one had disconnected the
outside lights on the porch. So I reached down to the metal outside
plug and proceeded to pull out the christmas lights plug from it. My
keys fell from my purse onto my hand, hitting the prong of the half
inserted plug. There was a loud Pop.. My hand and the keys were
black. I looked down and my finger had a small abrasion on the side.
The diameter was small however the tissue underneath the skin was
showing and had already started oosing.. Needless to say I went to
the Doctor. They put antibotic on it gave me a large dose of Blood
Pressure medicine.. My blood pressure was extremely high. and sent me
home..
I got home and began to look around at what had happened to the plug
and lights.. The lights are ruined and completely blown out. The
prongs on the plug are black and one prong has a huge hole in the
side.. The keys that fell on my hand have melted metal on them from
the prong. The outlet is black and will not function.. and the
circuit for that part of the house is blown.. Hummmmm
Today I got up.. and .. the place on my finger was almost healed up.
weird.. so I put a bandaid on it so I dont' hit it at work..
(incidently it never did hurt). As I look at it now.. there is only
a red spot where a ugly hole in the skin was yesterday. Girls at
work teased me because my hair has gray tinge.. but I never felt
anything. My daughter laughed all day saying.. I just needed
grounding and the Reiki Guides did that for me and healed my finger
in the process.. laughing.
Flute
aka
Carolyn Maloney
-
14 Date: Tue, 17 Dec 1996
From: E Jason
Subject: Re: New Age Thinking
CAROLYN MALONEY wrote:
>
> what's ARC?
> flute
-
Hi Flute,
ARC
is the
Association to
Rekindle
Cundalini
(of course it is spelt with a See)
What's Flute?
-
Kindest Regards
Lobster
15 Date: Wed, 18 Dec 1996
From: SYL228ATNOSPAMaol.com
Subject: Re: Question
Tim:
I have had many dreams which came true. On an almost daily basis I dream
about information which I then read in the next chapter of whatever book I am
currently reading----as if I were taking a sneak peak in my sleep.
The most startling of these type experiences was when I dreamed about 3 times
in the course of one year that I had broken my right leg above the ankle. The
way I broke it wasn't clear because it seemed to be related to more achetypal
information such as the lamed sacred king.
-
But wouldn't you know it the last time I woke up full of dread, and then did
break my leg very unexpectedly the next week---in you've guessed it the same
place as the dream.
Did I have a precognition, or produce this myself? who can say?
I've also had warnings of a car crash, and dreamt about the Challenger before
it happened.
I've learned to take my dreams very very seriously. So I would say you are
probably opening up to this reality so be very open to it. It can help you
rather than hinder.
Love Jule
16 Date: Wed, 18 Dec 1996
From: lodpressATNOSPAMinetworld.com (Gloria Greco)
Subject: Re: Humor -- Swami Beyondananda
Eagle wrote:
>
> Dear Swami:
> I've been building up some terrific karmic debts this lifetime, and all I
> can say is, I hope the universe's interest rates are lower than the ones
> I'm paying on my Visa card. I'll be blunt, Swami. Is there any way to
> negotiate on this? After all the high-rolling this time around, I dont't
> think I can handle a lower birth.
> Otto Edloch
> Las Vegas, NV
>
> Dear Otto:
>
> Well, you do have a few choices. You could declare moral bankruptcy and
> try to cut a deal with the Eternal Revenue Service. A good universal
> lawyer could probably get you off with about 3000 years of community
> service. Or you could apply for an Ascended Master-Card and borrow
> against future good deeds. Or you can do one of those consolidation
> loans for your karmic debts.
>
> You've heard of Evelyn Wood's speed-reading course? Well, I offer Swami
> Beyondananda's Speed Suffering. That is where we cram eons worth of
> suffering into one miserable week. You wil hate it! But hey, when
> you're done you'll have no more karma paymeents and you'll own your life
> free and clear.
>
> Personally, my suggestion is for you to stop running up all that karmic
> debt and start paying it back, however slowly. You know that Karmic
> Relief benefit they have every year? If I were you, I would start
> donating some good deeds to those less fortunate. (You might even want
> to start by donating the deed to that condo.) And don't be concerned
> with getting a lower birth. Upper birth, lower birth -- it makes no
> difference. All of us are on the same train bound for the same
> destination.
Great post, that's fun. Thanks. Gloria
-
17 Date: Wed, 18 Dec 1996
From: lodpressATNOSPAMinetworld.com (Gloria Greco)
Subject: Re: Cosmic Loneliness
Dorman, Robert wrote:
>
> B. wrote:
> >
> > Hi all
> >
> > I've been on this list for quite a while just reading, but I
> > decided to post this because I thought someone may encountered the same
> > feeling.
> > Is there anyone here who has felt that Somic Loneliness? When you
> > feel extremely, outrageously lonely you cannot move, and without any
> > reason at all. Even if you have a girlfriend, many good friends, doing
> > great in your studies, always among the best, people like you and you
> > feel so lonely and remote. Sometimes when there are many people arround
> > it goes away, but after a while at some moment it reurns even stronger
> > and levels you to the ground.
> > Any cure?
> >
> I've been there. I'm so sorry you are suffering this way; it is truly a
> hellish condition. The difference with me was that I didn't have the
> girlfriend or good friends, was doing lousy in my studies, most people
> didn't like me, and, yes, I sure was lonely and remote. I felt that the
> only people that "loved" me were the ones obligated to, like my parents.
> I was in college in New York at the time (SUNY at Stony Brook). One
> night it got really bad. I went out to the mall in front of the library
> and sat on a bench--it was about 2am and foggy. I saw this shadow
> comming toward me. It was a figure--a young woman. She was walking
> toward me. ME? Impossible! Next thing I knew, she sat down on the bench
> next to me...just sat; didn't say a word. Our silence was like a cosmic
> explosion! Each of us felt the other's pain and loneliness, and at the
> same time, healed each other. I finally felt that I really was
> important to the universe; that I had worth; that what I was and what I
> did and what I thought really mattered. I had come face to face with
> the darkness within me, and found...LIGHT! Then, she got up and left.
> I don't remember if I ever saw her again--I don't think so. But, I was
> transformed.
>
> You ask for a cure? You don't want a cure. As terrible as this may
> feel now, it is a vital step on your path of spiritual awakening. Have
> courage and remember that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. And, I don't mean just
> that you have the suport of the members of this list. There are those,
> invisable to you, that have deep concern and love for you and are
> watching over you and guiding you. Trust in yourself. Learn all that
> you can from this experience. One day you will look back at it as one
> of the most important experiences of your life. "When you walk through
> the storm, hold your head up high, and don't be afraid of the dark," as
> the song goes. You WILL get through this and you WILL be OK.
> --Bob
>
Bob,
That was really a wonderful sharing, it is exactly the truth and is so
important to recognize. You found that your doubts, darkness and lack of
self esteem was all a part of your internal image of yourself. And, if
you project it others respond to it. If you truly love and recognize the
highest good within you it will also address that and tune into the
needs of others. It is so true that how we see ourselves is what is
projected out when she meet that Christ within, that is what projects
through your creation of your self. Gloria
18 Date: Wed, 18 Dec 1996
From: Mary Knapp
Subject: Re: Cosmic Loneliness
At 03:35 PM 12/18/96 +0200, B. wrote:
I have a feeling that I've been watched and helped, but
>that's just not enough. I need my purpose in life, something to strive
>forr, that will fulfill me and make me happy.
> B.
Your purpose will not be given to you. Your purpose will not be uncovered
or discovered. Instead you will create it. You will create it out of a
desire to help, You will create it out of compassion, You will create it out
of concern for others. It will fulfill you it will make you happy,
but that will no longer matter very much. Get it?
Mary