kundalini-l-d Digest                            Volume 96 : Issue 103 


Date: Mon, 19 Aug 1996 
From: mxoATNOSPAMpyrite.som.cwru.edu (Maimu Alber)
Subject: Re: Sleep 

At 05:42 PM 8/19/96 -0400, Arlene Benjamin wrote:
>Greetings All,
>
>Maimu: please be careful with melatonin. Would you try some lavender in your 
>pillowcase, instead? There are many wonderful, natural remedies available.

Thanks for your words of concern, Arlene.  I will definitely try lavendar. (It
sounds wonderful.)  However, I have been led to believe that melatonin is
natural.   Please correct me if I'm wrong.

>Does this sensitivity have to do with eyes? I am very photosensitive. I'm also
>a redhead with very fair skin. And I keep my room darkened as well.

Yes...it is my eyes.  Even during the day, glare from the sun is terrible...and
at night, headlights look so much brighter, I have a difficult time driving.  In
the winter, I must wear sunglasses for the snow. I also have to keep my computer
screen on the dim side.  And flourescent lights are just the pits...I have a
regular lamp on my desk.  Otherwise, I get awful headaches.


Maimu
-
----------------------------------------------------------------------
    When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather......
     Not screaming and crying like the passengers in his car did.



Date: Mon, 19 Aug 1996 
From: LwMema3ATNOSPAMaol.com
Subject: Re: To Debee and Cynthia
-
Debee,

I just finished reading your post about helping your friend through her divorce,
it was very beautiful and I agree that positivity and loving support can work
wonders.  Thank you for sharing your experience with us!

In Light and Love, 
Lori       

-

Date: Mon, 19 Aug 1996 
From: Wendy 
Subject: Re: Jeff and Mary

>thanks for sharing all that. i really look forward to sometime getting some
>time with nature sometime. :)
>
>Dan.
>
>

lol

hey dan grin

that's three "sometimes" in one sentence!!!!! 

the TIME is NOW 
-
you have a yard or a park nearby?????

Wendy

Leap and the net will appear.
http://www.tiac.net/users/wenders
___________________

       Midnight is when noon is born.       - Chinese proverb
___________________



Date: Mon, 19 Aug 1996 
From: Dan Gahlinger 
Subject: Re: Throat Chakra

At 01:45 PM 8/19/96 -0400, you wrote:
>It seems as there is a resistance to my conscious wanting to let go and
>allow me to fully experience unconsciousness...as if my energies are
>physically in conflict....
>
>I wonder if anyone else experiences such physical reactions during
>meditation...?
>
>Maimu

all the time Maimu, all the time. I think i described some of this, but, I go
through much the same. its really important not to forcably fight it.
-
Dan.



Date: Mon, 19 Aug 1996 
From: mxoATNOSPAMpyrite.som.cwru.edu (Maimu Alber)
Subject: Re: Jeff and Mary

At 05:06 PM 8/19/96 -0400, Dan Gahlinger wrote:
>At 01:11 PM 8/19/96 -0700, you wrote:
>>So, the trees were the best part.  A real comfort.
>>
>that was the part I was waiting to hear about.
>

ACtually, I wouldn't mind hearing a bit more myself.  When I went to Starwood, I
was able to participate in some of the Church of All Worlds pagan rituals and
gatherings.  They are very attuned to nature and worship Gaia, mother earth. 
They refer to trees quite a bit, and there is even a song we sang about being a
tree, letting our roots go deep, and stretching our branches way high....and is
so very much in line with some Taoist chi kung meditations I've been
doing...visualizations...about pulling energy from as high as possible...having
it enter at my crown...exit at my feet...and go to the center of the earth...and
then back up again...through me...and up high...and back down again to settle in
the lower Tan Tien, the lower field of the elixir....that we are like trees...a
channel between the heavens and earth....puling energy in through our
crowns...having it nurture and feed us...make us  stronger towards the
heavens....

And it just seems so eloquent, that you would have been hugging a sequoia, one of
the greatest, tallest, strongest....with it's roots deepest...and it's branches
highest....

I hope the symbolism and significance  there don't escape you..

....

I envy you....

Maimu

----------------------------------------------------------------------
    When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather......
     Not screaming and crying like the passengers in his car did.



Date: Mon, 19 Aug 1996 
From: Denise Clausen 
Subject: Re: Problems of a medium

Odette Dumas wrote:
> 
> Hello everyone,
> I'd like to share with you my experience.
> I was born a " seer " and a " voyager " as Carlos Castaneda intends.
> >From 3 to 4 years old, I received almost everyday the visit of a lady of
> 30 years old ( or so ) who taught me how to defend myself in this life
> and she was giving me hints about my future and about my own hands.
> Then, I forgot all about these " visits " ( I was awake when they occured
> ) and I remembered them when I reached my 30's, because I recognized the
> lady one morning staring at the mirror. Many pretends that it was my
> helper, but I really don't believe it. Anyway. I was seeing the auras of
> people, without knowing that it was a rare gift and I never spoke of that
> phenomenom until the age of 10: a girl from the class died and the whole
> class went to the funerarium to pay respects to the body when I shouted "
> she's not dead, she's here, floating all blue ". With dismay, the priest
> made me touch the corpse saying : " feel her arm, she's dead cold, you
> are out of your mind ! " Then I realized that I was the only one to see
> the etherical body of the dead girl and I went mute.
> At 15, my brother made me encounter a man who pretended to be a guide or
> guru. He wanted to develop my third eye abilities and expand my
> kundalini. I was totally under his control. The man was bad news, as I
> found out 2 years later... At 17, I've been mentally attacked by him or
> one of his order: I've been mentally strangulated for 30 minutes,
> fighting for a thread of air. I finally won the battle (or I wouldn't be
> here to tell ).  But I took the decision to lock my seeing powers for
> good, being too afraid of what I could experience again. Though, the
> capacities of telepathy and empathy are still operating, I rarely see
> anything else than the etherical bodies of humans, animals or plants.
> I am alone and rebel to anything or anyone who want to master me in any
> kind of way since then.
> But I have a problem since then, my throat chakra is blocked, which
> causes me problems to speak when I go emotionnal and I always have a
> minor infection at the throat and chest problems. Also, I did abuse of
> alcool and soft drugs since last March in order to mask my deeper
> feelings . Thanks God, it's over now, I'm in control of that problem.
> If anyone of you can give me hints on how to unblock my throat chakra, it
> would be wonderful.
> Odette


This is how I can open chakras, Do you know how it looks when you look thru a 
calidyscope. how when you turn the thing it goes from a point then opens up big,
well pretend the point is in your neck then very gently, mentally open your
throat up as though you were turning a calidyscope untill you feel something and
then stop. Hope this helps, let me know.
         Yours Truly
          Denise
-


Date: Mon, 19 Aug 1996 
From: Arlene Benjamin 
Subject: Melatonin

Greetings,

Maimu: I heard on the news"eeks"(something I don't normally watch), that they are
finding adverse effects to using melatonin as a sleep aid. I'll see if I can find
out more details about it. It's the way of the world of WONDER DRUGS!!

I have to wear sunglasses in winter,too, and at night I have trouble with the
lights. It hurts. I feel like a mole coming up out of the Earth into the
sunlight. 
*******
Dan: You mean unique, like the rest of us??? LOL!!!

Namaste'...Arlene
-
H is for His
E is for empathy
A is for allows
L is for Love*



Date: Mon, 19 Aug 1996 
From: Dan Gahlinger 
Subject: Re: Jeff and Mary

At 06:08 PM 8/19/96 -0400, you wrote:
>>thanks for sharing all that. i really look forward to sometime getting some
>>time with nature sometime. :)
>>
>>Dan.
>>
>lol
>
>hey dan grin
>
>that's three "sometimes" in one sentence!!!!! 
>
>the TIME is NOW 
>
>you have a yard or a park nearby?????

nope, and nope. and it doesnt seem to help much. i was out by the lake a few
months back, the "lady of the lake" tried to pull me in. it was nice, but it
wasnt enough. nothing is enough any more...

Dan.
>Wendy
>
>Leap and the net will appear.
>http://www.tiac.net/users/wenders
>___________________
>
>       Midnight is when noon is born.       - Chinese proverb
>___________________
>
>
Dan.
There are always possibilities...



Date: Mon, 19 Aug 1996 
From: GrandmmaATNOSPAMaol.com
Subject: Re: Void

Wendy
Thank you for your thoughts on the poem.  You made my day.  Love  & light Jean



Date: Mon, 19 Aug 1996 
From: LwMema3ATNOSPAMaol.com
Subject: Re: What is happening?
-
I have not recieved any posts from Kundalini in the past 2 days, and before
that some messages were coming through 2 or 3 times and it seems that others
are not there?  Am I the only person having this problem or is it happening
to others?  Waiting to hear from you all again.......
Light and Love, 
Lori



-
Date: Mon, 19 Aug 1996 
From: LwMema3ATNOSPAMaol.com
Subject: Re: On sending love, and helping friends.

Jule,
I really enjoyed reading how you approached conflicts your children encountered
while growing up, it is wonderful to get children started on the positive and to
not focus on the negative.  I applaud you, and wish more people would do the same
thing you did for your children.  "Love can take care of anything"! :D
Thank you for sharing!

Sending Light and Love,
Lori



Date: Mon, 19 Aug 1996 
From: "Debee L. Thomas" 
Subject: Re: Sorry - Goodbye =-<
-
> without a smile and good intentions attached, I am perceived by some as 
> being irreverent, silly, ungenuine, and even malicious. I regret that 
> more deeply that I can express - and feel that others may have the same 
> low opinion of me and my experience. And rather than risk to continue 
> offending, I bid all farewell - many of you have given me a sense of 
> validity that I will always cherish, thank you.

I think it is sad that people can not simply respect one another in spite  of
differences.  It saddens me to think that people would judge another 
irregardless of circumstances, differences of opinion, experience etc.   None of
us are in any position to judge another soul.  We have our hands  full enough
with taking care of self.  This should be our priority.  I'm  sorry to see you go
Daniel.  I wish you all the best and hope that some  day you will return.


Like attracts like.
Whatever the conscious mind thinks and believes, the subconscious  identically
creates.
-- Brian Adams "How to Succeed"
-
If you would learn the secret of right relations look only for the divine  in
people and things, and leave all the rest to God. -- J. Allen Boone  "Kinship
with all Life"

Blessed Be

Debee


-
Date: Mon, 19 Aug 1996 
From: SYL228ATNOSPAMaol.com
Subject: To Gemini Dan

Hi Dan:
You mentioned a lot of things when describing your experiences.  First of all the
eyes.  My uncle's eyes changed from brown to blue and he didn't even experience
"K".  My own eyes turn from grey, to blue to green to turquoise depending on what
I am wearing, the sun, and my mood.  
-
When I first went through "K" I had a massive cleansing which involved colds,
fever and all kinds of waves of "K" in my head.  since I've always had
sinus/allergy problems, this seemed  to be the way my body cleansed me.  Now
after 4 years I think of "k' as the great healer.  I am much better these days.

My vibrations are much higher.  I feel as if I actually radiate energy.  This
became noticeable immediately with "K" and has remained so ever since. I've not
experienced your sun sensitivity but I did get red stigmata like marks, that
looked like burns around the eyes.  This occured when my heart chakra opened
about 18 years ago and then again 4 years ago.  Recently I've had these marks
around the nose.  

We do change tastes, and friends with these experiences.  But curiously I've
found myself more able to tolerate others who I had drifted away from in the
early years.  I seem to be re-embracing some things again.  It all seems to be
stages.  Then we go back to an old phase but at a higher turn of the spiral so we
can look at it differently.

I do find that I regard everyone as important, and so my family aren't the only
people in my life as they are for some.  And this is from a very down to earth
Taurus, but I do have Leo rising when I think about it----fire, fire and more
fire!

Love Jule



Date: Mon, 19 Aug 1996 
From: SYL228ATNOSPAMaol.com
Subject: To Mary, Denise and Arlene

Mary:

I really related to your post about the realization of what the throat chakra
is about.  
My feeling is that the body is a kind of container for mind/spirit but these
reside in the head.  The throat chakra is the bridge between the two.  One
day as we evolve they will be truly one.

Also liked your thoughts on love and spirit coming through in teaching.
 Until recently I used to teach piano, and people would tell me I had a gift with
kids.  What they were referring to wasn't any special teaching skills per se, so
much as being myself.  I would consciously try to be as loving and caring as I
could.  This always comes through even when people can't put a name to it.

Denise and Arlene: 
Re the discussion on healing.  I agree with Arlene about the fact not everyone
wants to be healed.  It is a very complicated thing.  some people learn more from
their illness.  these days it may even be "K" manifesting!  
-
I have done some healing myself, but I found that sometimes the person would be
healed only to manifest another illness later.  The reason being that they either
had not addressed the underlying causes of the illness, or they needed some kind
of illness in their life. Most healing is in the end self-healing whether it is a
physical of an emotional illness.  Some folks do not want to do the work to be
healed.  They flock to healers in some cases because they are looking for someone
else to do it for them.  

At any rate that is why I send  love and only love.  It is spiritual, and
spiritual healing is the highest form and in the end will heal everything if the
recipient truly wishes to be 
healed.

Love Jule



Date: Mon, 19 Aug 1996 
From: V487ATNOSPAMaol.com
Subject: Re: Re The Guru Thing!

Hi: Tej

I hope you know that I was joking with you on my last post. :) :):) You said have
some fun.

As alway,
Von

- ----------------------------------------
 
 >, My idea of mentioning that we can have some fun disagreeing  was 
 to point out that the kind of discussion we can have on this list.
 cannot easily have with a guru etc. Thereby, one does not discover one's 
 own way. I believe that the existence has created each one of us as a 
 unique manifestation of its expression. We have to discover our own way 
 individually, eventually.<
 >>

-

Date: Mon, 19 Aug 1996 
From: SnowbirdVATNOSPAMgnn.com
Subject: Re: Warning Label: Long email.

I can't keep up these days with the list the way it swelled up. But this is a 
good thing since talking about it and learning from others makes it more 
bearable. 

Me and my friend both have had the k awakening and interestingly enough, she 
lost her father, with whom she had a close relationship, and I lost my  mother,
with whom my relationship was tenuous on account of things of the  past. She
suffered from lymphoma and she was sick a whole year during which I  hoped to
clear things up with her but then she got deaf on me. That's when I  started
being aware of spirits in my house and rediscovering the psychic  abilities I
always denied.

As for the feet, I ALWAYS feel strong vibrations in both of them. From what I 
read in the past, people's sensation can differ from pain to burning  sensations
to vibrating sensations and so forth.

I think the physical aspect is what makes us notice the change in the  beginning
and then we start to really examine our beliefs system. Right now  I'm trying to
go through the traditional route and I'm reading up a lot these  days. Got back
to hatha yoga and will start raja yoga soon. That's why I'm  kind of overcome by
the sheer amount of messages. But I can relate to what  you're feeling since I
too wonder about every aspect all the time. Nothing is  set for ever. Things
change all the time. I don't know that I'll ever get to  the end of it.

Love to all.

P.S. A few months ago I couldn't enter a public place without feeling my 3rd 
chakra ripped open. Now, it's the brow and crown chakra that start to  accelerate
when I enter a busy place. Still have the waves in the face and  the pressure on
both sides near the ears. Any suggestion out there?


>Hi All,
>
>Interesting posts lately...I can barely keep up.  Sometimes it's
>overwhelming there are so many 'threads' I connect with and want to respond
>to but most of you all 'say it all' "for" me or before I have even been
> able
>to put the stuff into words!  
>
>Dan, I'm amazed at all the physical manifestations you describe!  You seem
>pretty ok with all the changes.....like it hasn't thrown you for a
>'loop'..... (I've done several 'loops'!!!!!! dizzying sometimes!) and I'm
>curious to know how others close to you have reacted to the changes (esp
>things like eye color, etc..how remarkable)?  I'll also be interested to
>hear if others know of what you describe in terms of the sensitivity when
>being touched, shook hands with, etc.  I am way way way too opened up to
>taking in pain and this has caused me many times to isolate myself from
>others just to keep up my strength at times.  Distance.  I hope someday to
>be able to sit with it around everyone and not have it be so intense.
>Suggestions welcome.
>
>I've heard a lot of talk now about awakening the kundalini through various
>practices and spontaneous awakenings, both.  Have any of you ever seen or
>made any kind of direct correlation to spontaneous awakenings and
>experiences with the death or loss of someone close to you?
>
>I keep trying to 'pinpoint' my own kundalini.....and can't even begin to be
>as specific as most of you are in knowing when it began and which
>experiences are k related or not.  I  *think* it began about 4 years
>ago....but the more I read/hear/discuss this with others, I think it was
>probably going on a lot longer.  Sometimes I just have to let go of even
>thinking this is 'k' and just 'exist'...and not try to figure it all out.
>But, the mind wants to 'know'...and inevitably I find myself looking for
>answers/information/validation again.  
>
>Someone here, sorry I can't recall who right now, mentioned that many of
>these things that we've experienced might actually be precursors to K
> rather
>than full blown K having already begun.  Again, sometimes it's too
> confusing
>to even try to sort out for me.  If in fact this is k i've been
>experiencing, it has been a roller coaster ride unlike anything imaginable.
>And came totally unexpectedly and with no preparation on my part.  Highs,
>lows, but all through it has been this White Light beacon making it 'ok.'
>
>Even right now, as I try to get across whatever it is I'm tryin to say 
> I
>feel very 'fuzzy' headed about it all.  Spacey.
>
>I've had a lot of stuff with my feet and circulation lately.  It comes and
>goes.  My feet hurt frequently.  The tops and soles - the pain is usually
>isolated to one or two spots but the spots aren't always in the same place
>when they're hurting.  >the pain go elsewhere??????>
>
>I think I'm pretty out of touch with a lot of what people describe here
> that
>has happened to them physically.  Don't know if that's because it simply
>hasn't 'manifested' strongly  enough in that way or I just am not
>able to 'feel' it very specifically.  Does this make sense to anyone?  I
>don't want to make things more complicated than they already have BECOME
>from all this in my life!!!
>
>As far as the connection with death, I'm curious because I've been learning
>more about the experiences people have had with NDE.  Awhile after what to
>me *felt* like what is described as a full blown k awakening my dad died.
>Just BEFORE he died I was having a lot of psychic stuff (even before he
>became ill).  Not with or about him but with others.  Automatic writing.
>Etc. etc.
>
>I know when anyone close has died before in my life, before any stirrings
>(or awareness perhaps?) of kundalini, I have always felt *very* connected
>with their Spirit and sensing them 'leave' their physical bodies and return
>to spirit.  Even when I was not present with them at their death or even
>close by.  (Hope my terminology isn't too crude or innaccurate to get my
>point across here....)
>
>I think the words some of you wrote to Dan about his son and death were so
>beautiful and 'right.'  I have a friend who is only 19 who is having
> surgery
>for an enlarged thyroid in a week or so.  He's been losing weight really
>quickly and, until a talk we had recently, I felt he was making light of
>both his illness and his fear.  Denial. Had been for about a month before
> he
>finally was convinced by a close friend to seek medical help.  I know how
>valuable denial can be when we 'need' it (for whatever reason at the time
> we
>do) and I just hoped and prayed for him that he'd break through it and
> start
>being more actively involved in his own ability to self heal.
>Visualizations work, etc etc.  We had a talk the other night and I tried to
>explain to him what you all put so succinctly into words  here for Dan and
>his son.  I am going to send him those posts too!!!!   They say it so much
>simpler and 'better' than I was able to when talking with him.  But, I told
>him what I 'know' of death from my own experiences/perceptions.  
>
>We talked of his fear of death and when I explained what I had been shown
> he
>*got it*....it just all clicked in for him.....the Big Picture stuff.
>Hearing him understand and go with this....how it changed his awarness
> level
>and how much happier and at peace he seemed with things....letting go of
> the
>fear of 'outcome' of whether he lives or dies...and focusing on picturing
>himself the way he wishes to be....healthy and well.... well....I'm sure
>every one here can relate.  I know for my friend it was mainly on the
>intellectual level, but you also have that knowing sense when there is
> more,
>as well.  I know he 'gets it' now....and I can't begin to tell you the Joy
>in that...
>
>I'm reminded of the line "the Power and the Glory"......the power of this
>awareness continually astounds me and challenges me to work harder to move
>closer.  I'm like a baby learning how to walk for the first time.  Dan G's
>description here earlier about how his life has changed, his focus, all
>that.....phew....well.....that's exactly where this has taken me, too.  I
>walk around in the same spaces I 'once' occupied, with the same family and
>friends and work around me, etc etc.  But I'm a totally 'different' person
>(lol i know that's probably not the way to see it, but it's how it feels
> to me).
>
>Jule, yes I had fun reading your mail. And I'm having fun writing this
>tonight.  When those moments of Bliss and Joy come....and one is filled
> with
>the Love that's everywhere around and inside us, it's just simply
>indescribable.  And I'm really thankful for having the List.....all of
>you....to share in the Joy and pain and all of it.  Thank you.
>
>Mary, I 'read' what you wrote quite differently from the way Dan G did,
>apparently.  I felt your words were very special and showed a lot of depth
>and compassion.  I think we hear in each other's words sometimes 'where we
>are' at that moment, partly, and that helps explains the different views
> and
>reactions we have with one another, don't you think?  Dan's 'reading' made
>sense to me, too...but didn't evoke the same feelings I got from your
> words.
>
>Right now, I'm writing from a place of being filled up with good thoughts
>and sending them out to all of you.  With extra prayers for all our
>struggling stuff in our lives.
>
>Wendy
>
>
>
>
>
>Leap and the net will appear.
>http://www.tiac.net/users/wenders
>___________________
>
>  Don't take advice, take a chance, roll the dice, learn to dance.
>                        - David Wilcox
>___________________
>
SnowbirdVATNOSPAMgnn.com



Date: Mon, 19 Aug 1996 
From: SYL228ATNOSPAMaol.com
Subject: To Jean and Michael D.

Hi Jean:

I loved your poem, and found it very moving.  Hope you write more like that one
and share them with us.

Michael:

For several years before "K", I felt a spirit guide on my right shoulder.  I have
no idea if it were completely orange at any time.  I do see auras and my energy
in that area was often orange and green.
-
After "K" the guide became more visible and was white then.  For a while I worked
actively with this guide.  He was always a comforting ,loving presence, who
helped me just by being there.More recently I seem to have internalised this
guide as being an aspect of my Higher Self. I am working on this still in the
sense that more things get added to the internal image I have there over time.
But I no longer sense guides as being outside of myself. 

This is all a process so I can't say what the next step will be.  But this was
the first time I ever had anyone specifically mention the right shoulder guide. 
So enjoy it .  I hope your guide is as good for you as mine was for me.

Love Jule



Date: Mon, 19 Aug 1996 
From: SYL228ATNOSPAMaol.com
Subject: Re sesnsitivity to the pain of others

Wendy:  

You asked how to detach from the pain of others.  I've had this trouble too.
 I'm slowly solving it by thinking in a way I would not have found possible a few
years ago, because frankly I would have thought it selfish of me.

What I do is I detach from results.  I take care of myself, and know that in some
mysterious way since we are all one , when I do this that I take care of everyone
else at the same time. I learned slowly and painfully that to love your neighbor,
is not to take on so much pain of others that you collapse under the weight.  You
can only love your neighbor, if you first know how to love yourself.  Then you
can use that as a base to help others when appropriate. 

 This does not help with the extreme sensitivity to the emotions I pick up even
from strangers.  But I have learned to simply be very open and kind of send love
constantly wherever I am.  That way when I pick up on the pain I know I've
already done what I can.

Somewhere I read that we should never leave the house and go out among others
unless we have checked ourselves and are free of our own emotional baggage and
have open hearts.  That is a tall order, but when I can do it, I seem to be able
to cope with the pain out there better.  

It also helps to remember that this life is short and pain is relatively
shortlived too,  especially because a lot of pain is caused by the way a person
is looking at life. I focus on trying to help people see the bigger picture. 

You mentioned death as a prelude to "K".  I've had enough experiences,
knowing who would die, communing with the dead, etc and my own partial NDE to
know that death is an illusion too.  If you can get that conviction across it
helps with the pain.
I find it very difficult to take a funeral home visit seriously!  I'm always
the one saying s/he is waiting on the other side etc. and saying it because I
believe it.  But you would be surprised, when you know it yourself, people do
pick up on it, and it helps.

Well enough of my rambling

Love Jule